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Update to Ultra Super Vent

omgstop's picture

Original post here: http://www.steptalk.org/node/219578

So last night, dh went to pick osd up from work. She came in the house pissed off over a convo she and dh had in the car and said, "Fuck you", to dh.

Rather than engaging her in an argument, (this is what she wants, she LOVES to argue and scream - osd gets her consequences after they have both calmed down), dh came in, grabbed ss and went out to run errands.

Straight after they walked out the door, I went to put my puppy in his crate so I could shower, dd was in my room on the computer. Osd was standing in the living room waiting to pounce on an argument.

I closed the door, she started with her bs. I opened the door, foolishly thinking I could get her to calm down. She threw out all sorts of accusations, basically put on a top notch performance. I held my ground and stayed calm until she accused me of caring about my car more than her...this on top of hearing her say, "fuck you", to her father and the added stress of the car being crashed AND the anxiety over having to tell dd's father about what's going on because dd is not used to this sort of thing got the best of me.

So we fought. I told her that I never wanted her to drive my car in the first place and that I failed as a step-parent for giving in and allowing her to drive my car ever because I am worn out by her CONSTANT demands and nagging and just wanted some peace and quiet once in a while. It was ugly but there was no name calling and no swearing. She spent the night at a friends.

Today I'm over it. I sent her a text with an apology for yelling, nothing else. I should not have engaged in that with her and my emotions are no excuse for not remaining in control. Ysd is freaked out because she's never seen me lose my temper, I'm disengaged from ss and he wasn't there anyhow for the blow out and dh is just exhausted all the way around.

Just wanted to give an update, not sure how tonight is gonna go, however I did get paid so I can run out to the store and grocery shop if I need to get out. Whether we live in a dumpy apartment or not, that is MY home that I help pay the bills in and I WILL NOT be run off by this spoiled little girl. (Running off has been my go-to my entire life when things got outta control - outside of taking care of my bios I mean).

Some of the stuff she said is beyond ridiculous and stupid, it actually reminded me of one of my favorite songs by The White Stripes, Effect and Cause.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I'm glad you went off on her. That's just me. Your OSD15 sounds like my SD19, who I most certainly think suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. No one will ever know, because Dear Daddy won't get her to a shrink. I've learned that anything you say to these types, be it good or bad, ....all they do is twist it and fire it back at you at rapid speed, Your OSD needs a smack right across her damn mouth.

Or you can always lock her in the garage and really piss her off. }:) I've found satisfaction in those moments. Turn the lock and listen to the mewling cat mixed with raging bull. LOL Such entertainment us STers are privy to! Blum 3

~ Moon

omgstop's picture

Oh girl, her mother is a PIECE. OF. WORK. I wouldn't doubt she has some kind of borderline personality issue. Dh insisted on therapy, and when she was accepted into Day Academy, we found out it was a requirement of the program.

And you're absolutely right, no matter what I, or anyone for that matter, says or does to help her, when shit doesn't go her way, MUSHROOM CLOUD OF ENTITLED GUILT coming your way.

I'm doing my best to bide my time for the next few months. She should be done with high school by February and after that she can go live with the elves at the North Pole or with her gram in Florida, anywhere but my home. The other two skids are only over a couple of days a week, so my goal is for osd to be O U T ASAP. I should put that on a slogan board lol

Kaliko's picture

+1 on the mouth smack.

I detest violence. My parents barely spanked me; I was one of those kids where a disappointed look would destroy me. But sometimes I fantasize about *curb-stomping* my SD when I hear some of the crap she says.

omgstop's picture

SAME Kaliko. I know I shouldn't be surprised by some of the shit she says but HOLY MOTHER OF MAYNARD, a great deal of it is SO INANE it's physically stunning.

omgstop's picture

You know what else? It's starting to dawn on me that osd just wants a verbal punching bag. Voldemort cried to me a few years ago about how dh is, and has always been, "verbally abusive", to her, said the same thing about osd. One night, dh and I were on Skype and he put Voldemort on speaker and WHAT A MOUTH that bitch has. I wasn't surprised and I called her ass out on it. This is what osd has learned from her idiot mother, regardless of whether they have been estranged for the last couple of years or not, I arrived too late to make any real difference and what little difference I have made goes unappreciated by osd.

Dh is a pretty laid back guy and, largely, not a grudge holder. Not saying he's a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he thinks before he talks, (which is a blessing AND a curse, believe me lol), so Voldemort and osd got used to mouthing off. SORRY BITCHES THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.

I'm starting to see that osd is a mini-wife, so she has to go.

SugarSpice's picture

i agree with your going off on her. you should not have apologized, imo. why is it that no one has the balls to give it back to these mouthy skids. both the parent and the step tiptoe around.

sd needed a taste of her own medicine. skids from broken homes almost always suffer some mental issues, whether its too hung on on the parent or making the parent a best pals and being unable to have adult relationships.

omgstop's picture

Honestly, I've apologized to anyone I've yelled at in the past...I feel like such an idiot for not being able to get my point across without raising my voice is all.

DarkStar's picture

^^^^THIS^^^^

DAMN STRAIGHT my car means more to me than you do. You cause more problems and grief than my car EVER gave me!!!