SS bragging about life with BM

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What do you do when your step kids brag about all the stuff they do at BM's house? My SS12 constantly talks about all the newest video games, phones, computers, toys, bikes, etc that he gets at his mom's. Its very annoying. I feel like at his age he should have the social cues to know people don't want to hear it.

The bitchy side of me would

The bitchy side of me would say: wow your mom buys you a lot of stuff, what have you done for her lately? OR Wow, your mom spends a lot of money on you; I hope she's saving up for your college, car and insurance...

The more reasonable side of me would say: oh? That's nice...Glad you had something to do over there

I wish we had a like button!

Yep. This is what my SD does

Yep. This is what my SD does once in a while and she's only 5 years old. She'll say things like "my mommy took me there" or "my mommy bought me XYZ" when we know that's not the case because her mother barely sees or talks to her, and she definitely doesn't spend money taking her places/buying her things. So it's kind of sad, really. I think she's just trying to reaffirm outloud that her mom is somehow still part of the picture and hasn't abandoned her.

Yep. This is what my SD does

Unfortunately it's not a lie,

Unfortunately it's not a lie, even though he is prone to lying about a lot of stuff. The things he brags about are usually true. BM always has a new sugar daddy that spoils SS rotten for a few weeks then he's gone

So instead of addressing it

So instead of addressing it with his daughter and actually parenting her he completely ignored her and focused on your kids? Well done DH. I'm as surprised as you that she's gone.

"before SD was PAS" was what

"before SD was PAS" was what she wrote. Maybe if he spent more time with her and addressed the issues that she was having instead of ignoring her there would not have been allegations or the drama that ensued.

SS is trying to manipulate

SS is trying to manipulate you and DH to get him all that stuff he thinks if you hear how BM spoils him you will try and beat it....

I would simply say: Well if it's so much fun at BM's why are you here.... go back...

LOL! I don't think he's

LOL!
I don't think he's trying to manipulate us to get what he wants. He knows that doesn't happen at our house. I'm thinking he wants to "one-up" us as he does this to everyone. He has to have the newest and best stuff...

I will add to this and say

I will add to this and say the SS5 does this and he does it because he's been conditioned by BM to ask for more stuff such as when we bought a WiiU for all of us, SS ran back and told BM he got it so she ran out and got one too just to make the households "even". Truthfully she is constantly worried he will like our house more than hers and one day he will decide he doesn't want to go over there so she tries to make it to where he can have all of the fun stuff we have over at her house too. So after four years of this kind of conditioning, SS will sometimes come home and try it on us. Sorry kid, this house runs on a budget not a competition of Love with your Mom.

My SSs would do this as well.

My SSs would do this as well. BM bought them everything under the sun (except socks without holes in them! Ha ha ha!) and took them all over the world. My DH & I still haven't been to Europe, & my SSs have each been twice (4 separate trips with BM over about 10 years,) plus Hawaii. They would constantly talk about those things to us and our DS. Not only that, at Christmastime, after opening gifts at our house, they would brag about all the gifts they either were yet to open or had opened (depending on that year's schedule) back home. We would just say, "that's nice" to whatever it was & move on. It was VERY irritating. For us, it seemed to be best if we didn't make a big deal about it & just acknowledged whatever they said & moved on.

We tried the "that's nice"

We tried the "that's nice" and he still goes on and on...
When do kids understand social etiquette? It's just so annoying!!

I did not recognize it at all

I did not recognize it at all from my SS other than to tell him I was not interested in video games, etc... I told him I was interested in things that HE had actually done and what he thought about elements of real life and if he could not actually have a real life I wasn't interested in hearing about it.

I asked about the things he did when on SpermLand visitation, the things he did with his BioDad, his 3 younger SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas, and his SpermGrandParents but as soon as the words "video games" came out of his mouth I told him I wasn't interested in hearing about that stuff and to tell me about activities that they actually did together. There wasn't for him to share except for a rare meal together and an occasional trip to the SpermGP's time share.

Interestingly he could go on for hours and hours about things that we did as a family and he would try to get the SpermClan to actually do stuff together... mostly unsuccessfully.

When SS was young it was the

When SS was young it was the SpermIdiot that had all of the latest and greatest video games, collector fantasy card games, etc..... It was pretty much all SS talked about or that he wanted to do.

WE never engaged in that activity and when SS wanted to go on, and on, and on about it I always told him "I don't care about video games or someone else's imagination... tell me what you did actually have done and what is in your mind and imagination."

Now at 24yo all SS talks about as far as his childhood is concerned are the camping trips we took as a family, hiking, having "Johnny Quest" adventures climbing rocks, hunting for fossils, traveling and experiencing things in real life. He can't tell one story about countless hours spent manipulating a game controller in the SpermIdiots nasty house in front of several very large screen televisions. Oh, SS remembers the nasty toxic garbage filled house, no food, dirty clothes, no baths, etc... but not one specific memory about gaming with the SpermIdiot.

Now as an adult SS is writing a book. He is creating from his own imagination. He is working on his book in between serving successfully in the USAF, working out, spending time with his friends, visiting with his mom and I and my branch of is family. His memories are of our activities as a family and he is making more memories for himself in his own life and with very close relationships with his mom and I, his cousins (my brother's kids), and my parents.

We are his memories and an integral part of his real and adult life while the SpermClan are very little to him at all including not being much of his childhood memories.

This still goes on with our

This still goes on with our skids but I know that underneath it is an attempt for one up on us! BM has had more boyfriends/husbands than I have had hot dinners and the latest guy is always the "one" and the bragging starts again. We find it best to say "oh that's nice" and change the topic. It is a sad way for these kids to cope with continuing upheaval at home. Now......it has taken me eight years to reach a sense of pity for them. I still hate BM so much but the skids? They have to spend half their time with her.....now that's something to be pitied.

I'm sometimes petty, but to

I'm sometimes petty, but to be honest in the past what I have done is things like, "Wow. Well I am glad we don't need those things here to have a good life. We aren't materialistic like that." Or, "Wow. Well we don't have a lot of help paying bills at this house and have to use part of what we make here to help support other people, so we can't do that here." Just petty replies like that is what I have done.

SS is now in 7th grade. To be honest, he hasn't really been overly comparative about the two houses for about 2 years now, so I would say that particular habit stopped around age 11 or so. I am not sure WHY it stopped, as in maturity or if for some other reason, but he doesn't make comments like that anymore.

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SS bragging about life with BM