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What do you do when SKids are over??

daisy611's picture

Hi everyone! So thankful I found you all! Quick background, I am currently engaged to an amazing guy who also has 2 children from a previous marriage. He gets them EOW and every Weds night. He has them today, so naturally I made dinner plans with my friends. My question is, what do you do when your SKids are around? Do you stay around the house, or are you out of there as much as possible? They aren't super bad kids, but sometimes I just want my own space....

janeyc's picture

I do spend a lot of time with my Sd, from the early days when she hated me, I spent time alone with her, it really made a difference, she is a different girl today, she loves me, sometimes like you, I need my own space, it is perfectly normal to feel like that, I think most Bio parents feel like that sometimes as well, at least my friends say that lol, disengaging was never an option for me, now Im totally involved, I get a big say in what happens, if Sd is naughty then I tell her off, this is my second time as a step parent, the first time I was Sm to two kids, they were such lovely kids so easy, Sd6 has really put me through it, many times I nearly threw in the towel, now things are so much better, due in part to the fact that my Bf has stopped Guilt Parenting. Every person is different, I can only say that in my situation spending time with her has improved things.

napamom's picture

I make other plans when I can or mostly spend time with my bios. It sucks but it's called survival. Araqiel is thankful you have them only EOW plus 1.

daisy611's picture

Trust me I know. Although I had a mental breakdown one day (I'm pregnant, that's my excuse }:) ) and I told him I didn't know if I could handle it if they moved in full time. Before anyone attacks me and tells me not to marry him, don't. I already hear it enough. I love him. We are however moving further away from them to be closer to my parents when the baby comes. Then they will only be over EOW

ThatGirl's picture


Helena.Handbasket's picture

I usually do my own thing unless its just SS13. Sometimes I join in when SD16 is around, mostly I don't.

Typically I am doing something around the house, work or run errands.

harvey's picture

I think what you should do depends on their ages, if the are young like under 10 I would spend as much time with them as possible as I feel keeping out of the way at that age will mean they become accustom to you not being part of their lives, join in get to know them however if they are teenagers keep a respectful distance as they will be far less likely to accept you, In recent years I actually got a job EOW on top of my full time job as it was an excuse to get away, my DH thought I was just wanting to earn money, they just thought I was working all the time and I had a place to go to get away from the hellish SD. I felt more comfortable and it mafe things less tense in the house. Kids need time alone with their Dad but they also need time alone with you, I would leave as much of the telling off to your other half that way you cant get blamed for being me but nip any rudeness directly to you in the bud as that will get worse otherwise.

Can I do this's picture

I am a teacher, so during the school months, I find myself saving papers to grade for when the SDs are here ... or I'll read, watch something on tv they hate (they have a tv in their room, I don't, so therefore they can watch what they want in their room - unless it's a family movie we are all watching), make a point for a girls' night out at least once while they are here so they can have alone time with dad, housework, etc.

3familiesIn1's picture

I envy your EOW +1day much like the others.

I am 50-50 plus I have 2 of my own children from a previous marriage - so unfortunately I cannot get away.

I do however, pretend to work on my PC at times, read a book, take a very long time to get groceries - those are my 3 main get aways that I can do without DH getting all pissy claiming I am avoiding.

ownedbypedro's picture

I used to just always do my own thing because I would be ignored anyway. I would bake, knit, read, take walks, go to the Library, clean/organize around the house, do laundry, etc. Anything to try to keep myself sane. I didn't work - LMAO!

byebyebirdie's picture

I just go about my daily routine as if skid is not there. my skid is over EOW plus two days during week so it's hard to leave all the time. Today I was off work and DH worked so I just float in pool or whatever and skid can do what they want