Hi I'm new to the board, my boyfriend's daughter (7 years old) has recently been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, living together for 2. She has show signs of behavior problems (bossiness, being loud, manipulate, defiant, rude...) since she was about 3. The daycare she attended when she was younger is owned by her grandmother. When she would get in trouble for these behaviors, which was often, no one would do anything about it and the behavior was never corrected. i tried talking to my boyfriend about these issues at the time but I think he was way in denial. When she entered kindergarten, he began receiving many emails from her teacher about her behavior. There were instances where she spit on a kid on the bus (she denied), she would correct other children's work, speak out of turn, get up from her seat without asking. My boyfriend recently came to terms with the fact that this is not normal behavior. His daughter was diagnosed last week.

My problem is that I am so frustrated with the situation. Even with the diagnosis, which I'm so happy to finally have a name to the problem, I'm worried things still won't get better. I've researched ODD and found many useful articles that I have forwarded to my boyfriend. When I try to discuss them with him, he either hasn't read them or doesn't want to talk about it. He is showing no signs of moving forward in helping the situation. She is with us during the week (Saturday and Sunday with her mom) and all my boyfriend does is yell at her when she acts up. My stepdaughters mom was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and has many of the same characteristics as my stepdaughter (loud, bossy, argumentative). She is very immature and is already taking care of a younger child on her own. She lives with her parents and doesn't have many responsibilities and doesn't show much interest in her daughter except for doing fun stuff.

Sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I work with 2 1/2 year olds all day and when I come home I feel like I never left work. I'm constantly worried over what is going to happen next. It's so hard to deal with all the manipulation, the lying, the attitude that comes from her. And at times she's such a sweet and pleasant kid but her attitude turns in a split second. I always worry about what I say to her in fear that she will twist my words around later. I feel so sad for her but so frustrated at the same time. And the worst part is is that no one sees it. My boyfriend knows she's defiant but thinks by telling her to 'stop it" that she will get better. My boyfriend's parents think she is the best kid ever. Has anyone had to deal with anything similar?