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jojo68's picture

SD17 almost 18 moved out for a brief period to go live with her friend...unfortunately didn't last but maybe a month. When she returned to our home, she decided that the room and bathroom that she has been hers for most of her life she decided she didn't want to sleep there or use that bathroom anymore. So DH fixed up the spare room. It isn't very comfortable..kinda cold in the winter and hot in the summer. The mattress is uncomfortable, no cable TV connection, ect... The other room that she used previously was great and had its own bathroom. I am baffled at why she doesn't want the room that she lived in for 17 years anymore. :? :? :? :? :? :?
Where my frustration comes in she wants to share the master bathroom that DH and I share. I told DH I was not cool with that. At first I really never noticed that she was bothering anything but last week a bunch of my personal items went missing...lotion, body spray, a jar of $40 eye cream (WTF would she use old lady eye cream),used deodorant :sick: and couple other things. I got pretty upset because she never even asked me...she went shopping on my vanity and never said anything to me about it although she did tell DH that she was "borrowing" my things because he didn't buy her anything and she needed these things (which I never saw again). DH told her not to take my things anymore. So yesterday I come in to the bathroom after I came home from work and both of our vanities had been organized and rearranged but I didn't notice anything missing but I'm not really sure :? :? :? :? :? :? :? I had had enough and I didn't say anything to DH because I know that he sees it as SD doing a good dead and cleaning the bathroom (although only the vanities had been touched not any other cleaning) but that is not how I see it ( I honestly feel violated by it). I just cleared out all my things that I used to sit out (out of convenience) and put them away so now nothing is on the vanity. I'm sorry but those are my very personal things and I don't want other people getting into my things call me selfish or whatever but that is how I feel.
SD is such a weirdo that I never know what to think. I admit I always think the worst which is that she is letting me know that she thinks she I am such an insignificant POS that she can do whatever she wants without consequence. I can't say anything to her because she threatens suicide lately and she is such a mental case I think sometimes that it might happen.
I told DH he needs to get her to counseling. Clearly she doesn't act normal and I actually thinks he sees that because he agrees but I honestly don't think anything will come of the counseling because she will refuse to go.

fairyo's picture

This is weird I agree-reclaim your own space- get a lock fitted on the bathroom door and don't give her a key. Make a leaving plan so that she gets a place and a life of her own.

notarelative's picture

If SD doesn’t want to use her previous bathroom her choice should be the gas station down the street, not the master bath. Her dad should have stopped this nonsense when it started. There is a room with a bath available to her. Dad needs to tell her to stay out of the master bath.

Buy a lock box for your items.

Totheend12345's picture

I understand your frustration. I think the adults bedroom and bathroom is off limits. Parents need their own untouched space.

DH lets SD use ours, which at 1st didn't bug me but now it does.

I am debating on tell DH that I don't like SD using our bathroom. We have three bathrooms in our house.

The other two have showers, and one even has a tub. Both clean, working conditiion, honestly water is pressure is better in those two. But SD is determined to use ours. I understand how you feel. SD is my size and likes to looks thru my clothes, which at 1st didn't bug me but now it does. I am missing my name brand stuff, nike hoodie, under armour jacket, north face items. I check SD room when she leaves and they are gone, I guess she is taking them home.

Its not selfish to want to keep your own things.