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Step kid driving and our new car

windee's picture

Curious..am I right or is DH? We have a New car, stepkid just turned 16, has learners permit, I told DH and skid no to driving our new car, DH left one other time and said that he would not let skid drive but when they came back skid said it was cool to drive my car. I thought skid was joking but it seemed like skid was serious after all. Tonight DH said that he was going to drive the new car and skid went with DH. Skid made a comment about wanting to drive and I shook my head no and DH said (to skid) why can't you? Skid said Windee doesn't want me driving her car......bet he does any way. Opinions PLEEZE!!! Skid is NOT a responsible person. Irritated with DH and his Disney Dad tendencies.

Teas83's picture

If you and your husband agreed ahead of time that SS wouldn't drive the car, then he's breaking his word to you by letting him and he's in the wrong.

If there was no agreement about the subject, and you co-own the car, then I'm not sure who's wrong here. Who technically owns the car? Who drives it? I'm assuming you have more than one vehicle in your household. If this new car is strictly 'yours' then SS shouldn't be driving it. Why can't he drive your husband's vehicle?

My husband and I each have our own vehicle that we each pay for independently, and we only drive our own vehicles for the most part. My SD will most definitely not ever drive my SUV because I have the final say on my vehicle. My husband can do whatever he wants with his truck.

windee's picture

We have three vehicles. The new one is the one that I drive, my old car that runs but sometimes it will not start, and then we have an old truck that we bought for DH to use until skid was old enough to get his drivers license. DH has fixed it up the way HE likes it and skid knows that he will be getting to drive it as soon as he gets his license ( which he isn't even supposed be getting because DH told him that if he got anything on his report card lower then a C he wasn't getting his permit.... RIGHT!!!! He got a few grades lower than a C!!!) Now DH IS GOING TO DRIVE MY OLD CAR THAT HAS PROBLEMS (we will be repairing) and SKID GETS TO DRIVE THE OLD TRUCK THAT HAS THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS PUT INTO IT!! Just doesn't make sense to me and I am so tired of telling DH that it doesn't make sense.

windee's picture

DH has already said that he knows that an accident or something will be inevitable, that's just how it goes, he's a boy and a teenager. :jawdrop: I am flabbergasted! So let's just give him the only new car that we have, the one that we have just made the first pymt on and let him have at it!?!

windee's picture

Right now skid is supposed to be practicing/driving his own truck slash DH vehicle right now. We bought it for skid and we are supposed to get DH a new truck when skid starts to drive. But I think (DH doesn't agree) that skid should drive my old fixed up car until he can be responsible enough to drive the truck that DH has put thousands of dollars in wheels, paint etc....in.

NotTheMami's picture

If you are on insurance of any car he drives, new or old and he has an accident it would affect you.

B22S22's picture

At least in my state, kids with learner's permits only are not insurable - they are just covered under the parents' policy until they actually have a license.

B22S22's picture

NOt to be too nosey... but do you have a sports (or at least a sporty-looking) car?

My SS's always want to drive my car (a Mercedes) and even asked if they could take it to prom.

Uh, NO. No way in hell I'm going to be left without a car and a massive hike in my car insurance because you want to show off to your girlfriends and end up wrecking it. It has those paddle shifters on the steering wheel, and like my DH says, if you don't use those correctly, that's one sure way to tear up a transmission.

Rags's picture

For sure the Skid does not drive your car without an adult (you or DH) in the car with him. After he is licensed he does not drive it alone either.

When learning to drive dad took me (and my younger brother when he was learnng) out in the family car. No problems or issues. When we got licensed we got a beater and that is what we drove. Never to borrow mom's or dad's car ... ever. At least not until we were adults.

windee's picture

I think the same thing! He should get a beater. Not an expensive vehicle that has been fixed up while my DH drives a beater!!! That's just MESSED UP! THATS what my DH wants! DH said he an just drive some old car!! :jawdrop: NO!!!

windee's picture

I would except for DH never agreed to NOT let skid drive the new car, I did. He thinks skid should be able to practice in our new car. See post below. Just drives me crazy that he has gone behind my back and let skid drive our car after I said no. Thanks for your advice!

windee's picture

:jawdrop: I am so sorry about your van!!!! I would be LIVID too!!! Wow!!!! Sounds like me. Just got the new car NEW 2014, like few days! We go on vacation driving MILES and DH pulls over and says he is going to
Let SKID DRIVE! He never agreed to NOT LET skid drive the car but he keeps telling me it's MY car do what I want & I said MANY MANY times that NO! I DO NOT want skid to drive the carb/c he just got his permit PERMIT!!!! Days around week before vacation. And DH wants skid to drive ON A DAMNED HIGHWAY IN ON NEW CAR!!!! What?!?! I said no to skid and to DH CONSTANTLY! And I know at least from what skid said that he has driven it after I said no to skid AND to DH! Pissed!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I don't like the fact that he just broke your arrangement.And of course I agree with you that it is insane to let Skid drive a brand new car if there is an old car to practice.My girl has her licence now and when she practiced and even when she had her licence at first, she banged my car several times.Thanks god it is old.Don't cave in on this one.

NotTheMami's picture

I work in insurance and a male teen driver is gonna jack up your rates like crazy regardless. Unless you look for a company where you can declare him to a crapy vehicle. The companies I've worked for you can add a permitted driver and they don't technically affect the rates until they are licensed. One company I worked for automatically added teen drivers at the new renewal when the teen turned 16. I think one of the few companies to where all drivers aren't rated on all cars if Farm Bureau (I can't ever beat the rates they offer with teen drivers on households), they don't advertise at all they aren't a bad company.

Brace yourself for the rate jump otherwise. I'd just title the crappy car under the kids name and give him his own insurance policy, where he can't drive or affect any of my cars. I've been told I'm cold hearted, but I've seen what a safe teen driver does to rates and what a teen that goes out and totals cars and gets tickets does.

I agree its shitty he just decided to let the kid drive the new car. If it had no repercussions to you it would be one thing but your name is on it and you are legally liable for any bad choices he makes.

Delilah's picture

TELL DH NO. Then take the keys and hide them. He breaks your agreement? Then he foregoes the right to an adult discussion and respect, this means you get to protect your property. I personally wouldnt care if it was dhs car also, the fact is the car is also yours and its insanity that a learner is being taught in your brand new vehicle. Unless the other car is a death trap, thats just plain ridiculous.

StepLady's picture

Despite my rep around here for being spoiled I was taught to drive by my Meme, (granny) I drove her all over, she did not like to drive and I really needed to learn. When she was longer able to drive safely but too proud to have her keys taken she sold me her car. I paid her a payment every week from my job, and was also the one to take her anywhere she wanted, dr, casino, lunch with friends, shopping. On top of paying for a crappy car. No kid needs a new car. Every kid should work for their freedom, independence etc. Only a fool lets kids drive new, put your foot down and you drive, otherwise the good car is in garage while you have keys and alarms.

windee's picture

I so agree. DH just doesn't say anything he is pretty much a quiet man. Just doesn't agree with me. And SKIDS grades are not c's and above like DH said they should be BEFORE Skid were to even get his PERMIT! But look
What he has! And DH said when we were on vacation and he pulled over to let skid drive that he need to get his (skid) hours complete so that he can take his test. I so care! He shouldn't even have his permit according to what DH threatened skid with and definitely NOT in our new car!?! Man! Thanks for listening and the advice everyone!!