I have posted on here frequently about how much SD10 struggles in school. A lot of it is academically, but the majority is her negative attitude towards school. Well we just learned last night that schools here are closing until Jan. 19th. We got SD10 school stuff set up at the kitchen table... computer, daily checklist, etc.
DH woke her up and was trying to get her rolling. She kept complaining "It's too cold downstairs." DH "Well, we turned the heat up, put on a sweatshirt or something." Still refusing to come downstairs and do her work. Just outright being defiant. DH said "If you stay locked up in your room, you won't get any homework done." SD: "Fine, I'll come down halfway and just sit on the steps." I mean, she's just ridiculous. DH tries to be as nice as possible, but after being so defiant, he definitely does lay down the law and gets more stern and raises his voice at her. "Go to the kitchen NOW" We both don't like that it gets to that point.
SD finally goes to the kitchen table. I'm in the connecting dining room with my WFH station set up. SD10 doesn't know it though. Then I overhear her talking to herself. "I just CAN'T WAIT to get out of here! Geez!" DH and I have both acknowledged that she prefers BMs house (we're 50/50), She absolutely hates our rules and DHs parenting. This is the first time SD has come out and actually said it.
SD10 called BM the other night to complain about DH. BM immediately text back. "Can you not yell at her? I mean she is so sensitive and now she sounds depressed. It "hits her different" when you yell at her. She is just sooo scared to disappoint you and let you down" DH just responded "Believe me, I don't like yelling at her. But she gets and attitude and it's the only thing that makes her stop. I've taken away electronics, etc." BM went on to complain more about how DH parents. He just ended up giving the thumbs up emoji so BM would stop bothering her.
I mean, this is definitely not co-parenting. It's pushing SD10 away. But what else is DH supposed to do? Let her fail school? Not parent because BM says she's "sensitive"? BM falls into the "I'm the victim trap". We are both at a loss.