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SO's family and BM

Crazymommaof4's picture

I've been with my Bf almost a yr and a half we decided to get married next year and have informed our family. His family talks bad about his ex and really I agree with them she is a piece of sh*t never doing her motherly duties. However his stepmom recently commented on how good a pic was of his ex on Facebook which to me only encourages the BM to try to cause problems between me and my Bf am I wrong in thinking this? Since her daughter 6 informed her we were getting married things have been harder idk if she told her daughter she didn't have to act right or what now granted the kid lives with me and my bf and has since we moved in together last feb. so that's why I feel I'm beginning to dislike his step mom.

sbm014's picture

It encourages but at the same time BM's actions are ultimately hers. I would think it would be more or less the issue you two are getting married not the fact his SM posted something on a photo.

My SO's dad still talks to BM and even takes days to see her eldest son (not SO's) and SS and has day outs with them...which he honestly tries to stay out of the drama and states when SO is home we are busy and sometimes he doesn't want to wait 3 weeks to see his grandson. I somewhat see his point but going behind our back is still a stab. He hates BM though and like I said really just wants to be the best grandad possibly as his other grandson lives right down the street and they baby sit all the time.

His stepmom on the other hand still text BM and has sit infront of me and told me she is shit and all this stuff - yet again his SM will initiate text. She has also blatantly defended BM to me when I was trying to calm myself down from a situation trying to not attack BM (SS event and SO was offshore) stating that "BM didn't ask for this life. BM just feels threatened and I needed to understand from her side. I needed to know that BM is still recovering from heartbreak and to tread lightly" This was not only from his SM but his SM's sister. Mind you I pretty much went said by to SS and left as it was complete bullshit and they didn't know what happened nor do they have the right to tell me how to parent when SO and I have discussed my role to the greatest extent.

Mind you his stepmom still tries to be cordial with me which feels like a back stab...but his dad and I are slowly working towards liking each other.

So, in some feel good that just because she commented that BM had a good picture that is the least of your worries. BM is probably less thinking about that comment and more about the fact someone she had a bond with and has a kid with has now shown the ultimate sign of moving on and that her daughter will officially have a stepmother.

my.kids.mom's picture

What you CAN be sure of is that future MIL will play both sides. Don't ever badmouth the bm to her because she will likely repeat it to the bm. And expect your future MIL to badmouth you to the bm, which is probably what she's already doing. I would remain very neutral and be only cordial when necessary. Don't get sucked into the drama.

Crazymommaof4's picture

Yes they are all friends on Facebook ... I see this a lot which is crazy when I previously divorced me and my family cut ties it's a package deal! My ex doesn't contact me to even see his kids but the once time he did call my SO threw a fit but his two Ex's call cause there is kids with both of them. I get along with the one she's older and remarried and acts adult like but the other is in her 20's and acts like highschool drama queen