You are here

Unrestricted phone access

MJL2010's picture

Hi everyone. It has been a long time since I've posted and a lot has been happening that I am nervous to post on here because of our proximity to court. I can't wait to be able to tell about it all! In the meantime, I do have a question.

I'm wondering about your experiences with the "unrestricted phone access" provision in divorce agreements. BM calls twice a day, every day, and more often than not interrogates the boys as she speaks to them. DH will not "follow them around and listen in on them" because he is convinced that that would make them feel self-conscious and nervous. So my first question is, how do you address the alienation and interrogation that goes on over the phone while the skids are in your DH's custody time?

Second question is: assuming that the skids want to talk to their mother when she calls, no issues. But if they do not wish to talk to her, must we *force* them to do so? When do these calls become the skids' responsibility and not our obligation through the divorce papers? It is so easy for me with my kids' dad; he calls when he wants to and if my kids want to call him, they can. But with her insistence on twice daily calls, it's a power thing with her and not something she does because she misses her kids. (Of course she'd never admit this, as she is MOTY in her delusions.)

If we are doing something as a family that would interrupt our "flow" for SSs to take her call, we tell them afterward that they should call her back if they would like to. But it's easy to see that they don't think they have a choice in calling her. If at some point they feel like they don't want to, is it still our obligation to make them call this fiend?

Thank you!
MJL