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SS tried to break my 11 month olds neck!!!!

laughterandtears's picture

Hi everyone, I know I have not been on here in a while and I'm sorry, the summer has been so very busy with trip after trip.

Anyway, Monday morning I woke up to my 11month old, we'll call him "D" for short, all happy and ready to face the world so I get him out of his crib, which is in another room, by the way, and cuddle him while I make him his Decaf Coffee(don't ask ) and then I sat him down with his sippy and went to brush my teeth and such, which has been a morning ritual since I stopped breastfeeding.

I come out of the bedroom and find SS9 standing there holding "D" by his little baby ankles with his head bent on the floor and SS9 is pushing down on him. I scream at SS9 to stop and let him go as I go running toward him and he refuses to let him go so I have to actually grab "D's" head and body, lift him off the floor and pry SS's hands from his little ankles. I check the baby and make sure he's okay and give him to SS8 to take to his (D's) bedroom to play for a minute then I start yelling (which is unusual for me) at SS9 asking why he was doing what he was doing and why he wouldn't yet let go, I get " I don't know" OOOOHHHH, I was so angry at that point that I told SS9 to take his butt to his room until I calmed down.

Well SS8 comes out to tell me that he knows other stuff SS9 has been doing and SS9 hears him and yells that if he tells then something bad will happen to him when he goes to sleep. Well that was it for me, I took D to daycare and SS9 to the police station who in turn told me to put him in a mental institution, which is what I did and where he is now.

This is the second one he has been in in less than a year, last time he was diagnosed with ODD. This time, he is not welcomed back in my house until I KNOW that the other children will be safe. I can't send him back to his BM, she refuses to take him b/c she can't control him and doesn't want him or his brother.

Do any of you think I over-reacted? Would you have done something different? Have you ever dealt with something like this? I feel so awful for putting him there but I feel relieved at the same time.

Julie30's picture

I don't know if I would have taken SS9 to a mental institution. I would probably just make sure that he is not around SS8 & Baby "ALONE" - I would probably have BF and SS9 see a therapist and find out if it's a disability issue/craziness. Or if perhaps this child was abused by someone who hurt him. It sounds like he is jealous of your baby, perhaps he feels that your baby ruined his life and wants to take it out on him or SS8 - perhaps he blames him for not living with his mother.

I just think a mental institution is a little messed up as this child will have to live with knowing he was at sometime so crazy he had to be dropped off & placed in a place unfamiliar to him for doing something he may now regret.

Why did he go to a Mental institution before? Was he abused?

Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.

BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.

laughterandtears's picture

I can't. SS9 was in therpy until a few months ago when the 3rd counsler told us that there is no longer anything they can do as SS9 refuses to talk about anything other than his ability to "beat up" everyone. Also, aside from gluing SS9 to my side, it is impossible to make sure he is never "ALONE" with the baby and SS8. I really don't care at this point what he was thinking when the fact remains that his intent was to hurt an innocent child. Are you getting what I am sayng here? HE COULD HAVE KILLED MY BABY!!!! I don't know how to make that any more plain.
You also said:
"I just think a mental institution is a little messed up as this child will have to live with knowing he was at sometime so crazy he had to be dropped off & placed in a place unfamiliar to him for doing something he may now regret."
Am I understanding you correctly? You're saying that I should not have sought out the help he needs? I should have instead brought him back home and made arrangements to attend two funerals? Excuse me, but how do you think murderers and such are made most of the time, what kind of background do they usually come from?

Yes he was abused, for 5 years of his life, by his BM. He has tried to kill her too.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

OldTimer's picture

laughterandtears... take it easy. Julie30 was just commenting, not throwing you to the wolves.

It's hard for some people to fully grasp the situation only based on a few words of texts of people's lives. I vent all the time about my DH and most who follow me probably get the feeling that he's an ahole. But the bottom line is that I and only I really know the gravity of the situations. My DH suffers from a medical problem that frustrates me to all end. For you, you have a serious issue that you find the need to come here and feel comfortable enough to share with us... but not everyone is going to agree with everyone. Sometimes, it takes a little more prompting, more questions to fully understand a dilemma.

I really feel for your situation and I hear you, I understand your dilemma. It's a hard situation to be in. Looking at the situation from what I know, I hope that things will settle down, but unfortunately, I do feel that this is way more than just a jealousy issue, but rather a psychological personality issue.

Hang in there hun.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

laughterandtears's picture

It really felt like Julie30 was attacking me with her comments. I understand that she isn't here, dealing with this and I think thats another reason I got so upset, it doesn't seem that she has any experience with anything like what happened or understand the fact that I felt horrible enough w/o someone kicking me while I was down.

I agree with you though, it must be a psychological issue and I think he is where he will get the help he needs.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

Cruella's picture

I don't think she over reacted at all. What if she didn't get there in time to grab the baby out of SS hands?? What if he put the child in the hospital or God Forbid he killed him? It is not like he was attacking the family pet. The authorities would question you. The first person CPS would question is the Mother since she was there and wonder if you did it. Questions like why if you knew he had a problem would you allow him to be around your children. Then YOU would look like the neglectful one. No this child needs help and it sounds like the Bio's didn't want to face the truth on how sick this child is. Your children need protection from this child. I would have done the same.

laughterandtears's picture

I hadn't thought that far ahead yet. Aside from the fact that I would have been broken inside and out, childless (he is my only bio child) and no doubt deeply depressed, I would also have had to deal with other people accusing me in some form of enabling the death or serious injury of my own child. WOW. See, it was way more serious than some people understand, thank God there are more of you who do.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

Anne 8102's picture

...there's no such thing as "over-reacting." And she has the lives of TWO children at stake here. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Laughterandtears, you took the best action for both children, under the circumstances. Let us know what happens.

~ Anne ~

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." -Walter Elliot

laughterandtears's picture

and how have you been? I will keep you posted.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

OldTimer's picture

which is all the more reason you need us! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, just make sure you and your family are safe! Wink

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

laughterandtears's picture

Your right on both counts, it is very emotional and I do need you ladies. Thank you all so much for being here.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.