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Off topic help needed..RUDE pushy cousin

TinaLynn35's picture

The saying is true you can pick your friends but not your family..oh well here goes.

I have this one cousin "Mary" who has always been a drama queen, needy, over dramatic self-centered.

I was on the phone with Cousin Mary the other night and asked to speak to my niece to find out what she wants for Christmas. Mary put me on speaker phone. When I'm talking to my niece about what she wants for Xmas Mary yells in "DON"T get me any GIFTS I ONLY wants gift cards to certain restaurants". Now let me back up some...

Two years ago for for Xmas Mary got me tickets to a play out of town with hotel with her daughter. Mary told me AFTER she paid for  the tickets she really wanted to go but had no one to go with her so she decided to make this my Xmas present so I would have to go. She then informed me since she paid for the tickets/hotel I would need to pay for the car gas and every ones food there.  I never expressed a interest in going and it was god awful! For last Xmas Mary got me two pairs of gloves and no NOT the nice L.L. Bean ones but the $2.50 Walmart ones and that was it. Oh and she did not even wrap them! Just gave them to me in the Walmart bag. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but can you at least wrap the gift?

Now I spend at least $200 on my niece and would get my cousin something for her garden, jewelry ect. Now my cousin has been plagued by a bunch of medical issues that has left her on disability so I get money is tight BUT she seems to have money for things she wants like a new expensive car. She also has this dead beat BF who does not work and she has no problem buying him things when he needs them like a new dishwasher for his house or nice birthday/xmas gifts. Not to sound petty but I was really thinking even BEFORE she blurted out she wanted gift cards for Xmas of just exchanging xmas cards with her. I don't buy gifts for all my adult family members just the kids and since we live all around the country we don't get together on xmas like most people to exchange gifts.

So am I wrong to feel my cousin is bold in blurting out she wants me to get her JUST gift cards NO gifts for Christmas when I never even asked her especially considering what she has got me in the past? I feel like my cousin is acting like a spoiled kid. Maybe its me but I would never tell anyone family or not what to buy me unless they aksed and even then I don't know if I would tell them just get me gift cards.

So my other queation is how do I get out of this gracefully?

So this year since

 

 

ESMOD's picture

I would tell her that this year you have decided to just buy small gifts for the kids.. period.  Please do not get me anything Cousin.. I won't be reciprocating.

lieutenant_dad's picture

This, or if you feel like you need to get her something, get her what you had originally intended to get her. But I think it's time Cousin Mary reaps what she has sown.

tog redux's picture

Do you buy for all your cousins, nieces, nephews, siblings, parents, etc? Time to stop that and just send cards for Christmas. 

TinaLynn35's picture

But I did with her and her child for years. I would not stop giving to my niece as she means alot to me BUT her mom I wish I could disown honestly. Funny thing is my niece is NOTHING like this at all. I have to hound her for weeks to tell me what she wants and she will give me a few cheap items to buy. I end up giving her money as I feel bad.

Thumper's picture

 

Tell her you have decided to buy a gift for little kids ONLY. And a hostess gift if applicable.

Wow she has a lot of nerve.  Does she do sell her gift cards for cash?

 

 

 

 

 

 

TinaLynn35's picture

She is one of these people who think she's the only one with "issues". To this day she still gets teary eyed because she got "robbed" of the perfect birthing experience with her child because she was a preemie and had to have a emergency c-section. Then there is me who ALWAYS wanted a child anyway I could but never could get pregnant and that ship has come and gone.

She basically has this loser BF who gets her nothing or pays for nothing  so if she wants to go out to dinner/movies whatever she has to foot the bill. Reason shes looking for gift cards to treat herself and this loser and she has the balls to come right out and basically ask for money.

simifan's picture

 

unfortunately if you wnt to keep a relationship with you neice, I don't think you get to cut her out But i'd have no problem getting her s $5.00 Starbucs gift card. It is what she asked for