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strugglinginaz's picture

Hey Everybody, I'm new to this site and wasn't sure where to start. I'm so glad there is something like this here. 

I have two teenage children, moving out in another year or so to college. Both are very self-sufficient with school and work, etc.  I remarried two years ago and have two step children (10 and 11). My marriage is extremely strained and a lot of it has to do with the SS's. One of them has been great, but is vey manipulative. I think that is the way he has learned to get what he wants at both houses. Of course my husband doesn't see it.The youngest is extremely disrespectful, I'll say something to him and he will ignore me and walk away. I will bring these issues up with my spouse, and he then proceeds to have private conversations with them in their room. He cuts me out of conversations, so I think really supporting them ignoring/disrespecting me. Everything in his life revolves around them and their activities, and with COVID and not having normal avenues to get out (out to restaurants, trips, stores, etc), we really aren't doing well at all. We have them 50% of the time, and I dread when they are with us because I feel like it's me against them. So I'm struggling and really don't know how to make things better. I guess wanted to come here to maybe make a few friends that can relate. I feel extremely isolated with all of this and it is starting to wear on my mental well-being. Anybody looking for a friend?! 

Kes's picture

A lot of us here have, or have had, the issues you describe with a partner not addressing poor behaviour of their children.  Usually this is about taking the path of least resistance and not wanting to lose the relationship with their bio child, especially if they are the non custodial parent.  However this leaves the step parent feeling in some cases disrespected, or worse, in their own home, and that they come a very poor second to the child/ren.