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Update on Porky and Taco

paul_in_utah's picture

Just a quick update on the new developments in my personal StepHell.....

So Porky and Taco moved in, just as planned. I had a meeting last week in another city, but as luck would have it, Porky and Taco also went out of town to visit Porky's grandmother. Can't catch a fucking break. Why couldn't they have been gone this week, instead of both of us being gone at the same time? Porky has been her usual rude, entitled self. For example, Porky and Taco showed up at 10:00 PM Saturday night. They apparently came back from her grandmother's early, but didn't bother to let us know - they just showed up with one of their nasty friends, all of them reeking of cigarettes. Last night, DW slaved away for several hours making dinner, but Porky was gone all day and ended up "forgetting" that DW was making dinner, and ate somewhere else. Of course, DW said nothing about this rude behavior. After all, DW is the one who taught Porky that it is ok to be rude, and that showing appreciation is a sign of weakness.

As you might imagine, DW has dug in her heels, and will not even discuss any ideas about an exit strategy for Porky and Taco. Of course, they are not paying any rent, not helping with utilities or groceries, etc. I would be very surprised if either of them have any ideas about looking for work any time soon. I'm sure that DW plans on keeping them here indefinitely, and I can "like it or lump it."

Well, to be honest, I'm already getting pretty close to "lumping it". I'm going to give it a few weeks, but if things keep going on this trajectory, I'm going to have to file for divorce. We were originally going to move out to a small house in the country, and rent out our current house for some income. It is becoming increasingly clear that DW's "master plan" is to keep Porky and Taco at this house forever, and also to move her 350-pound son - aka "Tubby" - into the house as well. Of course, I would be still be expected to build and pay for this other house, but DW's loser kids (along with Taco) would live in this house.

I hate my life. Just not seeing any options other than leaving, getting bent over in the divorce settlement, and paying alimony forever to support DW and her new boyfriend, whoever that ends up being.

ctnmom's picture

Paul, I'm so sorry. I agree with the above posters and I can see you're almost there, one more thing- when you are on the other side of this and disentangled from this one sided marriage, you will be SO much happier. I had a friend who cried everyday for a year after her DH left her for the other woman, I didn't know if she'd ever be herself again. Literally the tracks of her tears were seared into her cheeks. But come out of it she did, and she is THRIVING. She has bad (medicated) anxiety, she didn't think she'd ever find someone for her ever again. She met a lovely man in her divorce support group! And her ex is dead after alcoholic other woman and he spiraled into a 3 year binge. Karma is real, you WILL thrive, and the sooner you make the leap , the sooner the life you deserve will be yours.

paul_in_utah's picture

You're absolutely right, this has been in the works for a long time. DW knew about it, but deliberately did not tell me until a few days before they were scheduled to move in, since that would limit the options that were available to me.

The Army movers just dropped her and Taco's belongings today.

Supposedly Porky and Taco will be looking for jobs and getting their own place, but you know how that shit goes. Why would she try to leave? She is living the good life - no rent, no bills, can stay up as late as she wants, sleep as late as she wants, no responsibility. It's just like it was when Porky was in high school.

And by the way, Porky really **is** porky. She's about 5'10" or 5'11", and is easily 220 pounds.

DW is very devious, and has pulled this plan off perfectly.

paul_in_utah's picture

Movers were in and out in about two hours.

If you don't mind my asking, why do you put my name in quotes?

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Florida is right now this minute going through alimony reform. Lots of states are following suite. Maybe you should just go see a lawyer before you ever even hint to her what is going through your mind and get your ducks in a row

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Paul, is there some way to start limiting the amount of funds available for household use? Some means to start diverting funds and hoarding cash? Maybe you could make up some story about a fund for the new home.

Rags's picture

Oh hell no, next time Porky and Taco leave the home have a locksmith come and change the locks. Do it now before they establish an extended residential presence.

Tell DW you have changed your mind. If you want to make a placatory show then go buy a very old used mobile home, put it in the cheapest park you can find, prepay for a number of months of lot rent and tell DW that your marriage is for the two of you and adult spawn regardless of their biology have to navigate their toxic path on their own and you are not willing to put one more penny of marital resources into her toxic spawn and their crap.

If a divorce is going to be filed for make sure it is you that files, document, document, document, and lead your bride to some clarity. Go get the best lawyer in town. Also see about having a consultation with the top 10 divorce attorneys town just to make it difficult for you wife to find anyone who is worth a shit it it goes to shit.

Take the offensive and put your foot down.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.

Amcc13's picture

Paul I said it last time I will say it again. Please get a shark of a lawyer and sort this out