So what will it take to make me happy???
When I get mad at hubby for Skid related things, I stop and think what would I do if I were in the situation? Most of the time I think that I would probably do exactly what he is doing... so why I am always annoyed?? For instance:
I get annoyed because he has no set visitation with Skids, so they basically show up whenever they call or whenever BM needs a babysitter. I rarely know when they are coming and get annoyed when I come home and they are there. But what do I expect my hubby to do, dial me right up and inform me of every stupid little conversation and/or plan he has with skids or BM? How annoying that would be for him! So I just keep being annoyed rather than say anything.
I get annoyed that he will fight with BM, tell her no when she asks for money, but then feel guilty about his kids "going without" and he'll cave in. But what do I expect? That he let his kids go to school with sneakers that are falling apart and pants that are two sizes too small? So I just keep being annoyed rather than say anything.
I get annoyed that when Skids are at our house, I feel like the third wheel. But what do I expect? Hubby only gets to see SS once a week or so (SD even less), and if it were my kids, I would want to spend as much time with them as well. So I just keep being annoyed rather than say anything.
I get annoyed that hubby made idiodic choices when he was young and stupid and because of these choices, we have to deal with psycho BMs and nonsense. But what do I expect?? It is what it is, not like we can change our past. So I just keep being annoyed rather than say anything.
I'm sure I'm leaving alot of annoyances out, but ya'll get the point. As I sit here and type all of this, I really start to wonder if I am just a selfish bitch? Seriously, What in gawd's name WILL it take to make me happy?
No advice but don't feel
No advice but don't feel alone. I'm annoyed too }:) You're not alone.
I love it if one skid went to
I love it if one skid went to live full time with BM. And then perhaps they could move far away & I'd never see either one again. Her favorite twin of course...her trained lookout that she bought a muscle car for (although he's 14) so he'd have something to look forward to (?). Yeah, a 1970 muscle car with no anti-brakes, or air bags.
I would love a 1970's muscle
I would love a 1970's muscle car!!! And you don't need air bags in those types of cars.. They were made of steel and theres lots of car.. not these compact cars made of plastic we have now.. Sorry st, classic cars are def one of my weaknesses in life!!
I also feel like I could have
I also feel like I could have written your post. However, I have not married SO because of all of the BS. I have no answer for you, however I choose to believe that you are not being selfish, because if you are, so am I. I hope you figure it all out. I wish you well. You are definitely not alone in your feelings.
If you were really a selfish
If you were really a selfish bitch you wouldn't have the ability to put yourself in your husbands shoes and empathise with his feelings. Your post is really impressive and insightful and I think that sometimes understanding your and your partners frustration can actually help put it into perspective, so you can work out what you can (reluctantly) accept and what you need to try and change. It's like that famous quote "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference"!
Wow, what a great post. I am
Wow, what a great post. I am also frustrated with FDH that he married a dumba$$ just because he knocked her up (they were engaged beforehand and he wanted to break up with her till she told him she was pregnant). Imagine if he had focused on his career and gotten rid of her when he wanted to instead of waiting for her to do it 15 years later (he is very faithful, and honors his commitments). He could have met me and not had all of her bull crap dragging him down. Maybe he would have lived happily ever after with a different woman. Who knows. I need to put myself in his place. He truly feels like he is stuck in the middle and is super stressed out. I wish that I could be as accepting as you are, Daizy. I just cannot get over feeling like I am getting screwed over. I guess that makes me selfish. You seem very secure and self-assured.
I get annoyed at the exact
I get annoyed at the exact same thing - especially the one about making stupid decisions when they were younger.
I hope this will be the best form of sex ed my bk's will have - be safe or you will end up with a psycho in your life FOREVER!!!!! And even if you get lucky and your kid isn't insane like ss, you will still have to give that PSYCHO all your money FOREVER!!!!!
I joke about it all the time, but I really do think that they should have to show a year's worth of child support bills to teenagers in high school as a warning!! - Teenagers might not get responsibility or consequences, but they understand money! (well, if you raise your kids right)!
Loved the post - I often feel the same. What would make me happy because I doubt I would do anything differently... so what do i have to complain about... oh so much stuff!!