Thoughts on SS14 saying these things..
I picked SS14 up from BM's house at 5pm. SS14 comes out late looking like he just rolled out of bed. I asked him about this and he said he just woke up ten minutes ago as he was up playing video games till 5am. Now BM in the past always got SS14 up by ten and in bed by 9pm and ONLY allowed SS14 two hours of video games a day. So I asked SS14 Why all of a sudden BM is allowing this. SS14 said BM KNOWS better than to wake him up as SS14 will hit her or smash things. SS14 went on to say know that he's bigger than BM she can't stop him from doing things like playing video games 25/7 or staying up till 4 or 5am. Is this Concerning for SS14 to be saying?
Talk to your DH about this. Dad needs to get to the bottom of it. I would consider this a dangerous situation for everyone.
Agree and I have…
DH take on this is he can't control what goes on at BM's house. I agree to a point but feel allowing SS14 to believe he can Intimidate people with violence will only get worse. What happens when he's 18 and stronger than DH?
Old age and treachery will kick the ass of youth and inexperienc
Old age and treachery will kick the ass of youth and inexperience every time.
BM needs to deck that POS one time and when he wakes up she needs to let him know that he has to sleep some time and if he every threatens or hits her again he will have "Louisville Slugger" permanenty indented in his skull and will enjoy a number of weeks in a full body caste.
My 5'2" mother broke a couple of my ribs once when she knocked me out cold for being a lippy 16yo smart mouthed kid. I was just home for the summer from boarding school and she called me to the kitchen to take out the garbage. I had slept in that AM and walked out bare footed, with no shirt, and was in the middle of a big stretch when I said "Who does this when I am away at school. You do it." BAM! Next thing I know I woke up on the kitchen floor struggling to breath, popped up, took out the garbage, and asked mom if there was anything else she needed me to do.
It was one of those grey area incidents. I was at least partially messing with her, she was also messing with me and really did not intend to break my ribs. I never messed with her like that again except when I was hugging her from behind so I could make my escapre at least mostly unscathed.
Even now when she and I are bantering and I am giving her crap she will give me "the look" and double up her fist and say "uh-huh, keep it up there Mr and I will remind you of how that worked out for you the last time."
This kid... needs a serious adjustment with zero joking involved.
IMHO of course.
Even if my parents had divorced, if I had ever threatened or actually raised a hand to my mother, dad would have been there in a heart beat and the outcome would have been far worse than a couple of broken ribs and waking up on the floor.
I totally agree SS14 needs the shit beat out of him BUT
DH feels what goes on at BM's house is her problem not his. I agree to this to a point but allowing SS14 In believing he can use violence and threats to get what he wants will only get worse as he gets older and bigger. What happens when he gets bigger than DH?
TASER, Pepper Spray,
TASER, Pepper Spray, overwhelming violent force, and press charges. Consequences that anyone and everyone should apply to people who assault them. Regardless of who the assailant is.
The one thing that every bully recognizes is when their victim applies more pain on the bully than the bully can or is willing to apply to the victim.
Pain is a very strong teaching tool and motivator to force reasonable behavior out of the unreasonable.
Bring the pain.
I was an easy going kid and as I progressed into my late pre-teens and through my early teens that made me a prime target for bullies. I hated fighting and that was batantly obvious very quickly any time I changed schools. I went to two different elementary schools, three middle schools/Jr. High Schools, and two high schools. New guy, time to figure out where he falls in the pecking order.
Ultimately what I learned is that it is not only fighting I did not like, it is also pain that I don't like. I also learned that I have a high tolerance for pain which makes me a poor choice for bullies to pick on. Particulatly when I also learned that a bleeding bully with disfiguring facial injuries, who cannot breath, who is picking up their teeth or holding their biforcated lips together quickly forgets about bullying me.
Your SS needs this lesson and it will make a huge impression if one of his parents delivers it. Preferably his mother.
Intimidating someone with
Intimidating someone with violence, into respecting your boundaries, is poor behaviour. It's not really your problem what BM allows SS to do at her place, but you can make it clear what the rules and responsibilities are at your own house, and the consequences of failing to abide by them.
This is the take DH has “ not his problem”
I also could care less what SS14 does at BM's BUT I'm very Concerned with SS14 Attitude that he can intimidate people weaker/smaller than him with Threats of violence. I mean what happens when he's 18 and stronger and possibly bigger than DH? If BM allows him to get away with it what's to say he won't try it on DH when he's bigger
Then I hope your DH will have
Then I hope your DH will have the sense to call the cops. And I hope bm does too. He wants to play the big, tough hoodlum? Then let him face the appropriate consequences.
Trust me when I say if DH does not I will
Nothing would make me happier than to call the cops on this little shit. I would not do it now as SS14 is a minor and "protected" by family court. My experience with the wonderful (sarcasm) family court system is EVERYTHING is the parents fault and kids are the poor victims. Once the little bastard turns 18 and no longer under the protection of family court you can bet your ass I'll be calling to police and making sure SS14 is locked up for the maximum time
That little turd needs all
That little turd needs all his electronics taken and the police called if he ever threatens to hurt someone weaker than he is.
Your DH needs to make it
Your DH needs to make it clear to his kid he isn't to raise his hand in anger to his mother or any other woman, for that matter. Sure, what goes on at BM's is her business. DH still has a responsibility to raise a respectful child. Respectful to EVERYONE.
The next time SS brags about intimidating his mother with physical violence, your DH needs to drive him to the nearest police station and have him explain his actions. Let's see how tough he is against the po-po or other REALLY tough guys in a jail cell.
my son tried that attitude
my son tried that attitude thing once with me after playing video games for hours,,,, i picked up his playstation and threw it in the pool,,, he never ever said a word again. swift fast action is needed in order to shock the shit out of this brat
Tough moms raise good men
Funny story - my current boss had a single mom growing up. He admits he was a foul-mouthed punk when he was a teenager, and was thinking he could get away with being disrespectful to his mom, simply because he had a growth spurt one summer. So she punched him in the face and told him to shut his mouth and get to work on the chores she had laid out for him every day. He didn't argue after that. He is now the most supportive boss I have ever had. He will yell at anyone who is disrespectful to his employees, male or female.
This is very concerning. I
This is very concerning. I would not want that 14 year old in my house.