Wanted: Full size punching bag with chain hanger.
I need to re-cap to make this all make sense. I was told that even though I took the week off from work to go to Tybee island with my SO and two SSs and the MIL, that I wasn't going to be able to go because MIL wanted the week to be about her and the boys. At the time SO and I had been arguing and she didn't want to deal with that at all and just wanted boy time. I was miffed gloriously and made it known that if the situation was reversed I would tell MIL that she had to like it or lump it.
This past weekend I found myself alone around the oldest SS12 and told him that I could tell he had been told about me not going to Tybee island. He asked how I knew and I stated that for a cool trip to be just around the corner, no one was talking about it in my presence. He stated that my SO had explained that MIL wanted boy time. I told him that I really wanted to go and spend time with them all and that I thought the entire situation and was bu**sh*t. Then, upon thinking about stirring the pot some more with SO I asked him to keep my opinion between him and I. He said OK, and I repeated, him and I.
Today, in a vigorous texting session at work about my johnson, she breaks off and informs me that oldest SS has told her what my opinion was about Tybee and that I should never paint her mom in a bad light to the boys ever again. WTF?? So, she proceeds to tell me that she told her mother I smoke and drink and that is the real reason she does not wish to spend the week with me. I know, I know disgusting habits but walk in my shoes and then see if you are holier than thou. BTW, I have never been sloppy around the boys and smoke in spurts.
She goes on to say I should never speak to her boys disparagingly about her or her mother in confidence, did I ?? So she then goes on to say she chose me at Christmas over her and that she has not seen her mother in a year, (implied 'because of you Kevin and your habits') and that it was a very hard decision. As far as the boy spilling the beans she said he at 12 didn't know what 'in confidence' means and that I should make sure that I know that he knows what I mean before I assume. I replied giving a word for word account of the conversation, KNOWING full well the child KNEW my intentions. So, she has forgot exactly how this subject reared its head, even though it is her focus now and was brought up an hour earlier. I told her that basically she was taking the meat of the conversation from a 12yo that cannot even remember that I told him my words were, 'between you and me'. I also explained to her that this was a raw subject between us and that I didn't step on anyone's toes, disrespected no one, and wanted it to be between him and I because I KNEW she would blow this out of proportion. I then asked her if her mother had any issues with her Ex when he smoked dope and why she did or didn't. I have yet to hear an answer to that one.
I just wanted to express to the boy that I wanted to come, I wanted to spend time with him and the fam, and that I thought the reasons for me not going were bu**sh*t. Word for word I wrote to her earlier that, ' I have been betrayed, deceived, discriminated against, and disrespected'. I have asked for apologies from all parties involved to get speaking rights. I will not utter a word until I get my due!!!
With that being said, PLEASE outline for me in a quick format:
1. Anywhere where I am wrong or handling it wrong, because I cannot change if I am blind to it.
2. Where she is wrong, not really as ammunition, but as validation for how I feel. When I think about this I get SO mad I cannot put logical thought into words and lose the reason for being angry, I just AM angry. Hulk smash!!
3. Remedy the situation, no offense but it seems that my word combined with logic and assertive recollect is not enough to overpower the flighty off hand word of a 12yo and his spotty memory combined with wild assumptions on the SO's part.
Kevin The Man