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Unbelievable Day in Court

Redsonya's picture

Geez - what a crappy day in court.

BM is a fat, lazy, bitch who is a couple years older then me, raising two teens (I have a toddler) and apparently needs ME to support her ass. No joke, she tried to pull a fast one and have MY income used to impute support since DH's contractors license is suspended (by us on purpose - the bond is really expensive so he lets his license go on hold when he doesn't need it). BM tried to claim that I must be supporting him since he can't work? I have no idea what she is talking about - she totally knows where and for who he is building a house for. But - I make way more money than DH so she thought I should have to take care of her and SS13. It didn't work, but jesus lady - get a life.

Then the judge flat out denied to terminate spousal support - BM was issued a Gavron Warning to become self supporting 18 months ago and still works part time - she has never worked more than part time in the three years that they have been divorced, no additional education, nothing. She told the judge that she has been looking for work and was thinking about going to school to be a paralegal. Thats all it took - judge just said that it sounded like she was trying and that was good enough. Unf'ingbelievable! Anyone else know anything about terminating spousal support? I can't believe they even order it anymore. What is she, 8 years old? She literally took the house, the newer car, the boat, and left DH with debt and a support payment. How the f is that fair?

Redsonya's picture

You are spot on Ana:) I am younger, more attractive, financially stable, and educated. BM knows all of this and it drives her CRAZY. Why would she want to add to her level of patheticness by making it sound like she can't support herself, but somehow I am able to support EVERYONE? Its embarrassing.

Our finances are completely separate and our house is in my name (bought before I met him). I am pretty safe - BM would never have been able to actually get my money, but she would have gotten more out of DH based on my income - which is basically the same thing.

christinen's picture

Ugh! My DH and BM were never married so we don't have to worry about that issue BUT I can only imagine how horrible and frustrating it must be! I never understood spousal support either. Why does a grown adult need the help of another adult just to get through daily life? It's ridiculous. Thank gosh the judge didn't go for her idea to count your income though- oh my gosh, that would be INFURIATING!! Lazy ass BM needs to get a job & quit being a leech!

Redsonya's picture

Its completely unfair - BM brings a handwritten calendar of visitation, a table showing what she claims DH has paid (totally inaccurate), and then tries to get me to become responsible for her support. Meanwhile, DH and I have to supply years of records - and only a check with "child support" noted on it will do without special review and approval by the judge. DH had dozens of cancelled checks that he deposited into her personal bank account (that he was never joint on), but that may not be enough. The reamed DH about his income and then just imputed minimum wage earnings on BM ($500 a month less than she actually makes). That was actually a favor - now we can go back AGAIN and state that BM's income was reported incorrectly as a factor in why the whole support case should be rereviewed.

Just seems like she can submit complete crap and its taken at face value, while DH has to have perfect records. The good thing is that DH is so pissed now, he isn't doing ANYTHING to help BM again. Just stupid stuff, like driving SS13 home (when its BM's job per the CO), because he'll already be up there. That sort of thing. We also have an agreement with her that she refinance the house in 4 years or else we get it:) DH is looking FORWARD to kicking her ass out - I've been looking forward to it since we filed the agreement last year;)

Of course BM is crowing on Facebook to all her hideous friends already. I know I shouldn't look at it, but I just love knowing that BM can say whatever the f she wants and the skids won't say a word, but if they overhear me and DH in our BEDROOM one time talking about BM, they flip out.

Oh yeah, and my MIL (who hasn't talked to me or DH in about a year) called last night screaming at DH about some nonsense. When I took the phone she screamed at me about some rumor BM told her. I finally understand why DH wants NOTHING to do with his family - fine by me!! What a crappy couple days.

Ashleystepmom's picture

There are fundamental differences between the treatment received by women and men in the legal system. BM in our case filed bankruptcy due to her irresponsible behaviors and stupid investment. She thought she was some kind of Donald Trump, matter of fact, she is nothing but stupid, uneducated, self tought but nobody approved know-it-all.

SD7 is living with us full time and bm hasn't paid a dime. Court hasn't pushed her to pay at all. On top of all these, she wants her daughter to stay in private school (dad and I need to pay for it) To say I hate her is an understatement.

Ashleystepmom's picture

AnaR, your opinion is exactly what I believe in. She definitely has a say in the education preference of her daughter, I don't dispute that. And if my DH feels that HE can afford it, then go for it. I am not going to dispute it either.
In our case, I have to contribute at least $250/month in the educational fund should they both decide SD7 to receive education in private school.

I have no say in the educational preference, I am fine with that.
I must contribute if those two decide it is the best interest for the daughter to stay in private school, I am NOT fine with that at all.

I told DH, "If you want your daughter to stay in private school, that is great. You pay for it." My husband is still "thinking it over" :sick: Those two had sex with each other and made a child, they have to figure out a way to provide for her. Not my kid, not my problem.

My state use step parents income to determine child support, I have never heard anything sicker than this.

Redsonya's picture

I make $100,000 a year, but I put myself through college and grad school and worked at my career for 14 years, while BM sat on her ass, literally. She hasn't done anything since the divorce three years ago and works part time. She knows how much I make and it drives her NUTS.

When BM started all this nonsense about my income supporting the both of us, I was ready to come unglued. I am not a party to this case, it is not my kid, and she for damn sure isn't my problem. I just can't believe that her admitting she can't support herself at age 40 and needs DH's younger, more educated, prettier wife to do it for her is a big win. Seriously, I would be flat embarrassed to admit that and she has been crowing about her big "win" all day.

The good news is that DH is getting a lawyer now and all pretense at trying to be fair or civil (not in person or the phone, he is always that way), but any kind of favors or help that don't require him to go out of his way are OVER.

oldone's picture

DH's second wife (who thank god he never had kids with) is a greedy bitch. She is dying that she can't get her hands on MY money.

I've let her think that I have WAY more money than I do. I worked for a major company that went public (very high profile)a decade ago and I let her think I made millions and millions.

Redsonya's picture

Luckily the child support services people were so taken by the sad plight of BM, that they let her get away with murder - they imputed her wages at minimum wage and stated that DH only had SS13 10% of the time, when its actually 21%.

That leaves changed circumstances that DH can use to go back and state that the judge did not have all the info in front of him. DH froze up a little bit when asked about the spousal support issue and only said that she hasn't looked for work. He didn't add that she stuck him with all the debt, took everything of value, including the house, and didn't ask for proof that she was looking for work.

We are going back again in the next couple months with a lawyer.

jumanji's picture

So... Your husband is building a house w/o a current contractor's license? Do the people he's working for know this?

Redsonya's picture

Yes - its called Owner/Builder, he is paid by the hour, its totally legal and the person he works for (and has done work for more than 15 years) is fully aware. The only thing he cannot do is write or implement contracts. Thanks for your concern.

Orchid91's picture

Our BM told DH that I should contribute towards her cs payments too, like 'any DECENT person would' (her words). Very entitled!

She has had one job, when she was 16 and she worked in McDonald's for a couple of weeks. She has since lived off welfare and DH's money. I would shoot myself before giving her a penny of my money.

byebyebirdie's picture

that is just crazy this day and age. support yourself. heck me and my x husband dont even do child support the kids are 50 % mine too as long as he splits the big bills with me in regards to the kids i can support my own kids with no help from the court system.