What kind of step parent are you?
I read this article online and I pasted part of it below. I'm interested to see, how many step talkers are either permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative step parents to their skids? I'm assuming I'm asking this to those who aren't disengaged. I'm pretty sure I fall between authoritative and authoritarian. Expectations of blind obedience and tinges of shaming comes out if they get in super bad trouble (extreme cases). I'm working toward authoritative/somewhat permissive if possible. If DH will stop making me parent them like they are mine of course.
• Permissive parents are reluctant to impose rules and standards, preferring to let their kids regulate themselves.
• Authoritarian parents demand a sort of blind obedience from their children.
• Authoritative parents take a different, more moderate approach that emphasizes setting high standards, being nurturing and responsive, and showing respect for children as independent, rational beings. The authoritative parent expects maturity and cooperation, and offers children lots of emotional support.
This combination distinguishes the authoritative parenting style from both authoritarianism and permissiveness.
Like permissive parents, authoritative parents are responsive, nurturing, and involved.
But unlike permissive parents, authoritative parents don’t let their kids get away with bad behavior.
Authoritative parents take a firm stand, expecting their kids to behave responsibly.
Like authoritarian parents, authoritative parents enforce rules.
But unlike authoritarian parents, authoritative parents show high levels of warmth, and they emphasize the reasons for rules.
When kids make mistakes or misbehave, they attempt to reason with their children.
Authoritative parents encourage a verbal give-and-take, and explain the consequences of good and bad behavior.
Authoritative parents are also less likely to control their children through harsh or arbitrary punishments, shaming, or the withdrawal of love.
Put another way, the authoritative parenting style reflects a balance between two values--freedom and responsibility.
Authoritative parents want to encourage independence in their kids. But they also want to foster self-discipline, maturity, and a respect for others.