T'Was the night before Christmas
So - I was a bit fascinated with what kind of "horror" BM storries some of you may have in relation to - Things the BM has done to the child(ren) at Christmas...not the usual stuff but the seriously WTF moments...
Here's our story -
BM is the residential parent - kids reside there 80% of the year, go to school etc (LD situation). Last Christmas the kids were with us. Turns out we planned to purchase the *same* gift as BM - see we have 4 kids to consider (2 mine and 2 Sks) and so we planned to purchase this gift - for all. We started hearing musings that poor, broke BM told the kids they could have *one thing* for xmas - of course they have been wanting this gift, so they told her and they ranted and raved for months to everyone that they were getting it (Game machine - they are teens).
No Biggie - right?! Wrong......
Kids get to open our gift first, which of course is staying at OUR HOME. BM calls kids and has the whole "what did you get" - well first thing from SK1 is "game machine". You wont believe the next things she says - on FREAKING CHRISTMAS DAY..."well since your dad bought you one I am going to return the one I bought"....3 days later, on another call, she confirmed she took it back. We confirmed after they went "home" that yes, she indeed "returned it" (not convinced she ever had it)....months later they did get one...
I swear, of all the low life, nasty BS things BM has EVER done to the kids/Us - shes NEVER been so brutally mean to them in such a blatent in your face way. How absolutely pathetic.
Agreed!
Agreed!
^^This^^ is what irritates me
^^This^^ is what irritates me about parents who are too immature to put the kids first. If you can't do the right thing, then every Christmas morning the kids should wake up in their MAIN home, not the parent they visit.
To clarify - they kids, all
To clarify - they kids, all of them, get multiple gifts from us. In this particular case there happen to also be a big family gift, which we planned to buy AND THEN found out they were *also* getting with BM. They do take home many of the gifts they get, including that same year - tablets for each of them. Please don't assume that when a gift isn't taken that we are equally as "bad" parents.
Sounds like skids got more
Sounds like skids got more than the one shared gift, some of which they may have taken to BM's.
I don't see anything wrong with splitting a large purchase among all residents of the home. Christmas shouldn't primarily be about getting gifts anyway.
AHHHHH HRNYC - the usual
AHHHHH HRNYC - the usual culprit for skewing posts, reading into things and creating drama around here....where in the WORLD did you come up with the idea they only got "one gift" - and where in the world did you see it was a gift for the SK's only that my kids use?...
I dont see what is wrong with
I dont see what is wrong with getting skids a gift and it staying in your home. You bought it for your kids in your home. Not so BM could have all the toys in the world at her place and then the kids never return with anything. For those of us that have BMs who steal and lie it makes sense.
not cool of BM, but I also
not cool of BM, but I also don't think it's cool to give a kid a gift that they can only play with 15% of the year while at your house. If it's for them, they should get to bring it home with them where they live the majority of the year, which obviously they couldn't do because they had to share it with their step-siblings. maybe BM assumed that since it was a gift to them, that they would be bringing it home and thus not have a use for two???
Nope - reading what to much
Nope - reading what to much into it again
coincidentally my wtf holiday
coincidentally my wtf holiday moments with BM relate to her giving skids gifts and then forbidding them from brining them to our house (We're long distance and have the kids 85% of the year, so basically the opposite custody arrangements as you guys have with your skids).so the poor kids get a gift, then don't get to play with it for 3-4 months until they visit her again.
Ya, see - we don't do
Ya, see - we don't do this....they get many other personal gifts and often take them back and forth.
Since this is a long distance
Since this is a long distance issue, I think BM was right to think the kids would get to take the gift home. Why have two of the same systems in one house? If I were in her shoes, I would have returned the one I purchased. I would have used the money to buy more games and accessories for the system.
My son and I live in NY. His dad lives in NC. My son wasn't forced to leave gifts his dad purchased in NC.
SDs 6&8 live 10 minutes away from DF and I. Since they are here EOWE, their gifts will remain at our house.
OP, it looks like your SKs get to play with your BKs' console while
they are visiting. That gift isn't for your SKs.
I totally get the OP's
I totally get the OP's comment about how she thinks the 'gift' was bogus in the first place.
Yeah, right she returned it ... BS
Our BM made a HUGE deal out of tickets she got for an indoor waterpark and how SD could bring a friend and have a hotel slumber party at this park. It is about 45 mins away from where we live.
When we asked SD how it was, she said pretty good, but next time "Mommmmmmmmyyyyyyy will get the right tickets." Upon further investigation, turns out BM and a friend drove them out there, did a tour of the facilities, and told SD, "ooops- the tickets mommmmmyyyyyyy bought don't allow us to actually go in. But we can take a look at it and you can decide what to do for next time..." As far as a room?? yeah- told SD, "omg- they are totally full and left mommmmmyyyyy a message she didn't get."
SD was 12 at the time- I can't believe she's that stupid, but whatever.
Oh!!!! Can we add WTF things
Oh!!!! Can we add WTF things DAD has done TO his kid/s?
My ex bought our daughter a dog for Christmas. Wait, no... he bought HALF a dog - she had to pay for the other half. Note - our kids spent 1 w/e per month there. So WHOSE dog did she help pay for? The FOLLOWING Christmas,he told her they were not really dog people, so they (Dad and kid) were taking dog to the shelter.
Nice.
Yeah - I found him, adopted him, and he lived with us for another 10 years. Sorry - but Dad's was a BITCH move.
WTF?? ya thats pretty bad..
WTF?? ya thats pretty bad..
When I called and said
When I called and said "Hey... I really do understand, but since I DO have dogs, I'd be fine having him here - would you mind telling me the shelter?" The response I got was: "He is going to a GOOD home." Ooooookay. Took me two weeks, $250, and a 600 mile trip with two kids and two dogs - in a blizzard (I kid you not) to find him and bring him home.
dbl post
dbl post
For a parent that doesn't
For a parent that doesn't have custody, but gets holidays and summers, why should the toys always go back to the custodial home? I ask this because when SS was little (12 or younger), he would arrive with only clothes (usually stained, too small, holey, etc). BM wouldn't allow him to bring anything else to our house (even though we always returned everything she sent). So we would have to have toys at our house.
If every birthday/Christmas his gifts got sent back with him, we would end up having to buy more and more just so he would have things to do/play with when visiting. So, I can understand why a non custodial parent might not let things go... they would never come back! (Most of the time BM would find out what we were planning to get SS and would want to "one up" us and would buy super expensive things.)
Now that SS is older (15), he actually comes with clothes that fit (or are incredibly too big), but almost anything we get him his not good enough and will likely get thrown away (but that's another subject).
Why buy stuff that will just
Why buy stuff that will just sit in a room and collect dust for months on end?
I understand not sending things back to BM's when the visit often. But to hold gifts hostage when the kids are only with you for Christmas and/or the summer is just mean.
Again - not just a gift for
Again - not just a gift for the Sks, they got plently of personal gifts also.....and they are with us EOW/s - not just holidays.
Again - rinse repeat - the
Again - rinse repeat - the kids get lots of personal gift, they take whereever etc. This *one item* was a family gift that ALL the kids use (in fact used most by the SK's when they are here) - and the kidsplay together.
WOW - what I can see is that
WOW - what I can see is that people seem to read way too much into posts here. For clarification - for the 5th time - this was NOT the *only* gift the kids got that year - Not really sure who suggested that or WHY - this was ONE gift they got...not the *only* one KWIM. They are generally *allowed* (I dont like that word but whatever) to take their gifts "home", including Tablets we bought for each. We have the children EOW/e plus a substantial number of summer/holiday days. For clarification - there would have been no reason BM would have thought the family gift was for the SK's to take with them...her response was actually something like "since you dad bought you one for his house for you to play with when you are there I am returning the one for my house"....Oh and the 2 Mine kids are 1 mine 1 ours/DH's&mine.....
BM is constanting competing with us - in this case it was likely a matter of A: ours was a "better" version and/or like I said she never really had one - only she perceives there to be competition with these matters...she bought them Ipods instead for second year in a row - then refused to let them bring them up for months.
Sorry - I could have made
Sorry - I could have made that clearer
My response to the people who
My response to the people who think that all Christmas presents should go to BM's house would be that BM should then be responsible for buying them all.
The kids got an awesome gaming system to share with their siblings and step-siblings. They should be grateful they have this awesome thing to play with when they're at their dad's house. End of story. It should NOT be about BM's competition or need to one-up dad.
Speaking of gifts that
Speaking of gifts that probably should not travel, and, in our case, cross state lines:
Last spring my boys' bio-dad's family got my 16yo a Playboy subscription for his birthday, and he and his younger brother had a blast "reading the articles" on the way to our house. I have no clue what other gifts they get that we never see, but of all the dubious ones that we do, this one took the cake! DH and I got good mileage out of the story. The 2 mags that my son brought with him disappeared and no other issues followed. But it took some doing.
One for the Bio-dads' team!
the gift that kept on
:jawdrop: the gift that kept on giving...smh
I gave my SD and DD a gaming
I gave my SD and DD a gaming system for Xmas this year. So they could play together. All you haters can stick it! It's a gift for both of them, wtf is wrong with that?
I guess that means I am a big , mean jerk since SD is here only every other weekend. Shame on me!
Some of you are flat out ridiculous and need to take a long, hard look at your own lives before you bash others.
Nothing SD gets goes to the trolls house, it will never ever been seen again. Like another poster said, BM can buy the things for her own home.
Some people on these boards are sooo narrow minded. Everyone's situation is different and some of us have monster BMs to deal with. I wish I didn't have a high conflict she-devil in my blended situation, but i have hope the karma bus will flatten her ass one of these days.
We bought my step-son a game
We bought my step-son a game console, games and all the accessories. We only see him 85% of the year, but we still make him leave stuff like this at our house. There have been instances in the past where we have sent him home with really expensive gifts and they always end up lost or stolen. At least if it is at our house then we know it will be taken care of. And if my step-son's mom wants him to have nice things at her house, then she can go buy it for him for there.
It was wrong of your BM to send the gift back, and I completely can understand your frustration.