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teenage stepdaughter

zanzina's picture

I am new here, so am gonna spill my despairs of being a stepfather. Have a wonderful wife of 5 years and I inherited 2 daughters, one is 21 now who doesnt live with us the other is 17, the problem. Basically my wife was married before to an east european who had a mental disorder so typically the genes could be passed down. So I took over and happy to be the bread winner take care of wife and children. The oldest apart from bouts of depression is ok, she has love and can show it, and I can handle her fine. The other, well is just basically the most deviant devil ever laid on this planet, has the most beautiful angelic voice and butter wouldn-t melt in her mouth when she first meets you, and with this charm she uses it to get her own way. Mum, my wife can spot it and this girl has been caught drinking bottles of vodka, smoking weed and stealing but mums always forgive. She was sent back to her father last summer who saw no wrong as usual to mend her ways. She has now rejoined us and a week later I can spot all the usual deviant ways, but mum thinks she has changed and wonderful and angelic. I know she is back on the weed and I think within a week back on the vodka. Mum gives her money to go to the supposed cinema, but she does not go. Its blatantly obvious to me what is happening but mum doesn-t see it I think in fear of losing her again and her being sent back to her uncapable father. I do not want to argue with my wife as I love her so much but this is stressing me sooooo much I don-t know what to do.

Please help anyone out there.

Thanks

zanzina's picture

yes in some ways, but she knows I know about her ways so she is quite pensive around me

Totalybogus's picture

You really need to sit down with your wife and discuss your concerns. Afterall, it is your house too. Let her know that you will support her in making sure the girl complies with the houserules, which, of course, you both need to come up with and agree on. No one needs to be the bad guy if you both provide a united front.