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That sucked

ladybug1974's picture

So i got through another weekend almost lost it. 

I went out friday afcter working all week to get stuff me needed for the table and the kids this past weekend. My partner was running late after work. I made sure to have eveything the older one likes to eat and drink, once again no hello, the worst part is we dropped them off , i drove  my parter got out, the 8 year old was like byeeee see you soon thank you . the oler got out of my car didnt say a word  ( like im a freaking taxi driver ) no bye no thank you. 

Its tiring and hard for me to have them over, it makes it harder when he is rude and it makes me feel like i dont want to do this anymore. It would make it bit easier with all im giving up if he was the least bit thankfull and respectful. 

my parnter says he doesnt mean to be rude lol what is he a idiot he doesnt understand what is rude and what isnt ? 

my partner also sa i say it to him everytime time he is here  , what else can i do i see him 4 days a month ? 

i dont know how much longer i can do this .. it does suck as i love my partner but i dont know who much longer the 16 year will come over for sleep overs still. 

im almost ready to throw in the towel as it makes me sick knowing hes coming over. From the rudness to the way he eats and drinks ( like a pig ) to the way he talks and walks. i really really cant stand him. 

shellpell's picture

Why are you doing ANYTHING for the older one? Food, rides, etc? And why is your DH failing him (and you) by not making him act like a normal human being? 

ladybug1974's picture

we drive them home togther as after we drop them off we do our weekely shopping before the work week, i dont drive him home unless we are headed to do shoping right after wards. 

CLove's picture

What he is doing is called shunning and thats abusive behavior. SD22 Feral Forger would do that. its abusive.

STOP doing anything for people that abuse you. Let your partner take it ALL on.

ladybug1974's picture

I will NOT get him anything anymore, i also will not buy him presents for xmas this year or his birthday , also i must add that last year i bought the older the gifts for my partner as he didnt get him anything. not doing that this year, he will feel like a ass i dont care. im very over it. 

tog redux's picture

Why are you making sure you have everything he likes to eat or drink? Your situation calls for total disengagement.  Let your DH drop him off alone and do the shopping by himself.  Or you do the shopping while he drops them off. If you cook for the rest of the family, of course he can eat with you, but don't do anything special for him.  Don't clean up after him, do his laundry or pick him up/drop him off.  If he says hi, you say hi, otherwise, you get to pretend he's not there, much as he pretends you aren't there. 

ladybug1974's picture

he does terriable in public place ahe has anxiety on top of everything else , he hates places wiith people lol 

Little savages's picture

I echo that approach. Do what you would normally do for yourself and DH - nothing more, nothing less. If DH wants to get special food for his kids, he can sort that part out himself if you're both shopping together, say. Sounds like you're trying to do right because you're a decent person. However, as the kid gets older, rudeness and lack of manners is increasingly on the kid. You certainly don't need to do more yourself to compensate for his poor behaviour. Be civil like you are now now but give yourself permission to step back. 

ladybug1974's picture

I just dont knwo why he is still coming for sleep overs. why cant he just come for the day and go home. hes a bit old for sleep overs no ? my son when i split with my ex was 15 and he never had sleep overs with my ex, he would take him everyweekend or wevery other weekend or even during the week for the day, fishing, dinners a fottball game or just would come over but he would bring him home after that. why does the 16 year old have to come for sleep overs every 2 weeks. he doesnt do anything but make me feel unfomy and eats . thats all. 

Winterglow's picture

He doesn't mean to be rude??! 

Then TEACH him not to be effin' rude! You have a whole 4days a month. MAKE a difference! 

ladybug1974's picture

Thats what i said , my partner says he only has him 4 days a month how can i fix this, he says i tell him all the time how much can i say something more im on him allll the time, he says he says hello when hes ready ... its a lost case really is, How does someone say hello when there ready ? they walk into someones house you say hello , you leave someones house or car you say thank you and buy. Its not brian science, And he was a gifted scholl, thats freaking funny. Mabye instead of putting him in agifted school mabye send him for manner and ettique school that will take him futhur in life then getting a A in freaking Algebra 

Rags's picture

Time to apply the consequences.  Face to face lectures, shutting off the WiFi by changing the PW and only giving it to the polite Skid, total and immediate confrontation of the rude bullshit.

Ready my ass.