Is there any point in confronting stepdaughter when my husband won’t back me?
My stepdaughter is 17 years old. I have been with her dad for eight years. We have been married since she was 11. I have experienced sneaky behaviour from her ever since she was a little girl, but it seems to have gotten more consistent recently.
She is cordial and nice to me and on the whole seemingly quite good company. However, I am on the verge of going mad in my home ever since I have uncovered a slew of steady sneaky behaviour which makes me question her friendliness and apparent genial facade. I have discovered she has been helping herself to my toiletries and uses only my expensive products, but can you imagine she does it stealthily, products I use sparingly she finishes in a week without even saying a word to me. I pick up the bottle to find it empty. I have told my husband about it, he says he would buy me a new one but he never does.
I keep my mini size travel toiletries those one-use sample size giveaways stacked in a pile, When I needed them for a recent trip, I found many of them cut, opened, used and placed back exactly how I have left them! I have told my husband about it but he says I have no proof it is her, we do have two other children, but I know it isn’t our two boys.
On quite a few occasions, I have woken up to her in my trousers which she has taken without asking. I didn’t really mind her borrowing my things, but it means she would have been rifling through my things while I sleep. However, after realising she is going to without fail soil them, lose them, or even outright deny taking them. I am starting to find it rather invasive she helps herself to my scarves and sunglasses.
You have many pairs of trousers, does it matter if she borrows a pair or two is what my husband tells me. I have explained it is the concept of asking first to borrow something which doesn’t belong to you, but he says I am being overly critical. I am grateful she is too big for most of my clothes except my trousers with elastic waistbands.
What she does do openly which incur the wrath of her dad is touch and use anything expensive we leave out. If I leave a luxury bag out which interests her, I would come back to it and it would be either scratched, stained, dented, or simply placed in another spot. I understand her dad is also on the receiving end of this type of treatment as we have spoken about it many times before. The issue I realise now is my husband who lets her get away with it.
I feel cornered in my own home and are questioning my sanity as I hide creams and cleansers rolled up in underwear, lock anything of value to me up. I leave nothing of mine about but the stress is killing me. I have been bad at confronting her myself and have left major disciplining to her dad who never backs me. Is there anything apart from speaking to my husband can I do to get this type of behaviour to stop?