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Valentine's Day

sbm014's picture

So to me Valentine's Day is a over drama sized reason for people to be sweet and romantic.

Tonight when talking to DH it got brought to he asked what we were going to do for the day my response "Nothing we have SS" to which he made a comment about why do I have to blame it on SS and said we will figure something out. I don't think he was to upset but maybe neither of our comments were needed. I just think of it being more about couple and that love not love towards a child.

Am I bad to think it won't be a different special day if we have SS? I mean it will be the 2nd day we have him which typically it means it will oh wait be about him. I don't see it being any different than any other Friday and honestly it doesn't bother me as DH and I try to have sweet time each time he is home without a holiday forcing it.

However this makes me feel like he will try to do something and SS will be included making it feel somewhat odd.

How do you deal with steps on valentines day?

Mind you this is the first year DH will actually be home pretty much since we got together and last year we went to a very very nice dinner early and home to a silent house.

simifan's picture

Just because the kid is home doesn't mean there can't be any romance. Plant the kid in front of a TV With some nuggests & fries - and presto! instant candlelight dinner for two. Happy V Day, Kid - have some extra video game time while dad & I have some adult time. Be creative.

sbm014's picture

I am supposed to pick DH up from the airport sometime Wed night most likely his flight will come in at like 11:45 and he gets SS from school Thursday. I'm not worried about celebrating the day. I think the concern was the fact that even our weekend is going to be consumed by retard-ness this time home as DH agreed to be in a wedding he wouldn't be home and now he will be, the groom is alright but the bride is something else and so our normal date time will be consumed. We also have never done it on the day as he has never been home, not since we dated, not since we've been married heck last year he went to work on our anniversary and this year I will be out of town for work. So, with him never being home and with my ex he didn't celebrate any holidays ever I didn't know how people on here handled it. I have no fear we will get our time.

Orange County Ca's picture

I never noticed any increase in prices at McDonalds where I take my woman on special days.

jumanji's picture

We always dud VDay on different date as the 14th was too expensive for: flowers, babysitters, dinners out, etc. I'd make something special for the four of us (fondue was a favorite), then Dad and I got time for ourselves after the kids went to bed. It's reallt pretty normal for parents to put VDay off a bit.

Everyone got a cArd and some candy (except for the year my (then) husband decided to eat our daughter's (she was 4) Barbie hearts). Yes I sent him out at 6am on the 14th to find a replacement. And I was so mad, he sure as hell wasn't gettin' any.

sbm014's picture

It is expensive like I said I am not worried about that. I guess I could do cards. I don't think candy is needed in the house right now between girl scout cookies, and DH requesting me make a batch (12 dozen) of my oatmeal chocolate chip.

ocs's picture

We don't bother with it typically. ( I will make DH's fave, only because it is super rich and NOT something you want to eat on a regular)

This year though, DH and I are having 3 of our single friends over for dinner. It's an excuse to drink too much wine and have some fun.

That said, if SD was with us? he'd make a production of it.

sbm014's picture

See that's I guess one of the main things is - I don't feel the need to get SS something. His loyalty is to BM why should I pretend to make a day of love about him? I mean I love the kid but it's not a day about kids.

live.fate's picture

Skid day's make me feel like I have a roommate rather than a DH, I don't exist, and I doubt valentines day will be any different. I've learned with my DH it's best not to hope for anything to avoid disappointment.

sbm014's picture

Jealous! DH got me a massage last time he was home. I am not going to get another until probably April as I am doing strategic planning, and stressful assignments at work -- doesn't seem like it would be worth it to pay for something before all this stuff is over. However, I have been taking vitamins to keep my body out of a knot.

QueenBeau's picture

DH just switched weekends with BM so we don't have SD on this weekend. I have a long weekend and we are getting out of town.

I need a f'n break. Last weekend SD was here we threw her a big party, I didn't have time to clean upt he house afterwards until YESTERDAY.

I felt guilty, but I told DH I was leaving 1 way or another. Having SD here for a weekend is a lot of work for me (I know I could just be lazy but she is on this kick where I walk on water & she will just come over & start talking to me & talk for like 20 minutes. I AM TOO TIRED & not ashamed to say it lol!) & it's supposed to snow again this weekend so I'm sure BM would have cancelled anyway.

sbm014's picture

Haha. I've been 3 weeks without them and I miss DH dearly. I wish we could have this first weekend without SS, however I am afraid only a few awake hours will happen before we get him. Normally the middle weekend is ours but we have to go to a wedding DH is in and get there Friday for rehearsal, and then wedding is Saturday afternoon so I guess we will be together but will not be a break at all. So, I was going to suggest maybe lunch Friday, and a impromptu date night maybe the Monday before we get SS. I would say I'm not worried about it all but next time DH is home that whole week I have work relations that will require me all day, and most of the evening so getting in a little alone romantic time when I'm not half asleep would be nice. We do have our nightly time but it's nice to have extra time set aside as well.

sbm014's picture

This is one joy of DH's job we don't have set holidays of being home, or SS. Yes it says when we get SS but like this year he is supposed to leave the day before Christmas Eve creating the 2nd Christmas we will have apart. Every holiday is a different experience with us rather he is home or not.

sbm014's picture

Argh! I spent most of the day alone -- DH and SS did get me a new awesome super nice pair of cowboy boots, flowers and small box of chocolates.

However then SIL started crap and we had to deal with that. Almost putting me to tears because I am so sick of drama.

DH cooked dinner and I did dishes now listening to him and SS play MY PS3...what a lovely day.

DH says we will do something else next week. I just feel so done for the day.

Hope everyone else is having a better day.

sbm014's picture

Next week SS will go back to BM. When DH is home we get him the first and last week - so no sitter would be needed. This is only SS's second day here and they haven't seen each other in 3 weeks so it's more about SS.

jumanji's picture

At the end of it - it's *just* a day. One that can be celebrated on any other day. Hallmark won't mind.

sbm014's picture

I understand and to me it was until he said he wanted to make it special and then it's like it just fell apart and he was more into SS and his needs, and dealing with SIL drama etc. To me it is a day but if you tell me you want to make it special stick to your word...and like I said I got some very nice gifts.

sbm014's picture

I didn't either until he said something. With him working offshore holidays have less meaning to me....since we never know if he will be home or not.

DH got me boots and flowers. I replaced his sweatshirt that got ruined, and paid to have his work jacket cleaned and water repellant put on.

Rags's picture

Why is your DH asking what the agenda is for VD? IMHO it is his responsibily to plan the day and show you his commitment and the pedistal he puts you on.

At least that is how I do VD for my bride.

sbm014's picture

He had a decent reason to ask. He tries to make stuff special but I am planner so like though he had a idea of what to do for our anniversary I beat him to the punch and had already bought tickets, hotel room etc for an event. So, I didn't mind him asking due to past events.

sbm014's picture

I'm sorry. Like I said we dealt with SIL drama and then it was about SS.

I am thrilled with my flowers and boots but like I told him last night I want to have attention more than just at the end of the night when SS is here especially when you say its supposed to be special.

SMof2's picture

Valentine's day ...sucked!!!!
My Skids were there and as a matter of fact my birthday is the same week and they were there for that too. Instead of me having one on one time and it being special it wasn't even mentioned. Evryone went on like I wasn't there which is worst than just not doing anything. I don't know why I expected anything different. For NYE we ironically had the SKIDS and we went out and they literally called every 10 minutes, and they were with theri grandmother. It was so bad we left and picked them up, agaiunst my wishes, another one on one moment ruined. I don't ask formuch but some times you need time away how else will we grow the relationship???