You are here

Talking to Ex on Speaker Phone

kurlos's picture

My girlfriend's 5 yo daughter talks to her bio-father on speaker when he calls her. I've requested that she either not use the speaker or use the phone in another room. I've received quite a bit of resistance about this from my girlfriend, but I don't want to listen to my girlfriend's ex on the phone. Any thoughts?

newbiestepmom25's picture

I completely understand I know I wouldn't want to hear BMs voice either. Mabey you should sit down and explain to her how you feel or ask if its not to much trouble for her to go to another room when he calls. That is only polite and if she could mabey turn the volume down a little if she has to have him on speaker.

amber3902's picture

Three questions:

-Why can't you tell your GF you don't want to hear SD's dad on speakerphone?

-What reason does GF give as to why SD HAS to be on speakerphone?

-And does SD HAVE to be in the same room as you when she talks to her dad?

kurlos's picture

Thanks for replies. Yes, have talked to my GF about it. It is the daughter's wish to use the phone, not necessarily my girlfriend's. She responds with concerns along the lines of "Is the rule supposed to be for just when her father calls, or for every phone call?" If the former, she says that she does not know how to explain it to the 5 yo. We can all be sitting there watching TV, and he'll call, and then she'll talk to him on speaker phone. It irritates the hell out of me. My GF explains that her daughter's wish to use speaker trumps mine, because "she is the child."

amber3902's picture

"My GF explains that her daughter's wish to use speaker trumps mine, because "she is the child."
:jawdrop:

Buddy, you have bigger problems than a speakerphone conversation. If your GF is going to let a FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD dictate things, your relationship is in serious trouble.

What else does GF let the CHILD's wishes trump over yours?

newbiestepmom25's picture

How hard is it to teach a 5 year old manners. wether or not its even on speaker if you are watching a movie and someone calls you it is only polite to go to another room.

stormabruin's picture

I think if I had a problem with it the easiest solution would be for me to remove myself from the room.

Stepmumsarah's picture

My partner's son (aged 6) talks to his bio mum and grandfather on speaker phone. I hate it, I find it disruptive and rude as there is no real reason for it. I suggested he talks on speaker in his room. However, it still echoes and we hear it all. I would put the rule in place that speaker phone is to not be used. I use the term "a child has a right to privacy" which means the child should have a private convo with their patent without everyone " listening in". I personally find it hurtful, when the step son speaks to his mum he will lie, and occasionally say offensive things about his stay with us. I I much rather not want to hear it. It's just out right rude!

hughpitt's picture

i'm not sure sure if you had during that time of her conversations and her ex but better she used a cordless phone so she can carry it anywhere in the house. likewise, an extension phone would be another option if your girlfriend is in your room then. and Bluetooth i guess is readily available this days for convenient usage. hope this helps.

more facebook fans

reulbachhl's picture

I think Mom needs to have more respect for you - not only is that her X but it is now in your home. How would she like it if your mother came over and spoke to your XGF on speaker phone while she was in the home. It's a respect thing - and because she is allowing her child to treat you this way - I would say RUN FAST! This is the same reason GF is not with the father I bet??? Child came first and he came second! The parents should work as a team and if it bothers you - it should bother her! Hope it works out for you! Good Luck!

Makingmecrazy's picture

I feel your pain!!! My future SS8, always puts BM on speaker when he talks to her at FDH's house. It turns my stomach and makes me gag, but at the same time, I know exactly what is said (about pick up/drop off) so she can't lie about it later. I pick my battles, and this one is small in comparison to the others.

jumanji's picture

You might mention to Mom that, if Dad were to bring this up as an issue in court? A judge may find it intrusive for a speaker phone to be used, even if it IS the child's wish.

SMof2Girls's picture

Both of my SDs talk on the phone with speakerphone on. We usually send them to their room to talk. They are 5 and almost 7 .. phone calls don't last more than 5 minutes most times and it just doesn't really bother me.