Pleaseeee someone offer insight on this, I am so lost. For starters, I don't have SO come to my house when he has his children anymore (long story), so we spend time when SO gives the BM the kids, she is a regular every other weekend and wednesday overnight. I told him to give her more time (she's nuts but she also deserves it because she has shown up nonstop for 2 yrs now, she doesn't have the resources to fight him in court), the children are not well behaved and I have my own offspring to protect.
SO told me last week that he gave his BM Monday and Tuesday overnights instead of the Wednesday night now. SS(8) has sport practices Tuesdays, now I knew he gave her the Tuesday and she usually decides NOT to take SS to sporting practices, it's about a 60/40 chance... so he just told me that he still has SS but BM picked up SD. It DRIVES ME CRAZY that he always bails BM out. I feel that it is her responsibilty to take SS to his commitments on her time. If it is her weekend and SS has anything sports related, SO will go pick up SS if she says she will not take him. I feel that SS has to take that up with his BM and SO must stop bailing her out. That is SS mother and he must take it up with her, whether she chooses to disappoint him or not. BM desparately wants SO back, they have been apart for 3.5 yrs.. we have been together for 1.5. He agreed to stop bailing her out, but since he voluntarily gave her this Tuesday night.... is it okay that he still has SS, since he wants to take him to practice? BUT that ruins our night, we barely get any time anyways. Chances are, he will not take SS over to BM's house after practice and even if he does, it'll be so late. I feel like sports and bailing BM out is coming before the relationship. If we have a baby, he will miss our baby's things because he's so busy bailing her out. BUT Since he voluntarily gave her this tuesday, do the "bail out" rules not apply? And how can you just take one kid but not the other?
I feel that it is BM's responsibilty on her alloted time to take children to her commitments, not his to work around her not wanting to do her motherly duties.. PLEASE anyone give me an opinion. I haven't opened my mouth yet because I don't want this to turn into a "whats best for SS" situation is that whoever takes him takes him.. also SS is a brat who doesn't appreciate anything and doesn't really care that much to go or not go, hell if it were up to SS he would have chosen to go with BM. Is it different because he chose to give her the Tuesday's? It's like there are stipulations to giving her the kid.. sure you can just have 1.. but that leaves us again, no time together.. On CO Wednesday's and her weekends, he definitely SHOULD not bail her out and I would be livid but I am treading this one lightly.
SORRY so long.. just so angry