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skids and college tuition

bug3211's picture

I just found out DH plans to pay for college for ss. We were discussing the 18 year old who moved out because she didn't like her parents rules and is now suing them for expenses including college tuition. My bio worked full time for a year and paid cash for his first year of college. He borrowed the rest for the remaining three years so he did it completely on his own. When child support ends it will be replaced by tuition unless ss decides to join the military. DH is going to retire three years after ss turns 18 and I was hoping to save more money for retirement. I contribute 1/3 of the household income and we have all our money combined so 1/3 of ss's college tuition will be from me even though I didn't pay my own bios college. Just wondering how many of your DH's plan on footing the bill for college? DH also indicated that he would buy ss a car. DH doesn't do much for his adult daughter and she dropped out of school and didn't go to college, but ss is different. I really think DH plays favorites. DH's son passed away and ss was born to replace a lost child. Before I came into the picture ss was very spoiled with every material thing you could think of. I wouldn't put it past DH to buy ss a house when he's an adult. Just wondering when it is all going to end. Apparently 18 isn't the light at the end of the tunnel.

bug3211's picture

I do agree that if the kid doesn't have a financial stake in the education themselves they don't do as well and take it for granted. DH's parents paid for him to go to school right out of high school. DH partied and flunked out. DH later went back to school and paid for it himself as an adult and he graduated.

Orange County Ca's picture

I paid zero for my SD college except when she screwed up a grant application and I sent her $40 a month in a grocery gift card for maybe 5 months. She's doing acceptably in her chosen career.

The lady above was right. My wife's sisters kids didn't pay a penny for college and are not doing anything related to their degrees. Business Management.

My wife's brothers kid paid his own way through and is now successfully following a career in his area of study. Physical therapy.

As suggested above but taking it further tell your husband that you want all your share of savings and all future income of yours will remain under your control so none of it goes to this misguided venture. Feel free to tell him why and buy this book linked below for him:

http://www.amazon.com/Is-College-Worth-Secretary-Education/dp/1595552790

Disneyfan's picture

My parents paid for my sister and I to attend a private HBCU in NC. I pay for my son to attend a private HBCU in Virginia (he graduates on Mother's Day!!!!). My sister and BIL will do the same for their four kids.

When DS first to school, I made it clear that I would not pay for Cs or withdrawals. He was informed that he would have to reimburse me for any grades less than a B. His lowest grade in four years has been a B.

DF refuses to spend one dime for his kids to attend college. SS is six months older than DS. SS has always made sly remarks about my son going away to school while he was stuck here at a CUNY school (which he flunked out of) and working in a fast food place. His parents refused to pay for anything. His mom helped him with complete the financial aid forms but that was it.
SS ended up dropping out and working full-time at the burger place for a few years. Last fall he enrolled in a nursing program (again on his own dime). DF has a big issues with me paying for my son's education. There isn't a thing he can do about it. We do not combine our finances and that expense hasn't had a negative impact on our household.

As a step parent I refuse to pay for my SKs to attend college. Whatever decision their parents make is up to them. R

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

We pay 100% of everything for my two stepsons. Cars, college, clothes, books, you name it, we pay it. Am I thrilled with this? Not really. Do I think my stepson's should do more? Yup I sure do. I expect the same when my son turns 18 and goes to college.

It is his son, and if he wants to pay for his son's college and can afford it, I don't see a problem with it. You cannot compare what your son does to what his son does (or will do).