Unrelated but Seeking opinions...
Ok the ONLY benefit of Step brat coming over is he Monopolizers DH Attention. While yes this is highly Annoying if I even so much as want to talk to DH but it has its benefits also. Why? Because DH Can't sit still. DH gets up at 7am with his feet running. Out doing some yard/house/car project. Now I'm a Front line essential worker and tired as hell when I get home. I would LOVE to sleep in or take a Saturday and do NOTHING. Watch Netflix all day in my Pjs, sit by the pool all afternoon and read a book.
Now I don't expect DH to stop what he's doing and join me BUT I know him. If he sees me doing "nothing" he will either ask me for help, ask if I'm going to be cleaning x,y, z sometime soon( his way of letting me know there's work to be done)In DH mind there is ALWAYS work that could be done around the house and views sitting around as lazy and waste of time.
DH thinks I work all day on Friday's in Reality I get out at noon. I use those few hours to RELAX and do NOTHING till DH gets home.
So you see when step brat is over DH is all involved with him and clueless to what I'm doing.
Do you guys ever just do nothing on your days off??
Haha! I feel that I do
Haha! I feel that I do nothing, quite a bit, on my days off. My DH lets me be. I tell him that I feel so lazy and he says, "You're not lazy, you're just tired."
I love that man! He allows me to completely be myself, no pressure.
You should be able to do nothing if you want.
Same here. I like to do
Same here. I like to do "nothing" and DH has no issue with it. He just came back from fishing and I told him I had mopped the floor so he would not think I did nothing, and he said, "you can do whatever you want. Even nothing. "
He's pretty good at doing "nothing" too. I put that in quotes because to me, reading or gaming or watching movies is not "nothing", it's relaxing.
Our neighbor is like your DH and I once told him I wished I had his energy for household tasks and he said, "It's relaxing for me. "
So your DH probably finds work like that relaxing and you don't. So remind him how you relax and don't let him push you around.
I told him I had mopped the
I told him I had mopped the floor so he would not think I did nothing
That is so funny! I have been known to jump up and start doing things when I hear the garage door open. Even though I know that he does not care and doesn't judge me.
See, it's a deep feeling of
See, it's a deep feeling of being lazy if your house isn't spotless, lol
I'm retired but have the same issue
I admit I'm not a ball of fire. I'm retired and love being able to do things at my own pace. I'm on my couch a lot, in my mind, so what. My DH, on the other hand, is a hyperactive, type a person, even at 83. His ideal wife would be scrubbing 24/7 and if really ideal, would be kissing the SKs patooties in my spare time. Uh, no. I hope I don't ever hear the word lazy since I worked 33 years and raised 5 kids while getting a degree. We just have to tell ourselves they have different metabolisms and more power to them!
I have days that I"m
I have days that I"m energetic and want to get up and go, but I need my downtime. I can sit in pj's all day watching netflix, no problem! I'd even go so far as to say that I need a couple of hours of downtime at night so that I'm not all wound up when I go to bed.
As long as it is part of the schedule
I'm one of those too who always has to be productive, but I've learned in the last few years there is a joy in binge watching Netflix! This is after productivity for me - I can't procrastinate so it is not enjoyable or relaxing if I've not gotten stuff done first.
My DH is always productive - he loves a project and I love that about him! This quarantine he has put down like 7 yards of mulch, planted his garden and he built a gorgeous habitat for our tortoises. The tortoise house is amazing and was such a sweet thing to do - I love those tortoises (we got them for DD15's 12th birthday...but I fell in love in like a day)!
I get your husband's point of view in that I could not stand watching total slothfulness all the time (I am NOT saying that is you) but I think it goes to they type of person you decide to marry. I think he needs to back off and let you relax given the stress you are going through now! Thank you for all you do. And enjoy your Friday afternoons
If you don't make it messy in
If you don't make it messy in the first place, it doesn't need to be cleaned.
On top of that, I spent the first half of my career outsourcing all non critical roles and optimizing efficiencies so I am all about having people for "that". Whatever "that" may be. I outsource everything I possibly can. Yard work..... check. Auto repairs..... check.
Currently I cook and clean the kitchen. I do not mess up the house so other than cooking and cleaning the kitchen and minimal laundry I don't do crap but look for my next career opportunity..... and distract myself with STalk. *wink*
My bride is a cleaner. Even if nothing is dirty or messy. When she goes into nesting mode, her word for it not mine, I duck and cover and stay the hell out of the way.
Cooking and cleaning the kitchen gets me a lot of bride points.
My DH is a man in constant
My DH is a man in constant motion. (This does not always mean productive.) But he doesn't expect that of me, and I'd be resentful as hell if he did.