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sick skids... vent

lil_lady's picture

Truly just a vent but does BM text your SO/DH/FDH when the kids get sick,.. do something exciting or just for the most unnecessary crap ever?!

Despite SO having got into a very regular routine of only contacting BM on exchange days via email BM has texted him twice in the last 4 days to let him know when SS/SD got sick and exactly what they where doing to make her think they where sick. Then last week she phoned him he ignored it then she called me (we where on the phone together). SO asked me to answer since we thought something was serious wrong... BM wanted to know where SD's goggles where for swimming. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! Then was very clear that SD HAD to have them for her next swimming lesson and could we organize a time/place for me to drop them off.

This btw is the same woman who has done nothing but make it clear that she wants me to "stay out of her life". Then proceeded to email me 4 times in the last week about things left at our house that she could easily replace.

I am truly beginning to think that BM has a mental disorder. Every month or so she somehow goes on either a kick of "stay out of my life" or has a month of contacting SO or myself every 3 days. In fact on her last "stay out of my life kick I actually snapped and informed her that would be easy if she could refrain from contacting this family every 3 days. Now, that was not the right thing to do at all and a very weak moment on my part. Ever since that last episode though I have disengaged but caught myself being involved when BM emailed me asking about stuff left at the house. SO works away so it is difficult for him to deal with it. I now wish I had just relayed through him but I am sure that as well would have pissed BM off..

Anyways I got a little off topic... I feel like maybe I am over reacting about the kids being sick and texting. In the same notion I don't see why SO needs to be aware... Frustrated!

lil_lady's picture

BTW SO does not reply to these texts so there is nothing to be done about it. Asking her to stop will simply cause avoidable drama. Just really needed a good vent..

luchay's picture

I don't know - yes some of it does seem ridiculous and she just wants attention, but I think it's kind of different if they are sick - my ex lives in another state and only sees the dd's every 12 weeks but I still give him a quick heads up text if they are ill, or when something big happens (awards at school, whatevers) Usually I just try to arrange a Skype sess. for them to tell him their news themselves though.

But illness, yes I do let him know.

lil_lady's picture

I would get it if she could communicate on a stable basis. But when one week you are loosing your mind telling people to leave you alone and the next you are texting every three days. The way she makes it sound on bad weeks is like we are the bain of her existence. Personally if that is how I honestly felt I would do everything in my power to only contact that person unless absolutely necessary. Not to mention the endless useless reasons for engaging in communication mixed in with it all.

lil_lady's picture

Completely agree and this is why even the slightly reasonable contact has started to bother me! I honestly feel bad for their partners as well. Then again I am not sure who would be stupid enough to stay with someone who finds every excuse under the sun to contact their ex.

OMG why do they do that?! BM literally emailed one day to confirm their plans, which of course had taken 5 emIls, from a week earlier.

lil_lady's picture

Oh dont you love that?! My favorite comment as of late was her... to SO... you are a parent in my home and I am one in yours lil_lady is not a parent in my home. I want to parent with the fatjer of my children not him and his gf. Im sorry BM a. You lost that privileged when you made your husband so miserable he couldnt stand to be your husband for any longer, b. Maybe reconsider contacting me to ask me to take care of your childs needs... remember im not a parent!?

lil_lady's picture

I was going to say I am not sure what earth she is on but it is very much our house our rules. Especially with a baby coming, no BM you are not a parent in my home and certainly not in my home with my bio kids.