Trouble in BM LaLaLand
DH got the kids back last night from their summer visitation with BM and the skids would not shut up about how bad it is at BM's. BM and boyfriend live together in boyfriend's mother's FORMER house.
SS said, "Mom and boyfriend are either going to get married or break up because it is definitely rising towards something."
The skids went on and on. ALL of these things happened in ONE WEEK at BM's!
The boyfriend is leaving for 3 or 4 hours at a time and not telling BM where he's going or when he will be back.This happened at least twice and both times a fight.
He will leave to eat out on his own instead of staying to eat at home with everyone or inviting everyone out. BM finds wrappers in his vehicle or dumpster and brings them into the house as "evidence" for a fight.
BM changed purses and didn't transfer her debit card. When she went to pay for a family meal and didn't have her debit card, boyfriend just looked at her and walked away,(didn't offer to cover it) which left BM embarrassed and pleading with the servers that she would be right back with the payment(boyfriend stayed at the restaurant with the kids while BM drove home.)
BM and boyfriend then will scream, yell, throw things at each other in front of the skids, and then not talk to each other for 2 or 3 days. This was not the first time silent treatment was used between the two.
BM, who always had hair longer than shoulder length her whole life just shaved her head even though she has a conservative professional job which did not approve(think shorter than Boo on OITNB-SD18's words, not mine). Boyfriend hates it and is calling her a lesbian.
Boyfriend who never used to drink(or at least never did it in front of the kids) is now buying a fifth bottle of his favorite alcohol every other day(buying it and drinking it in front of the skids). Boyfriend is hiding his drinking from BM (BM and boyfriend went on a 3 day vacation without the skids and BM found two flasks with this alcohol in it-not in it-in the luggage unpacking. This was another silent treatment following the argument.
Boyfriend blew up at BM (in front of skids) because he found a tracking app on his smartphone. And demanded to know how long ago BM put it on his phone. BM's response? She put the secret tracking app on his phone after she found the secret tracking app on HER phone! "So you tell me how long it has been on your phone!"
The skids are hating it every time they have to go over there.
Why does your own SO tolerate
Why does your own SO tolerate this crap and force his kids ot be in that environment? Time for an emergency custody hearing!!!
The yelling/screaming while
The yelling/screaming while objects are whirling pass their little heads might do it.
" throw things at each other
" throw things at each other in front of the skids"
So items flying thru the air is made-up fiction?
I guess my GSS got lucky when his BM was naked passed out under a tree in the front yard that police/judge didn't think he was making up and/or exaggerating stories.
No clue what cob went up your
No clue what cob went up your *ss, but my original comment here was to HRNYC. Take your holy than thou attitude to someone else ...you and River jumped into a comment that had nothing to do with any involving you or your conversation.
Go ahead and fling more *sshole comments with your smack down attitude...
I responded to HRNYC. River
I responded to HRNYC. River and your comments are threaded down from mine. I was answering HRNYC on her inquire of emergency hearing. You and River seem to think such a possibility is hilarious.
Yeah, for sure. Ha-ha. So funny to tell me to take my SGS's story to social media. Ha-ha *giggle giggle* .
My SGS was indeed immediately removed from his biological mother's home. A winged out drunk, throwing stuff. OP did say the BM and BF were throwing stuff and at least one of them drunk. I related to what was actually presented. I was responding to HRNYC why.
Take your attitude to someone who thinks You're ever so clever. That wouldn't be me.
Wow, sounds like complete
Wow, sounds like complete chaos. However... "He will leave to eat out on his own instead of staying to eat at home with everyone or inviting everyone out..."
I either cook my own meal or go out to eat when the skids are at our house. The skids like frozen, pre-made, chemical-laden CRAP. PigPen13 is a crybaby and whines/pouts/cries when DH makes him eat veggies. PrincASS17 shovels food into his gaping maw like he'll starve in 5 seconds if he doesn't keep his piehole crammed full of huge chunks of food. It's loathsome and I will not be part of it.
Why does the BF have to be there for meals? These are not his children; they are his potential steps. He is under no obligation to eat with them, buy them anything, or spend one minute with them. This is an issue between him and BM. Sounds like a match made in hell.
From the skids perspective it
From the skids perspective it is that this is causing arguments With BM And boyfriend. He doesn't invite her to go out, doesn't want the kids to come, doesn't want to spend 1uality family time with her kids.
Well... he doesn't have to
Well... he doesn't have to spend quality family time with her kids. Perhaps he doesn't consider himself family to the skids. He is under no obligation to take her and her children out or spend one minute in their company.
The sudden (and massive) alcohol consumption is cause for concern. Frankly, I would hope the BM wouldn't want her children exposed to that, but maybe she needs a man. Chaotic and avoidable. I feel for the skids.
I'm trying to figure out why
I'm trying to figure out why this is a bad thing? The man and BM live together. They have plenty of time to have dinner together. So while her kids are there, he goes out to eat, and leaves her there to have quality time her kids. :? :? :?
Skids said they are yelled at
Skids said they are yelled at for commenting on the arguments to BM. Even when saying how uncomfortable they are or even when they try to leave the room while it's hapeeling.
BM has ordered them to stay in the room or uses them leaving the room as more fire for the argument that boyfriend is upsetting the kids.
DH has tried taking them to counseling. They won't talk to strangers. So, DH encourages them to talk to family members about what is bothering them.
I did update. Those age
I did update. Those age current ages. oldest SD can drive but does not have a car at BMsome, so no she can't just leave.
And I wouldn't call the 18 year old "an adult" legally she may be, but emotionally and mentally she definitely is not. She can't handle the situations any better than the other teanagers.
"BM has ordered them to stay
"BM has ordered them to stay in the room or uses them leaving the room as more fire for the argument that boyfriend is upsetting the kids."
This sounds like what it was like at BMs moms house every Xmas. DH said he and BMs stepdad would just sit on couch and try not to breath too loudly or they would get dragged into the arguments between BM her mother and her sister.
He said if you got up to leave that would cause one of them to say "See now you've run my husband/father off with your yelling and screaming, you are a horrible person."
Luckily, the kids were all downstairs. They'd hear the fighting and know not to come upstairs. Now that they are older, they are the ones sitting on the couch trying not to get dragged into the fight.
A sudden change from not
A sudden change from not drinking ever in front of the kids to buying a bottle every other day and then purposely trying to hide the drinking. That's the issue. Not drinking at all, the amount of it and the hiding it. And the fact that when it is discovered there is an argument.
The boyfriend is trying to
The boyfriend is trying to hide it from BM.
BM is not drinking.
Boyfriend bought the bottles there times in one week, in front or each skid, and then had fights with BM about the drinking in front of skids when BM found the empty containers.
That is how the skids know.
And I never said it was my business. I'm commenting and venting about the situations the skids experienced all in one week.
I never said it was my
I never said it was my business.
And i never said i was getting involved.
And I never said I was calling the cops, getting the courts involved or trying to stop and of this from happening in someone else's house, and I never said anything to judge the situation. I repeated what the skids said.
the kids had a bad week at BMs and vented.
I'm venting now.
That is the exact purpose of this site.
"Where stepparents come to vent"
It sounds like you are the one judging me.
Sueu2, a fifth of alcohol a
Sueu2, a fifth of alcohol a day is A LOT. However, you are correct: it's no one's business except his and his partner's.
My bad, Sue. When I read
My bad, Sue. When I read that, I thought it was a fifth every day. And that's A LOT!!
I'm fairly certain I'd be
I'm fairly certain I'd be barfing if I drank a fourth of that fifth!!
The BM is not drinking only
The BM is not drinking only the boyfriend. The skids said BM was calling it a fifth bottle when she found it.
I'd like a Polar Bear,
I'd like a Polar Bear, please.
Polar Bear is an icee.
Polar Bear is an icee. Yummy!!!
I never mentioned involving
I never mentioned involving the courts that was another poster.
The only reason I'm sharing is because SOO much happened within 1 week at BMSOME and the skids needed to vent. So I am venting.
Stop indulging the kids with
Stop indulging the kids with listening ears. If nothing you mentioned is serious enough to get a judge to remove them from her home then the kids need to learn how to deal. Problem:Resolution skills start at home-teach them that the next time they try running their mouths. Tell them if they don't like the way BM runs her house then they need to do say something since they are the ones who live there NOT you or their dad. Your SO doesn't need to get into it either. Those kids need to learn how to deal with their mother and her lifestyle as she will be their mother for the rest of their lives and probably will never change.
That's what was reiterated to
That's what was reiterated to them. Very soon they can make their own choices. The 18 year old is only finishing out the summer, then she no longer has to go when the other two go or stay overnight.
It's a live in boyfriend not
It's a live in boyfriend not stepfather, not engaged. And it is his house. He may feel guilty that for him to leave the situation he would have to kick out BM.
I'm not sure why commenters
I'm not sure why commenters are only picking one of these things and saying "that one thing is not so bad" when my post was emphasizing that everything all in one week was too much for the skids to take.
And what about my original post says, "I'm on a mission to make sure everything in BMS house is under my control and business"?
I'm only repeating that the skids had a bad week and repeating the reasons they gave.
They needed to vent about their week and I needed to vent about their venting. Every situation ended in fights and/or hostile passive aggressive silence for days. This is why the skids needed a vent.
Some of you guys are taking this way too personally, blowing my post up, and making your own assumptions which I did not say.