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sorry in advance if this is too gross, i really need help!

Buzybee82's picture

ok... so we're in the process of potty training DD2, i think she's doing great for only being 2yrs 2months old. She basically goes #1&2 in the potty all the time when we are in a house, some time when we're in public. basically the only time she is in diapers is when we go out to the store or dinner off errands in the car, and sleeping. I need help figuring out those parts, how to get her potty trained through nap and bed time and leaving the house are my road blocks right now. And here's the gross part: sometimes when it's bed time or nap time and she goes #2 she takes off her diaper with the poo in it and throws it on the floor!!!! there have even been a couple times that she smeared the poo all over the crib, blankets, her!!!! so this has happened about 5 times now! the smearing thing only happened twice. now she's taking her poopy diaper off and throwing it on the floor without smearing the poo around. yes, when i put her to bed she has pants on, but through the potty training process we've taught her how to take them off.
here's the other part, not sure how much this plays into this but her step sister (10.5 yrs old) still poops in her pants. it's not medical, she controls it when she wants to. but dd2 knows about it, sd whines and pouts when we tell her to go to the bathroom. sd has to clean her panties, and dd knows about that too. a few times after dd went poo in her diaper she wouldn't let me change her and told me "sis-ee poo poo pants!"
so... how gross is this? how normal is this? how is sd10 affecting dd2 potty training process? what do we do about her taking off diaper? we both agree she's not ready for a big girl bed yet, she wouldn't ever sleep and would just play in her room. we try to have her go poo before its bed or nap time, but the timing isn't always right. how do you potty train through sleep time? thank you parents for your help!

Orange County Ca's picture

Continue what you're doing. It can be frustrating especially with a ten year old setting an example. What's the problem with her? Did the divorce set this off?

cant win for losin's picture

i have heard of people putting the diapers on backwards so the kid can't undo the straps. i have also heard of parents duck taping the diaper so the kid can't pull the diaper off.

DeeDeeTX's picture

I'm probably not much help, but after about the third time of DS taking his diaper off, smearing it on the walls, carpet, etc. and me having to disinfect and clean EVERYTHING I just hauled off and beat his butt. I was having a terrible day, was in a hurry to get out the door for an appointment, open my son's room, and he is covered in shit...yeah, he got a major spanking.

I know you're not supposed to do that, I know all the experts say you are damaging the child for life, etc. but guess what? He never did it again.

As far as potty training during nap and nighttime, I don't remember doing anything special. I just took their diapers off, gave them a talk about not going in their pants, and hoped for the best. I'd do it a few days, and if it just seemed they weren't getting it, I put their diapers back on for another month or so and tried again.

Sometimes young kids really aren't developmentally able to hold it during naps and night time, so if it doesn't seem they are getting it, that's why I would back off and just wait till they are older.

Buzybee82's picture

her parents were never married, and they split before she was 2. they were on again off again when bm magically became pregnant... my dh parents had $ so she did everything she could to trap him. she only has kids for $, has another with a different guy now. sd has serious issues... not quite sure what's wrong with her. it's nothing medical (possibly adhd) mainly just the result of a skeeze bag raising her. she has been pooping her pants forever. i first met sd when she was 2, dh and I started dating when she was 3. i remember wishing at her 5th b-day this would be the year she stops, then her 6th, 7th, and since I've given up. she's never done it at school, or day camp, or anywhere else she doesn't want to. when she's with us for long chunks of time she stops. counselor said it's a control thing... something she can have full control over. sd hates her mom and wishes she could live with us, but her skeezy bm won't let that happen cuz then she would loose her income and control over my dh. dh has given up completely on sd pooping her pants! does nothing about it! we've tried everything over the years and nothing seems to change it. honestly i think we need to put her in diapers! if she wants to keep doing it then we should treat her like a baby. dh says we shouldn't EVER embarrass her for doing it. I'm sorry, but the girl CAN control it! we've had all doctor testing done and they all agree there is no medical reason for it at all! if she couldn't control it then how has she NEVER done it at school? obviously she can hold it. she can tell us exactly when she went in her pants. she used to say she just didn't want to stop playing, now i think she's just lazy and does it for attention. she will sit in it until someone gives her the attention she's looking for and say something to get about it... then she makes damn sure it's a huge long drawn out process that everyone knows about when she's cleaning it up! had anyone else experienced this and got through it? if so how? what worked? this girl has puburity right around the corner!!! i can't imagine what its going to be like once she starts her period! sick! as is we have to force her to shower and clean herself!

aha duct taping, that's freakin hilarious! i love three putting it in backwards idea!

realitycheckmom's picture

Try making DD sit on the potty before naps and bedtime. You can also time cutting off liquids before naps and bedtime.

I have the opposite problem, DD3 was almost completely potty trained and only had accidents when out because she wouldn't use regular toilets now the only time she let's you know she has to go is when we are not at home. She is good at my moms or any public place. At home she goes in her pullups. Ugh. She has issues not being my baby any more.

I'm surprised you can't use the pooping as a reason to change custody. It's not about what BM wants but what is best for SD.

luchay's picture

Don't even worry about night and naptime training until she is clean and dry the majority of the time when she wakes up. She is still very young so the nerve pathways are still developing and it can take some time (often over 3) until kids are fully "feeling" that they need to go, so it is obviously even harder at night when they are asleep - focus on getting her through the awake times even when out etc, and worry about the night training when the time is right.

As for the removing the poohey nappy - normal - and actually GREAT! She hates the feeling of it and wants it gone. You need to keep reinforcing to her that it is bad to remove the nappy herself when it is dirty but to come and tell you she needs changing straight away to get rid of the yucky pooh.

I don't think that the SD's issues play a part, having had 4 daughters they have all done this (even the smearing it over the cot - OMG gross and vomit!) THAT part she needs to be told NEVER to do again LOL

Buzybee82's picture

mommabird... you have 1 step kid? boy of girl? 10 years old?
what the hell is up with all these kids pooping them selves? what does the counselor say about it?
hustontxstepmom... your dh is ok with the diapers? how did you come to that agreement?
i would LOVE to put sd in diapers! just last weekend i found 3 pairs of panties hidden in her room with poop turds still in them!!! ya, seriously, like full on turds in the panties stashed away under some dirty clothes! not the first time we've discovered spoiled panties, but yes the first time there were actual turds still in them! so i made her clean them up! days old poop doesn't come off easy. of course she was whining and poutting... wanting her daddy to see how miserable she is cleaning them! she had to go outside, use the hose and a bucket, clean then, and wash them in the washer. and guess what?! she left them there for ME 38wks prego with a 2yr old to finish her laundry!!! so, i didn't! i put them in a garbage bag fresh out of the washer in her room! they've been sitting in there for a month now, with her favorite footie jammies! i hope they grow mold and she has to throw them away!(her jammies) maybe, just maybe she'll get the point then?! but i highly doubt it!

unwillingparticipant's picture

Im no child-rearing expert but my sister in law was potty training her 2 year old and whenever she had an accident, she made dd2 clean it up. It seemed to work.

dledden's picture

OMG, i'm glad i'm not the only one with a SKID who shits himself! His father won't do shit about it. he shit himself at the swim club last week and then at the beach with me...twice in one month. he's 8 years old! when i showed dad the dirty swim trunks you know what he said? "stop embarrassing his kid in front of evryone" (my kids were in the kitchen but not paying much attention) response was FUCK YOU, maybe he NEEDS to be embarrassed a little bit so he'll stop doing this!!! That was the end of conversation. I'm not cleaning up the ASS of a kid that aint mine....EVER! when the kid shits himself next year in school, i'm telling the school "dont' call me, you call DAD, make him LEAVE to the school with clean clothes, and clean his own kids ass"....filthy and disgusting and NO excuse for it!!!!

Buzybee82's picture

mommabird & dieden...
omg i can not believe how many people on here have the same issue! I'm going to start a new post right now for all of us dealing with skids that poop themselves... look for it, my goal is we can all help each other...