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Threats from BM .. which would place her in direct violation

SMof2Girls's picture

"I would appreciate the money by the 15th. If not I will be forced to cancel the flights and the girls will be driving with me upon my PCS after May 29th. I will then bring the girls to you to start summer vacation after we arrive and are settled. I was hoping to avoid this so the girls would not be without their stuff during the move or for them to have to do the drive. I am unable to afford the full cost burden of the flight since I am not receiving funds from the Navy to facilitate the flights."

She also mentioned in her email that she is having child support amended as soon as she arrives in MD and that she will elect to have the amounts directly withdrawn from his pay (because apparently paying on time and sometimes early is too unreliable for her).

Per the agreement, she is required to produce the girls no later than 1 week following the end of the school year. Because she is having them disenrolled on May 24, they are due to DH by May 31. If she chooses to keep them in school longer, then that would buy her more time .. but in no way is she allowed to keep the girls until she is moved and settled if that fall outside of that one week timeframe.

And the part about the Navy not giving her any funds to move .. bullsh*t.

DH is still trying to get ahold of his lawyer Sad ..

SMof2Girls's picture

Yes, it is.

But why should DH have to pay for half the flights when she will be reimbursed for the FULL amount? She will definitely not reimburse him for his half when she gets her money from the Navy.

She purchased these tickets over a month ago. It's not like she's waiting to buy them because she doesn't have the cash.

DH is planning on telling her to just drive the kids. There's no reason to pay for unnecessary flights if the military to pay to drive them. I know she won't cancel the flights. They're nonrefundable tickets.

katietome's picture

Hmm, she is probably NOT getting the Navy to reimburse her for the plane tickets.

She IS probably going to be getting Per diem for the kids.

Let me tell you a story:

We had to drive 2500 with an infant and a toddler and we had to arrive in 7 days (nothing like short turn around). PLUS, we couldn't afford our own airplane tickets. Sooo, the military paid for the kids and I to fly. Plus per diem for 3 days at that end. They paid my Xh to drive and he received the full per diem for the 10 days we were "displaced".

My friend did the same thing for the same move at the same time. They could afford their tickets at the time. In the end, they pocketed several hundred dollars because they got good plane ticket prices.

If your Dh's XW doesn't claim air fare tickets for the kids then she gets to claim per diem for them. I just ran the query for per diem for DC. $66 a day. I _think_ your step kids are under 12, right? So that would be $33 per child ($66/2). If she takes 14 days of transit that is $792 under the DC rates. (Do keep in mind that SEVERAL of the places she'll stay on the way will be MUCH less than $66 a day per diem.)

I think you should ignore her. Given what you said on the other thread about her attitude.

As for the visitation.....(what a witch)..... your Dh should tell her flat out that if she wants to try to commit fraud with the Navy that is HER problem. She is welcome to the per diem she would receive for the girls, BUT, she had better make sure they are IN YOUR HOME within one week of their withdrawal from school. Or, he will be filing a contempt charge on her within the family court. That is going to look *so good* with this new command.

Kate

SMof2Girls's picture

Yeah, the way we figure it, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on here.

DH's lawyer confirmed he is not responsible for relocation costs. If she wants to fly them because it's easier on her, fine. If she wants to drive them because she'll get more money from the Navy, fine. Either way, DH is not responsible for half this cost.

She's saying that she'll cancel plane tickets and drive them, leaving on May 28. It will take her about 3-4 days. She would be required to deliver the girls by May 31. I don't think DH would violate her for a day or two difference if she was legitimately driving them here .. but if she gets here and decides to keep them longer (like she's threatened to do), then he WILL absolutely get her for that.

I don't honestly think she'll cancel the plane tickets. First of all, they're nonrefundable tickets so she won't actually be saving any money. Second, she has a dog and two cats to drive home. Now add 2 kids? That is one PACKED car. Not to mention all the bags they'll have to pack for clothes and essentials since the movers will have the majority of their stuff.

I think she'll fly them here on May 24. And I think she'll try to keep them from DH. She flies back to Texas on May 27. She HAS to turn them over if she won't be here. If she doesn't, DH will call the police, file a report, and again, hold her in contempt.

Now it's just up to DH to just stand strong and ignore her. I have no doubt she expects that her threats will get him to cave .. because that's what she does .. uses her kids as pawns to get what she wants.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Tell her to use her dislocation allowance to pay for the tickets. If she claims the kids on her PCS voucher, and they are NOT with her on the drive from TX to MD that is huge huge, huge, huge fraud. Crap like that is career ending in today's military.

SMof2Girls's picture

And how would we go about finding out or reporting that? I can almost guarantee she'll try it if there's no way for them to prove otherwise.

katietome's picture

Oh, it wouldn't be that hard to report it and you don't have to worry about proving it. That is the Navy's position IF they are interested.

But, honestly it IS a bad idea to do it. I would just use the threat of it as a way of keeping her in line.

Is that the most honorable policy? NO! But is it going to hurt YOUR family if you were to report her, YES. If she were to be CM'ed _or_ dishonorably discharged (she isn't going to go to Leavenworth for this) it will hurt YOUR pocketbook.

As for reporting her.... if you can show evidence that you had the kids BEFORE she detached from her current command (ie plane tickets), then you can simply call up D F A S f r a u d h o t l i n e (I'm not putting the link here. Google it, it isn't hard.) and report it.

Kate

SMof2Girls's picture

That's a pretty valid point .. while I'm sure it would be fantastic to see BM's career go down the tubes, it would have a direct, negative impact on us.

Although she did recently complete this respiratory therapist school, and will be getting her license soon. The license will translate into private practice .. so she'd be employable.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

There should be someone in her unit that goes over travel vouchers, I know when my husband was on active duty someone had to go over or approve his documents. Shoot even now in the guard he has to do that...or you can call a FWA hotline.