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Thank you everyone for your kind words regarding my brother in law's passing.

Someoneelse's picture

DH did invite sd to the funeral, and i understand why.  But i do hate it. I told him the night before to let her know that if she didn't want to, that it was understandable (in hopes that it would prompt her not to come). She decided to only come for the "family viewing" but to not stay for the entire thing.  And she came and did her fake sniffles, but saw that nobody (including me)  payed her any attention, and she left within 20 minutes. She came over for a hug from me and i pretended to not see it, and went to "find my mother". I think DH and sd might have noticed i completely ignored sd, as after we passed the casket, DH took sd to the other side of the room, as i sat with my mother (my sister was taken to a separate area after she was allowed into the immediate family viewing and want brought back into the room until the actual funeral took place). 

DH keeps taking about how sd hadn't done well with death since his dad passed away... but she literally doesn't seem to have cared one but about anyone passing.  She does fake sniffles here and there, but you can tell they are all fake. I'm glad she didn't get a chance to see my sister or her children. The ones that are grieving the most do not need to be subjected to her or her attention seeking antics. 

Sd has been in town since Friday, but hasn't made any effort to see/call/text DH, even though she knows DH is very sad about this passing (DH and him were really close). She just been held up at her mother's house. As much as it hurts me seeing DH so sad, and his daughter not caring one but, I'm thankful sd has stayed away, I've not been in the mood to fake any niceties towards her. 

CLove's picture

Has its own set of step issues.

Im glad that at least your DH understands where you are coming from. I doubt that SD24 Feral Forger would ever come to a funeral of any of my family, even though my mother has always been kind to her and bought her presents for bdays and christmas.

Ergo, she is definitely not invited to anything to do with my family.

Someoneelse's picture

Sd doesn't care about anyone in my family, she doesn't view anyone other than her moms family as anyone important. And even then, I'm not sure how important she views them... she only went so that she can be "thanked" for coming. She went on and on to my daughter (who lives hundreds of miles away and unable to drop everything and run to the hospital) how everyone was SOOOO grateful that she showed up to the hospital the day that my BIL passed... but those were empty gratuities (we're from the south USA, and full of the southern hospitality ie bless your heart, darlin you want some iced tea? And spend an hour saying good bye) so all the "thank you for coming" was just a false nicety, just something you say when someone comes. Sd only did that to "look better" than my daughter. My daughter did drive home the next day to visit with my sister and give her condolences, and let me tell you, the way my sister dropped everything and came running to my daughter and hugged her so tight, you know she was so truly grateful for her presence. My daughter never really believed sd about everyone being so grateful for her presence, but it just showed her how sd always tried to gloat, and how gross it was for her to gloat over something like this... 

Someoneelse's picture

Exactly! She's so dense and actually thought they were so happy she came... just to be completely ignored at the funeral.