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Stepson off school once again

georgina29's picture

He says he has a headache and diarrhea . The headaches are a regular thing he has that causes him to miss school. The diarrhea I never saw, my hubby just told me about it. He’s 8. He’s been at home watching tv all day. It funny this has become a regular thing now. Last night he ate dinner fine and seemed to be just fine. He even asked his dad to make him more pasta even though he ate two plates and we were out. Dad gets up from table and makes it for him in the middle of eating his own dinner and seems annoyed I didn’t offered to help and I just continued eating and ignored it all. If I had a say so I would’ve said no, you’ve had enough, eat some more veggies, fruit, and get yourself a yogurt if you’re hungry. I’ve made plenty and I’m eating. But hubby gets up and makes him more in the middle of dinner. He also never says please unless he asked. He’s been told a hundred times to say please but never does. I left for work. I hope he’s enjoying his day of tv watching because I’m not watching him, mil is.

secret's picture

Yeah my dd14 used to try to stay home sick all day with tv/internet when she was younger...

sucked to be her, I changed the wifi password so she had no internet for the day. I don't have cable. I also didn't let her go anywhere, she had to stay home.

She tired quickly of being bored.... got tired of being told her to sleep it off.

She tried a few times to say she wasn't feeling well and could she go to her dad's for the day... nope... too sick to go to school, too sick to go to your dad's.

She only stays home now if she's actually sick... and I still turn off the wifi. Dirol

Totheend12345's picture

SD13 was doing that last two weeks. But BM internet was shut off so she went to school. Fake sick isn't fun with out internet.

Can I please fake sick the rest of this week. Work is no fun lol!!!

Rags's picture

When we missed school for being sick we were not allowed to watch television or otherwise partake of entertainment with the exception of reading books. Books with no pictures by the way.

We were in bed either sleeping, contemplating, or reading. That was it. Rarely did a mysterious "illness" last much longer than to lunch time before we were going nuts from boredom and begging to go to school. Even when we were legitimately sick.

Iamwoman's picture

Good for you for not jumping up to serve SS.

DH should be annoyed at his child, not you. So often on these threads I am seeing misplaced anger and annoyance from husbands to their wives in regards to the skids. You are not the skid's mom. Anything you do for the skid is a gift and should never be an expectation from anyone.

georgina29's picture

I couldn’t agree more. I feel when they choose not to parent their kids properly or their kids end up having serious issues later on they blame you. If ss wants three helpings of food I shouldn’t be the one to cook it for him. He seems to always want to be made an exception for especially in the middle of dinner. Also I’m not missing work to take care of your child who is not ill. When he doesn’t want to have enough push to show up for work or school when he’s older don’t blame me.

ESMOD's picture

Everyone on here has the right idea.

Sick kids do not get TV or special privileges.

My parent's rule is that if you are sick.. you are sick for the whole day. You don't get to play with friends or do any after school activity. If it is a friday, we were often curtailed from activity over the weekend so we would be well enough for monday school.

That means bed rest with no distractions. No TV, no playing, no games. Food is the bland sick diet of toast and soft boiled egg. no cake or rich foods. Beverages were watered down juice or flat ginger ale. If there was a confirmed case of strep throat then we were allowed sherbet and jello.

We were generally quarantined to our rooms as well so we wouldn't infect the rest of the household.

Believe me, being sick was boring. Now, if a kid is really sick, they don't care and will sleep alot anyway. A well child who is faking it will have a 11 am recovery.

WalkOnBy's picture

Same here! We were confined to our rooms, couldn't read, watch tv, play games, cards, talk on the phone, nothing!

And I did the same with mine when they were young.

georgina29's picture

I agree with what everyone is saying. Hubby doesn’t seem to care that his son misses so much school because he’s 8 and his grades are good, well so he says. We will see.

ESMOD's picture

Wait until they want to hold the kid back a grade. There are minimum standards for attendance. Your husband should be aware of those so that he doesn't run into a problem.

georgina29's picture

Exactly my thoughts. Everything my husband has done has been reactive in such a way where it has encouraged ss to continue to want to miss more school. One day grades will slip or he will get one of those letters from social services or even worse, ss will do something horrible and won’t be able to manipulate and lie his way out of it this time. I’ve already disengaged when it comes to parenting.

georgina29's picture

I might ad he’s already 8 and in second grade, soon to be 9. If he drops a grade he will be the oldest kid in his class by far. Hubby had kept me out of communication with his teacher but claims he’s way ahead of the kids in his class when it comes to reading and has great grades. However I’m just going by what he says. When I pick up ss from school he complains he’s bored with school and doesn’t like it and his teacher is too tough, etc. hmm....

Ispofacto's picture

Kids catch on real quick if their requests are ignored without a please and thank you, but DH would have to back you up on that and it sounds like he is too weak. If you find eating with SS too infuriating, you can refuse to dine with him.

Acratopotes's picture

If you are too sick to go to school, you are too sick to be watching TV all day, sorry dude up to your room and stay there, get well.

Then get his eyes tested, struggling to focus can cause headaches, if nothing wrong with his eyes, then it's because of the TV or simply not to go to school, he will never be able to use this excuse again.

Dinner is dinner, you are not getting anything else, this is your husbands fault for jumping when his son demands, you should teach your husband not to do this and make it clear to him, Dinner is dinner, if the kid is still hungry, then make more food, but I doubt it, sometimes they eat so fast they do not realize they are full, it takes time to settle for food...

another thing can be, he's gluten allergic, he had allot of pasta this could cause the headaches as well...

caitlinj's picture

His kid needs to be in school. A "headache" doesn't cut it as an excuse to miss. If his headaches are so bad he needs to be at the doctor figuring out why he has headaches that morning then back to school by noon, not watching tv all day. He may be doing well in school now but it wont be long before he is behind. It doesnt take long to get behind in grade school and once you are behind good luck with catching up. Been there and done that. Give it time. His kid will not launch at 18 or will have other problems if this continues.