Specialty Attorney
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Am I the only one to think there needs to a separate specialty for attorneys who deal exclusively with stepfamilies? Like corporate law, real estate law, blended family law...
SO I ask all my fellow SMs, SFs, BMs, & BFs - If there was an attorney who specialized & dealt strictly with stepfamily issues like those posted all over this board, would you be more willing to cough up the $$$ for that attorney or a divorce or general practice attorney?
What kind of attorneys have you guys hired? Do they have a specialty?
My brain is on fire this morning!
GoldenTiger, I would
GoldenTiger, I would ABSOLUTELY be in full support of having attorneys that specialize in "blended family law". As a matter of fact, I'm an attorney (New York) and I'm also in a blended family.
I see what my BF went through with his divorce (it took 3 years because his ex/BM wanted more $$$) and I generally saw two major problems:
1. New York laws regarding child support are so antiquated - the entire CS system needs a complete overhaul. NY allows a BM to sit home & collect CS while being intentionally unemployed/underemployed - even in a 50/50 custody situation!!! The more $$ the NCP makes, the better it is for the BM's (here in NY, anyway).
2. Attorneys who don't want to "buck the system" and go to trial to fight for their client, so they just encourage the client to give in and "settle" just to get the divorce overwith & move on with their lives (and of course, the attorney wants to get PAID for doing as little work as possible).
The attorney my BF hired for his divorce was a "nice older woman", but in the end of the day, she didn't have the "balls" that my BF needed in a good attorney to fight for his rights & for what's fair. She kept telling him:
"Well, unfortunately, here in NY if you go to trial, the judge will award BM this amount of $$ or MORE in CS because they have to follow the NYS Child Support Guidelines and you will be forced to pay her all of this, even though the kids live with you 50% of the time...because BM doesn't work very much."
I still cannot comprehend why it isn't BOTH parents LEGAL OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT their kids - financially, emotionally, everything!!!
New York especially is a very "pro-BM" state regarding CS - and until the men start going to their legislators to put pressure on them to CHANGE the laws, that's the way it'll stay.
I also wanted to note that I read the Judge's decision in a very important child support case between 2 parents, and the father had 50/50 custody, paid for everything else for skids (similar to my BF) and it was actually WRITTEN in the Judge's decision basically that "until the legislature changes the laws about this issue, I am bound to follow what the law says I must do - we cannot MAKE the laws, we can only follow the laws in rendering our decisions" (this, of course, is my informal summary, not the decision verbatim).
SO THIS JUDGE IS ACTUALLY TELLING THE NCP'S OUT THERE TO DO SOMETHING...FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS...CHANGE THE LAWS!!! And we will then be able to have the tools to help you in these unfair situations...
Have you considered creating
Have you considered creating the niche specialty for yourself as an attorney?
I was seriously asking if I was the only one wanting this. Watching DH go through his woes & I myself suffering silently (usually, lol) along side him, have tried desperately to find someone who deals with a lot of these cases. Guess what? We couldn't find anyone.
I am a physician with many years of education & training, but with the current state of the medical field & the big business mentality that's taken over, I have already left medicine once. Don't even get me started on the cattle herding & insurance forced sub-standard care! I have since returned to practicing, but daydream about actually doing something that matters & makes a difference.
I have more than once considered going to law school & afterwards focusing on the areas that interest me & where I have a passion about what I am doing. Not the money so much as personal satisfaction that I am making a difference is what fuels this fantasy.
So have you considered making this part of law an area of focus for yourself? Maybe you could start a revolution or innovate a new specialty. I'd cheer you on!
"It only matters if I care!"
"but daydream about actually
"but daydream about actually doing something that matters & makes a difference."
GoldenTiger, you ARE making a difference. I don't know many doctors, but if they are like what you have described then you are needed. People like you are needed in that field. People that can be humble and caring and thoughtful of their patients. Not people that only look at their patients as a paycheck. So don't doubt for one minute that you are making a difference.
Quite frankly, if you decided to become a lawyer, I'm pretty sure I would hire you.
I really wish that lawyers specialized like you suggested. And maybe came at a lower fee because Red would surely not be able to afford them pretty much ever.
"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown