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UPDATE! FIL ON BM'S SIDE!!!!

dragonfly's picture

HERE I GO...THE REASON I HAVENT BEEN HERE IS THAT I "DON'T WANT TO CARE" OR GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THESE WITCHES. I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE WITH NO WORRIES ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK OR SAY ABOUT ME BTW THEY IS OR COURSE: BM, SD, MIL, BIL WELL ALL OF DH'S FAMILY. I WANT A NORMAL LIFE WITH MY DH AND MY BABY BUT THEY KEEP ON BUGGING US AND THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE WITH WITCHES (NO OFFENSE TO WICA) LIKE THESE AROUND?

THE UPDATE:
SOME OF U MIGHT NOW THE STORY ALREADY BUT FOR THOSE OF U WHO DONT ILL TRY TO KEEP IT SHORT. ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO I CAUGHT SD (8 YEARS OLD) WATCHING PORN ON OUR COMPUTER AND DID IT WHILE HER DAD WAS AT WORK AND I WAS TAKING A SHOR NAP WITH MY NEWBORN. WE GOT AFTER HER AND WANTED FOR HER TO GO TO THERAPY. BM GOT ALL WILD UP AND SAID IT WAS OUR FAULT(MOSTLY ME) CAUSE I WASNT TAKING GOOD CARE OF HER PRINCESS. SHE WAS TAKEN TO THERAPY BUT WE WERE NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS OF COURSE BM TOLD A CROOKED STORY TO THE THERAPIST. WELL SD ENDED UP BEING DEPRESSED AND TAKING MEDICATION FOR THIS. MIL FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS BEFORE WE DO (OF COURSE WE ARE THE LAST TO FIND OUT ANYTHING TO DO WITH SD). SHE CALLS MY DH ALL PISSED AND TELLING HIM WHY "WE" ARE MEDICATING THE CHILD. ACCORDING TO HER WE WERE GIVING SD THE MED. WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON. WELL THERE WAS A BIG FIGHT AND TO CUT THIS CRAP SHORT BM TOLD A BUNCH OF LIES TO MIL AND MADE HERSELF LOOK LIKE A SAINT AND OF COURSE MIL BELIEVED EVERYTHING.

THE REAL UPDATE:
BM IS NOW VERY GOOD BUDDIES WITH DH'S FAMILY AND SD SPENDS WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS WITH THEM ONLY (CAUSE SHE DONT WANT TO BE WITH HER DAD NO MORE CAUSE DADDY GETS AFTER HER FOR WATCHING PORN)NOT US FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW. IF SHE DOES COME OVER THERE HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF FUN GOING ON LIKE A PARTY OR FUN HOLIDAY WHERE SHE WILL GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT AND HAS TO BE DROPPED OF THAT SAME DAY. MIL HAS THE WHOLE FAMILY AGAINST HER OWN SON AND ME AND THE LOVELY GRANDPARENTS HAVE SEEN MY BD ONLY ONCE SINCE THE FIGHT. I JUST FOUND OUT THROUGH FACEBOOK THAT BM AND BIL AND HIS WIFE ARE REAL BUDDIES AND KEEP EACH OTHER UPDATED ON WHAT THEIR LOVELY DAUGHTERS DO AND LET EACH OTHER KNOW WHEN SD WILL BE JOINING THEM.

MY ISSUE:
DH'S FAMILY NEVER HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BM WHEN SHE WAS SHORTLY MARRIED TO MY DH. WHY NOW? WHY THE HECK WAS I KICKED OUT AND REPLACED WITH HER? WHY IS SD BETTER THAN MY BD?

Thetis's picture

Fuck them all. Just be happy with your family. I'm sorry but I'm dealing with something like this. I'm terrified my FIL is going to try to take me and DH to court once my baby is born so he can have visitation, or try to pull something with child protection services since his girlfriend thinks I'm an alcholic. FUCK THEM! Don't let this hurt you, because it hurts BAD when you let them in. Please don't lose sleep over this. Your BD deserves to be around people who love her and her family. Please take care.

Thetis's picture

He had all the paperwork ready to do it to BM. Then we threw a fit and told the Ahole to talk to her. And he now gets SD when ever he feels like it.
I don't know if he can since me and his son are still together and we both don't want him around. But its one of those terrible pregnancy fears. Some women are afraid of twelve toes, I'm afraid of FIL.

Snowflake's picture

Depends on the state you are in.. but if you could go to court you can tell them exactly why you don't want your child around FIL.

Thetis's picture

I guess I should say that he will not be taking my child anywhere without me. So yea that adds to the fear of him pulling something. I'm also afraid that he will spoil SD infront of this child. So next xmas if there is not a gift for my kid then all of SDs gifts will be going to grandpas house and he can keep them there.

Snowflake's picture

Who cares... I wouldn't. They will miss out on a relationship with thier own kin, and for what, some BM? AS long as YOU have your dh, that is all that matters. Take the drama out of your life and forget them all. Your daughter has her daddy, and that is more then stepkids have.

dragonfly's picture

THATS WHAT I CONSTANTLY SAY TO MYSELF " SCREW THEM ALL"...BUT SOMETIMES IT GETS TO ME CAUSE I FEEL LIKE MY DH IS HURTING BECAUSE HIS STUPID FAMILY HAS NO FEELINGS FOR HIM AND NEITHER DOES HIS DAUGHTER..I DONT WANT HALF OF HIM WITH US I WANT ALL OF HIM.

DO UR DH'S FEEL THIS WAY?
HOW DO U DEAL WITH THAT?

Thetis's picture

Your guy is always going to be hurting because of his father's actions. There is really nothing you can do to change that. Check out bonusfamilies.com it has alot of articles to help you and your dh through things. (If you can get pass the fact that its written by a BM/SM couple. (Like the BM of SMs Skids!) Weird but they are bang on with the issues!

dragonfly's picture

well at least im not the only one going though this weird situation not happy though.. i have also encouraged dh to approach his family but i dont bug him much. he has tried and and in less than a minute he is getting upset over the phone. they turn everything on him and make him look as the evil one. he is now tired of their game.

you know i once read a family magazine about the relationship between mother in law and dil and it said that if the relationship wasnt good after several tries then to just give it up and avoid contact... it was weird cause u know how it is now days where everything is fixed with hugs..

youre right our story is very similar specially these parts:
My story is similar to yours. DH's family disliked BM and was glad she divorced DH. They seemed to like me fine, even though they always brought up BM when I was around. Then, when DH and I got engaged that all changed. BM became everyone's #1. She went from the outcast to the center of everything. I did nothing wrong nor did I give them reason to dislike me. It just happened when dh and I took our relationship to the next level.

and the fact that they never miss a weekend without sd but forget about my baby for 2 years now.

my dh said "they dont know what they are missing"
my consolation is that i have a GREAT BIG FAMILY and they show us love all the time.