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Update....

Chocoholic's picture

I haven't been in here for about 5-6 weeks now because I have been heartbroken.... DH has joint custody of SKs, we have them 6 out of 14 days. Since DH and I met, BB has been causing nothing but trouble. BB is jealous (even though she is the one that cheated 3 times and walked out on DH 3 times!) She doesn't want DH to move on or be happy and so she makes our lives miserable.
BB has taken us to court a total of 4 times in the past 1 1/2 years trying to 'modify' the parenting plan, or trying to 'vacate' the divorce decree and parenting plan, ETC. She has never been sucessful. BB has attempted to get Restraining orders against myself and DH, to which we have contested and each one was tossed out. The last time she tried (in October 2006) I countered her request and the judge granted both her and I mutual restraining orders against one another restricting us for one another's places of employment and one another's homes.

To make a VERY long story short.... in April, my 2 year old SS came home with a beaten black and blue butt. You could literally see the imprint of whatever was used to beat him with all over his little bottom. We took SS to the doctor and the markings were reported to CPS.

-NOTE- BB met a new guy 3 months before my SS was beaten... He is the only new addition.... she met him and is supposedly engaged, yet she still lives at her parent's house which is a 3 bedroom trailer housing a total of 15 people... 10 adults and 5 children. 4 of the 10 adults have criminal records including convictions and 5 of the adults use drugs around the children.

So, we reported the abuse and BB turns around (as expected) and blames me! She swears up and down that she didn't do anything and that I must have. She said she would take a polygraph test. We consulted with our attorney who told us NOT to submit to any polygraph testing because they are not reliable and are not admissable in court. So, we refused to take a polygraph. The very day that we refused the children were removed from our care and placed into protective custody with their maternal grandparents (in the 3 bedroom trailer with 15 people living there), BB was told to leave until CPS had excluded her as a suspect.

BB took a polygraph, passed and the children were returned to her. She promptly went to the court and obtained a Restraining Order against DH and we have not seen the kids since.... It has almost been 3 months.

CPS has since closed their case after I submited to and passed a polygraph test.... (DH was never considered a suspect).

The Police Department is not pressing criminal charges because they have no evidence of where SS was abused.... they cannot determine if it happened in BB's care or in our care.

BUT in the meantime.... we are still trying to get BB's order against DH dropped. The order says it is in effect until a motion is brought to the court showing "dispositive evidence"....

We recently sought Psycological evulations and are waiting on the results before we will hit the court will all of our evidence.

I am just so sick over all of this.... I have been pouring through paperwork and finding proof of all of BB's lies.... she contradicts herself in statements to the court vs statements contained in police reports... I have been able to establish patters of her behavior.... statements from DH's ex girlfriends that have had similar run-ins with BB, Police reports, court records, ETC. I am so overwhelemed with all of it!!!!

I help our attorney by doing all of the leg work (it saves a TON of money) but there is SOOOOO much there that I get lost sometimes.

Anyway, that is why I have been missing.... I am stressed, overwhelmed, and missing my Stepkids terribly.

happy's picture

And jsut so you know, what you are doing to help your husband and his children is truly amazing, although its stressful and over whelming and all that and not to mention probably just draining, you are standing by him and your family. Some woman would have walked a long time ago. I commend you and my heart is breaking for you. Just remember all this hard work will pay off and hopefully it will be for the kids and there safety.
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

Imustbcrazy's picture

What a mess. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are in my prayers. I knew something had to be going on since we hadn't seen you. Keep on fightin Choco. And we are here for you to vent.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

goincrazy's picture

Your sk's are lucky to have you. Keep up the fight and it will all be worth it in the long run! Good luck to ya!

Sebbie's picture

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
You contacted CPS about the brusies on ss, bm took a polygraph, you and dh refused initially, bm resides in a 3 bedroom trailer with 15 people, 4 which have criminal convictions(felonys?) and 5 who currently use drugs(around the children?)Bm took polygraph, returned to the 15 person home with children and recieved a restraining order agiants you and dh on what grounds?What state do you reside in?

Chocoholic's picture

Sick isn't it? We are in Washington, and CPS in WA are incompentent. They dubbed me the 'prime suspect' when I refused to take a polygraph test, and removed BM from the prime suspect list when she voluntered to take the polygraph test (before even taking the test!!!)
They said that I was not cooperating.
Nonetheless, with myself being the prime suspect, CPS left my two children in our care.... where I could have easily beaten and/or killed them in the meantime. Why didn't they feel the need to protect my children from a potiential child beater?

BM received the restraining order against DH on the grounds that CPS had deemed ME the prime susupect when I was refusing to take a polygraph test..... when I did finally take and pass the damn test the case was closed, but we are waiting to go back to court to show the court that the case was closed.... in the meantime, she has an order against DH (whom was never even a suspect).... and we can no contact with the children until "further order of the court".

Anonymous's picture

If you are the suspect in the cps case what is the reasoning for DH to have a restraining order?

Anonymous's picture

this is very interesting usually cps does an investigation of the homes when there is an abuse case. So if there are drugs in the BM's home and there are too many people living there I find it hard to believe that cps would allow the children to return home.