Summer visitation: It's the most wonderful time of the year
Just kidding. It's not.
Last summer, MIL undermined DH and okayed 10 weeks visitation instead of the court-ordered 6 weeks. By "okayed" I mean proceeded to book SK's arrival/departure plane ticket 10 weeks apart. Per MIL, it was at BM's request and that BM stated it was SK's idea.
By 6 weeks SK was ready to go home.
As soon as SK's flight departed, I expressed to DH "NO MORE extended visits!" and demanded him to pull-out the CO, make a copy it and smack his mom with it.
Needless to say, I've been anxious to see how the upcoming visitation is going to play out. I may be disengaged, but I expect him to adhere to the CO.
So, late last night DH very nonchalantly tells me that SK sent him a text stating she wanted to arrange a time to talk to him. He said the optimist in him wants to think it's going to be nothing, but quickly followed it with "But I'm sure BM has set her up to ask why only 6 weeks." Through gritted teeth I reminded him that young minors have no business in dictating how visitation goes - especially court-ordered.
She's 9 years old. This isn't going to go well.
^^^This.
^^^This.
How did MIL undermine dad?
How did MIL undermine dad? :? If he didn't want the kids there for 10 weeks, he could have changed the tickets.
Why in the world did his mother end up booking (and paying?)for the tickets? The parents should have been responsible for taking care of the travel arrangements.
downsouthinTX - CO states
downsouthinTX - CO states travel is to be split. We pay half, BM pays half. MIL books the flight (confirms dates with BM obviously) since her and/or FIL are the accompanying adult on the fights. DH works 6 days/wk, I work from home and care for our 2.5 year old and 10 month old, in-laws are retired. Plus, BM has made it very clear that SK will never fly unaccompanied - even a direct flight.
Oh, it's VERY irritating on many levels. My in-laws cannot accept that I'm disengaged, so it's an ongoing crap storm in our family. While we do keep SK very involved with summer camp, sports and other extracurricular activities, SK is done by 4 weeks and calling/texting her mommy non-stop by the 5th week.
SK's iPhone and iPad immediately go up when she walks through our door. That dials up the drama and mini-wife BS. I never look forward to it.
I would LOVE for MIL to keep
I would LOVE for MIL to keep out of it all. MIL wants to remain on good terms with BM instead of trusting the system/courts. BM is EXTREMELY high conflict and uses it to her advantage. She's notoriously for pawning SK off on anyone and everyone. The extra 4 weeks are merely for her own SK-free living.
I've encouraged DH to push for monitored communication through Our Family Wizard, but BM isn't having it. The less accountability, the better. MIL is a people-pleasing enabler and DH's balls have retracted from his fruitless efforts of keeping the peace.
It's so messed-up. I'll be the first to admit that.
This is an easy fix. Dad
This is an easy fix. Dad should stop relying on his parents to fly with the kids. :?
Dad could use two (or 4) vacation days, personal days....to fly with the kids. Since there is a CO in place, he knows which dates has to book flights for. He has plenty of time to request the days off in order to make it work. Using MIL may be easier, but then he has to accept the decisions she makes.