Update
ive wrote on here a couple times. This is just a update and vent. I’ve basically almost completely disengaged from SD due to her behaviors, lies, etc. Well, SO left her in my care yesterday for about 5 hours. I was not comfortable with this, but agreed thinking I’d give it another chance. SO had more than one talk with her before he left about what to do/what not to do; even though she’s 8 and knows right from wrong. Well, his talks didn’t work, as usual. The entire time he was gone it was back taking, smart remarks, if I asked her not to do something she’d look at me and continue. At one point she apologized saying she was only “kinda sorry” for treating me bad. She told me she treats no one else this way, it’s only me. The day before she accused her half brother (age 3) of hurting her and then again of shoving her. He did neither, my SO and I both witnessed it. My SO offered no punishment for the false accusations. He also offered no punishment for all the grief she gave me while he was gone. So I spoke up and took her iPad for a week. I’m 4 years into this and just so tired of it all mentally and physically.
Well if you are miserable
Well if you are miserable anyway might as well pull-up your sleeves and lay out some non negotiables with SO. It won’t be pleasant, but neither is the alternative. No SO, no SD.
I have
Weve had many talks. One not too long ago. I expressed my concerns very openly and honestly. We also very recently had a family discussion about her picking up after herself. I had to pick up things of hers to which she was suppose to do chores in order to receive them back. She refused the chores. Guess what? Dad gave it all back. I’ve truly tried. Tried to teach, tried to show, tried tried tried. It all blows up in my face and is shot down.
Omg i just read your old
Omg i just read your old posts. My DH is like your SO. Same issue, can’t leave because visitation of our kid. Don’t trust him to do the right thing if I’m not there. Skids are older. Oldest one is messed up. I’be been fighting with DH because older SS is banned from my house. So yeah.. it gets worse. But you have another home? You could try.. “SO, I think SD is exhibiting some strong behaviors and I don’t think my and bios presence is helping. We are going to move to my house, I’d like you to come too. And when it’s your SD time, you can be at your house with her. I don’t think this conflict is good for any of us, and perhaps her behavior is a cry for attention and she needs more of you?”
omg if we had another house..
Yes
Yes, I’m going to have to try something different. I’m so tired of everything. It’s so exhausting.
Did not we tell not to be by
Yourself with SD??? If you are not going to listen, not change anything, why so you think SD is going to change ? Because he had a talk ?? Well that didn’t work !
No
No, it certainly didn’t. And it never has. SO had a funeral to attend. I was trying to do the right thing as he had no one else to keep her. Of course, it was hell on me and a bad decision. Idk. I’m so tired.
She has a mother, I see your
She has a mother, I see your SO has 50/50 custody. If he won't deal with her behavior, then if he isn't around, she goes to BM's house. If BM can't take her, then he can hire a teenage babysitter, or find a relative willing to help.
It's hard to set boundaries like that, at least it is for me - but at this point, you have to do it.
Yes
yes, I agree
Single parents figure it out.
Single parents figure it out. There’s plenty of sitters in the world. He can also just take her with him. She has nowhere else to go because you say yes. If you weren’t there, what would he do?
For safety reasons if a child will not listen to me, I would not watch them. That’s dangerous.
Yes
Yes, I agree.
Its not only the not listening, it’s the lying & false accusations too. I do make sure to keep documentation.
Maybe get a nanny cam
Maybe get a nanny cam
I
I have thought of that
Keep documentation of
Keep documentation of everything. These blind daddeees need to see the actual reminders to stop the insane denial. It is wise to always protect yourself, document, document, document.....sad you have to live like this, but you are not with anything close to normal in this dysfunction many of us live.
push record on your phone
push record on your phone when she is about to pull a stunt