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SS14 is a full blown “daddy’s boy”…Normal or something is off

Jillstepmom65's picture

SS14 has ALWAYS been needy, clingy daddy's boy BUT the last few years it's gotten REALLY bad. SS14 will follow DH around and want to be in the same room as DH.
SS14 gets SUPER upset every year (crying/Pouting) when DH and I take a ONE week vacation for our anniversary. No SS14 is not mad he's not going he's pissed he won't see DH for a week. Last year SS14 made DH call him everyother day when we went away. 

The most recent thing is how SS14 OVER reacts when DH try's to be funny. First DH is not that funny. Think dry humor.  DH can make a joke or comment and SS14 will Literally start rolling on the ground laughing so hard  tears come for 15 minutes or more. Then SS14 will say things like omg I'm never going to forget that one or the next day come over saying he was thinking about that "joke" all day at school. Like WAY over the top it makes me want to gag. Of course this makes DH do it more. 

Now SS14 himself is not funny and mostly Miserable most of the time. So it's not SS14 is just a funny kid. He's just like this with DH. So reasons SS14 thinks or acts like DH is the funniest man on the planet??

Rags's picture

Pouting and crying at 14?  Nope.  That crap gets shut down immediately each and every time it happens.   The over the top response to humor?  Same thing.  

This kid needs to find some friends and start growing up.  Your DH, needs to see that facilitating SS-14 growing up is his duty to this kid.   His duty is NOT to play the BFF to the 14yo.  Regardless of that fact that SS-14 is his BK.

Kes's picture

At 14, boys and girls should be starting to transfer alliegances from parents to peer group, it's the first stage in becoming independent adults.  It sounds rather sad to me that SS14 is clinging to his father like a much, much younger child.  Does he not have friends of his own age? Something has obviously gone very wrong with his emotional development.  

Jillstepmom65's picture

I'm thinking it's because he's so Immature. But SS14 does not seem bothered by lack of friends either. SS14 has always been Coddled by both parents

tog redux's picture

I'm confused by your blog - do you have twin stepkids, age 14? In some you talk about SD14, now SS14.

Either way, both of your step kids need mental health treatment.  No, this isn't normal for 14-year-old boy.  Sounds like he doesn't feel his attachment to DH is secure and he might lose him.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

It sounds like dad is flattered by the attention so he isn't doing what he needs to do to properly raise the boy. From what you say, he isn't a happy, well-adjusted child. No kid at this age should be so obsessed with their father. It's usually girls you read about, but it sounds like the same dynamic. I can't imagine being more into my parents than school, friends, and hobbies/sports at 14. 

Little savages's picture

I have a SS just like that. He's definitely not normal! Still does the baby voice, cries if he doesn't get his way, whines and sulks and can't take personal responsibility for anything. Clearing the table after dinner, wow- he expects a medal and applause. Cannot sleep with the lights off (but can watch YouTube for 5 hours a day with the curtains closed). So ridiculous.  I do a lot of eye rolling. My SO has probably got some issues there too, about needing to be needed and feeling too guilty to talk to him directly about being more independent or just acting his age. I dislike their dynamic. But what's interesting is that since I disengaged completely, my SO seems to call out SS' silly behaviour more often, without me saying anything. Hasn't changed the stupid  'I'm so cute and funny' act yet though.