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Skids coming back soon

holly5692's picture

It's so tough with this pandemic stuff, trying to make proper parenting judgement calls. Everyone's reaction and level of concern is different. At first, we were allowing skids to keep coming. My job put me in direct contact with the public, and although I was careful, there was still some risk involved. We were up front with BM about that risk and she was unconcerned, which we thought was weird. I eventually took voluntary leave because my oldest has health issues and I just wasn't comfortable with that risk. At that time, we said no more kids coming and going (and that included my own kids' visits with their dads). Everyone understood though. We also found out that BM's quarantine of herself and her kids was not as great as we had been led to believe. So that was a good call on our part to put the kabosh on visits in my opinion.

I've just begun loosening up on letting my kids begin visitations with their dads again. They've been keeping themselves quarantined for a proper length of time now, and everyone was getting a little antsy to see each other.

It would appear that now BM is for real actually quarantining too. But not for the sake of keeping her kids healthy, or other members of their family healthy. Not so her kids can visit their dad. Nope none of that.

For her boyfriend. Her new boyfriend. And his parents. And of course, now that the stay at home order in our state is beginning to loosen up and is scheduled to be over in less than two weeks.

And I know this is a big thing that pisses my ss15 off. She always chooses a man over the kids. She's always given him a hard time about video games and it's a big point of contention between them. Well, new boyfriend is a gamer, so now she's a gamer too. That's just one example. 

On some levels, I can't entirely blame her. She comes from a cult-ish religious background that requires subservience to men. She probably doesn't see her worth without a man in her life. Which makes her an excellent rolemodel for her 13 year old daughter. All of these issues and she's bound and determined to put a happy face sticker on everything, pretend nothing is wrong or worthy of closer inspection.

So anyways. All of that to say that I think the skids will be coming back again soon. I've done a lot of reflecting on everything while they were away. But I also enjoyed the peace without them here. So I'm not ready. I'm still just not ready.

Maplesugar's picture

We have them 50% of the time and never ready for them to return. Every other month they are here EVERY weekend. DH made the most ridiculous schedule, their BM makes out bc she remarried quickly and has him be the parent. 3years til the youngest can possibly launch, and that is doubtful. I'll be 51 then, my good years just wasting away.

So many of us feel your pain.

holly5692's picture

Thank you for identifying. I'm feeling some kind of way about it. I've even reached out to other step parents that I know in real life. It's just feeling overwhelming to me right now. Do you at least have things to do when the skid comes over to keep you otherwise too occupied to engage much?

DPW's picture

After I tried living the "Happy Blended Family" life without success, I just simply started doing my own thing when skid came to visit -  shopping, errands, hanging out with friends, gym, hikes, etc... 

Iamwoman's picture

My skids will be back this weekend too. We haven't seen them since February. It's been nice.

I'm not ready either, but then again, who ever IS ready for the type of chaos, invasion, drama, and sickening behavior that step-life seems to bring?

Meh. It is what it is.