What do I do?
It's been a rough week. My ex-husband got remarried Saturday. And his father got remarried Sunday. My anniversary was Wednesday. Instead of going out to dinner with DH, I bought him some flowers and left them by his grave.
I'm on and off with guilt. The situation of DH's death is sticky, and the people in my life advise me to cut ties with his family. His best childhood friend really reached out after he died. I asked him to be a pallbearer, and he sang some of DH's songs at the funeral. While DH and I were together, we didn't spend time with this friend. He and his wife maintained a relationship with BM.
Now the friend is asking to meet me to reminisce about DH. I feel obligated, but at the same time I think it's a bad idea. "The lonely widow meeting the married, best friend of her late husband, whose wife is friends with her husband's ex-wife." It sounds like a horrible setup for a movie on Lifetime. I don't know how to respond. I've already had to be curt with BM in ending that communication for good. It goes against the grain of who I am. But having these people around clearly causes me anxiety. I have my own friends and family to lean on. There was no relationship with this particular group of people while we were married, and frankly, I feel like an outcast when it comes to his immediate family. BM, while with her many faults is the same "breed" if that makes sense. DH's sister never really liked me. His mom always liked me a lot, but I've kept my distance out of respect for her having to continue on with the BM in order to keep a relationship with my SS11.
Oh geez...does any of this make sense? It's so complicated. I guess my main question is should I meet with my husband's friend? Under what circumstances? What should I say? I keep going in circles on this.