Ugh, I knew better... WHY did I not get the papers changed?
So, SS has lived with us for a while, but we never changed the custody papers/child support. We didn't want CS BM ,was paying for half of ec activities, school fees, etc. and she was fine with just taking him on the opposite visitation schedule. Well, about a week and a half ago she called and said SS wanted to move back with her now that she is living in our school district. OK, that is fine with us, we will continue paying our half of things and go back to the already ordered visitation schedule.
Well, I just got a call from her asking when to expect CS payments to resume. I told her I figured we would continue with our current plan of splitting costs because it worked really well when he was living here. It kept us communicating about medical, school, etc. She replied that since I was being so unreasonable about this situation she was going to file for back child support. I reminded her that we were never one time late for a payment, and she said I mean for the last 3 years. WHAT??
He has been living with us for the last couple of years, and we paid every dime when he lived with her. I've called a few attorneys and it doesn't really sound great because by the time we pay an attorney and court fees we will only be saving a couple of grand IF the judge doesn't make us pay because we never changed the court order.
I am so mad at myself for not encouraging DH to get the court order changed. Has anyone been through this and not had to pay the back support?
She is bluffing....get an
She is bluffing....get an attorney and get things finalized regardless. She probably doesn't realize what she will have to pay in fees. We spent over 14K just trying to give up SD....Do not give her any money unless it is through the CS office. You will get no credit for anything and a judge may see it as a gift.
I hate to say it, but
I hate to say it, but everyone I know that has had this happen has bene hit with the back child support.
I agree with Jsmom about if
I agree with Jsmom about if you do pay anything pay it thru the CS office.
DH always paid BM CS directly to her since they got divorced in 1999. The past two years prior to this March we had a similar agreement to yours only we just paid for all EC activities and co-pays, school fees etc. in lieu of paying CS. This March she filed behind DH's back for him to pay CS thru the CS admin. Okay, whatever we entered in a wage assesment so it would be taken directly out of DH's paycheck. No worries. When we filed for custody in April she filed an affidavit with the CS admin that DH was over 12,000 behind in CS!!!!!! We go next month to court over it and for us to get CS since we now have custody.
Sad thing is we have no way to prove what was paid, BUT she has not way to prove what "wasn't" paid. Right now the CS admin is just going off of her word. So be careful. I too, in hind sight, wish we had modified the order or at least gotten something in writing! Hind sight is always 20/20 tho.
Yeah, if only we could send a
Yeah, if only we could send a message to our past selves with the information...
DH called and is having the
DH called and is having the CS office fax over an application. Thanks for the advice! We will start paying through them, but still go see the attorney to see if we can protect ourselves from the back child support.
I don't know how to feel, though. In one way, I am so angry that she is asking for the money that I would rather an attorney get the money. On the other hand, at least if it goes to her then the money will at least be spent partially on DH's son instead of the attorney and court system.
Oh well, good luck to us over the next few months while we get this all figured out and settled.
Oh, dear. I've seen this
Oh, dear.
I've seen this happen, and basically the CS payer gets hosed. Basically, the COURT has ordered the CS payment. Therefore, NEITHER parent can just ignore it and have it stand.
Perhaps you should call and attorney and see what your options are. Yuck.
Same boat!! isn't it sad that
Same boat!! isn't it sad that DH wouldn't have just done it!! WE payed on the dot plus more; now that we have SD full time we don't get crap!! Do you think DH will go to court.............NOPE!!