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ocs's picture

Over the years, Batsh!t BM thwarts any attempt by DH to talk to teachers, counselors etc... at SD13's school.

New school counselor got wise and got his number from SD, and called him at the office. Turns out, BM has been saying he is an absentee dad and has no interest. As sole custody primary parent, the school has no reason to think otherwise.

BTW- this is the first we are hearing that SD sees the counselor daily... Her grades are great- but she is anxiety ridden and the teachers have been a little concerned.

He has an appt with the counselor this week. BM will go apeshit. So far- the conversation has been VERY enlightening in terms of the lies BM has been telling.

Kilgore SMom's picture

Bm are so stupid! Don't they know some day someone will see thru their bs. No they don't so we get the last laugh Smile i would give anything to see her face :?

IslandGal's picture

I'm appreciating your advice beaccountable, and taking it to DH to do - regarding getting the teacher's email address - thank you!

We found out last week that BM decided to give SD a free day off from school once a term. SD already has a bad attendance record. When DH found out and blasted BM for it - she told him it was up to her. She has full custody of the skids and has had this in place for 4 months now. Prior to that, DH pretty much raised the kids for 10 years, himself. DH is still furious and plans to write her an email telling her off. I have a strong feeling this is going to get steadily worse as she grows older.

I also have a feeling that SD lies about her grades on her assignments, but DH just takes he word for it. I'm going to suggest he get the teacher's email addresses so he can contact them regarding her assignments and attendance.

Since DH and I moved in together, BM's attitude has gotten worse. She's spewing big time because she's lost control over DH. She no longer calls the shots. He's no longer always there for her. One thing she has to realise is this - even though he's no longer living with skids, he's still responsible for them. He pays child support, pocket money and forks out for items/clothing/medicals etc that they need. He calls them every single night to wish them goodnight. I just wish the selfish bitch would wake up and thank the moon and stars for the fact that he's a fantastic father. But, as usual, people who have it good - don't see it and are the biggest whiners of all time.

ocs's picture

beaccountable- we have made a list of who will get his business card when he gets to the school.

and yes- this new counselor saw waaaaay too many red flags and was uncomfortable about what BM says.

Thanks for the tips! I will absolutely make sure these i's are dotted and t's are crossed!!

B22S22's picture

After speaking with the counselor, you can also enlist him/her (counselor) to pave the way with the teachers. The counselor can take a few moments to speak to each of the teachers about the situation and clue them in. Trust me, it carries a lot more weight coming from the counselor, as teachers often don't have the time (or sometimes the patience) to be caught between two parents.

ocs's picture

Thanks B22S22, I will tell him.

He is so happy to be able to have a meeting without it being hijacked by BM.

EvilWickedSM's picture

Wow, it's nice to hear about a BD/exH who actually cares about what goes on with the child in school. My ex can't be bothered to show up for anything...teacher conferences, Meet the Teacher nights, school programs, etc. Nor does he ever ask about DD's report cards, how she's doing in school, nothing.

ocs's picture

This crazy nut job has taken in Stepdaddy and called it the family. No mention of DH as biodad at all.

Thing is, dumbass didn't realize how much different step daddy looks to SD13...

Rags's picture

Good for your DH for getting the appt. Our situation was 180 from yours. BioDad had no interface with schools at all. Or much of anything else for that matter.

The only contact that the SpermClan ever had with SS's schools was when SpermGrandMa would decide that my DW was lieing to her about when SS got out of school when they were making visitation travel arrangements. SpermGrandMa would call the school to get the schedule. Never once did we manipulate though on a few occassions over the years we did flat out tell her specifically when SS would be available for Summer visitation and when specifically he had to be home in order to start school. We did this so that we could take our vacations with him without manipulation from SpermGrandMa. She had a bad habbit of specifically selecting Summer visitation dates that interfered with our plans. So we quit sharing plans and just told her the range of start times for their 5wk summer visitation.

The CO actually gave SpermIdiot the choice of specifically picking the start date of his Summer visitaion. Winter and Spring were fixed to school out and in days so there was not too much drama over those visitations each year.

I went to every parent teacher conference, every school event, every counselor meeting, etc.... DickHead never went to any even for SS ... .ever.

momto3's picture

Good for your DH! We had the same issue many years ago with my youngest two SD's. We made attempts to get copies of report cards, etc. The kids lived three hours away, so we couldn't always be present for meetings or activities. We were blocked and ignored by the school...then found out BM had told them the older of the two girls was afraid of her father & feared that he would come to the school and kidnap her :jawdrop: We couldn't believe it!!!!

After speaking with the school admin, they began to understand that was the furthest thing from the truth. Not to mention, they had joint legal custody, so DH was to be allowed access to those things.

ocs's picture

similar here- thank god that SD just regurgitates BM's lies. Not to the extent of kidnapping, but there are anxiety issues and panic attacks that SD suffers from that she blames on DH. When SD explains the reasoning to anyone it doesn't make any sense and the counselor just saw too many red flags, ignored the mother saying DH wouldn't be bothered, and reached out.
I recently had to phone police about BM and of course BM says I made it up. When SD13 shared the convoluted lies that BM told her with the counselor about the police, counselor knew something was amiss.

SD has a diagnosed slight physiological condition which contributes to feelings of panic. Her insane mother doesn't calm her and explain it- just says DH causes it. SD13 was diagnosed just after being at his house, so when she was that young (9) it made sense to her.