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Spoke wayyyy too soon (LONG)

omgsaveme's picture

I am just like wow right now lol. So DH and I have done wonderfully since I stopped talking about SD21 and disengaged. I even posted today in response to another thread about how great things were going and boy did I shoot myself in the foot.

So months ago I told DH that we would help SD when her and bf got a place, never figured out a set amount but just said we would help, which I had no problems doing. So today DH tells me "Oh SD is moving into her place in like a week and I told her I would give her the money for furniture" So I said at first I didnt even want to hear it and he kept going so we opened that discussion and I told him, since when is it that HE decides what hes doing with our money. He tells me he told her to give him a total when she goes to the furniture store and let him know ? LIke WTF ??? So we are going to furnish her whole house, 2 rooms, a living room set, what ? So I get pissed cause this is him once again, excluding ME from it and discussing stuff between the two of them. I told him he should have said "let me and omgsaveme talk and we will see what we can do". He tells me Im making a big deal out of nothing .

I also brought up why he thinks I should leave the house when his daughter comes over being the first option. I said this is my house dont I have a right to be comfortable, he then says the same thing to me.

So this is where it gets really bad, I decided it was time to have the discussion "I have disengaged, blah blah, quoted some things from here like I feel like you separate us, you don't set boundaries, you don't make it a point that we are a united front, you go behind my back and sneak, Kids are your responsibility, your marriage is a priority, you dont give me the respect I should have when it comes to her, blah blah" So the whole time Im talking hes looking right through me and then when I finish he says ok. Thats it no lets hash it out lets work on it or nothing.SO then I told him we just need to separate finances and split bills down the middle. Things will never change, NEVER.So I told him this is how it will have to be for us to stay married. I will continue disengaged, I will live life as I was which was beautiful but as soon as we talk about her its a fight.I am not nor will I ever be a priority to him, neither will our marriage. I will have to accept that and live my life. The next step will be him leaving the house, cause I dont know how long I can keep going with this.