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Should we make step-son pay us for damage he incurred?

LindaKjl's picture

My 23 year old step son recently borrowed a small fishing boat that my husband owns (my husband gave him permission to take it out). After taking the boat out, my step son returns it and the prop and motor were damaged while he had it. We took it in to be fixed and it was $500.00 worth of damage that we had to pay for. In my opinion, the step son borrowed our boat, damaged it, and needs to pay us back for this repair bill. He has a full-time job and lives at home with his mom (rent free, utility free). My husband thinks that because it's his son, this is too much money to make him have to cough up.

Other pieces of the puzzle...last summer we bought a brand new pool liner. Step-son thought he would be nice and surprise my husband and used a "knife" to cut out our new solar cover and in the process, proceeded to make not one but two slices into our brand new pool liner that we now have had to patch.

Also, last summer my husband just finished recoating our driveway and step son came over and decided to change the oil in his truck while we were gone and proceeded to spill his old oil on our newly coated driveway leaving huge oil stain marks on the driveway.

I would like some opinions about this $500.00 boat motor repair bill. Should 23 year old step son be held responsible for reimbursing us for it or not?

Thank you.

hereiam's picture

Yep, he should pay for damages, it's called being a responsible adult. And for the love of God, keep him away from your house and possessions!

Jsmom's picture

He will not stop doing stupid stuff unless he has ramifications. Make him pay up. DH won't do it, but I would push the issue.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Yes, have his dumb ass PAY. $50 every two weeks for 5 months.

He doesn't pay rent anywhere? Damn straight he'll pay you back! Lesson learned that being irresponsible/stupid will cost you. }:)

He is way old enough to bear the responsibility.

~ Moon

hereiam's picture

IF my bio kids broke anything guess what THEY would offer to pay me back.

Yes, that's the way it is when you raise your kids to be responsible and considerate.

Willow2010's picture

So did the SS even offer to pay for it. He just damaged it and brought it back and said...Oh, I damaged your boat and I am returning it. Bye.

What did DH say to him?

LindaKjl's picture

It's my understanding step son returned the boat and didn't say anything. My husband discovered all this.
Also when my husband made a very vague "attempt" last night and called my step son and told him how much the repair bill was and thought he could pay $10 a week for a year, my step son said "I'm trying to get ahead" (like it's not his problem) and then hung up the phone on my husband. Now, because the step son got snarky with him, my husband is backing off from thinking he should pay anything.

Merry's picture

Somebody cops an attitude like that with me and they pay double. And they don't get to borrow anything from me, not even a butter knife, until it's paid.

Mikhaila87's picture

Even if you get him to pay the damage off monthly...Kids need to learn. Even of those kids are now adults.

AllySkoo's picture

You can't make him pay for it. Honestly, it's about the same as if a "friend" borrowed the boat. Your DH made some noises about wanting to be paid back and the guy said no. *shrug* So lesson learned. He doesn't get to borrow anything. Ever. Make sure your DH is on board with that, but there's nothing you can do about making SS pay you back unless you want to take him to court. (Which I think is probably not the way to go. Your DH would never go for it, for one.)

Shaman29's picture

Yes he should pay for the damages. Immediately.

And I would keep him away from the house, especially when you're gone or out of town.

Change all locks in case he has keys.

StepX2's picture

Unless your husband is on board, there isn't a way to make him pay. I agree that SS should pay but if this is husband's boat and he's willing to eat the repair cost, that's on him. But if the money used to fix the boat is from combined money from you and DH, then hell no would I be contributing to the "entitled attitude" of what should be a responsible adult.
I've actually been in many similar situations with my DH (fiance at the time because I didn't want to marry until everything was worked out) and adult skids. DH gave gave gave, they took took took. Until I pointed out what a disservice to his kids he was doing by not helping them to be responsible independent adults, did he finally wake up.

Redredwine's picture

I didn't read all the replies but my response is: YES, if he didn't have proof it was an accident.

My own kid did something stupid with his own stuff, I found out, and he's got to do "community service" around our house to make up for the amount of money it cost to fix his stuff. And, I did not let him just pay me the money because he'd just be giving me back his allowance...that I give him.

And, your SS is an adult. Adults own up to their mistakes (or are made to), even more-so than kids.

Kes's picture

Certainly he should pay, and any decent person would offer to pay, then not try and brush it aside and make it not his problem. Your SS sounds vile.   But I suspect that your DH will not have much joy in trying to squeeze blood from a stone. He should just never lend him anything ever again.   Personally, I wouldn't want such a nasty, selfish person in my house, who breaks things and then doesn't own up or offer to make good. 

ndc's picture

Of course he should pay, but he won't, because your husband is apparently spineless where he is concerned. I would let H know that Destructor is not to borrow any of your stuff and is to be closely supervised at your home.

Rags's picture

My brother borrowed my BFFs ski boat one weekend.  BFF was living with my family at the time.  Lil Bro did not raise the outdrive and ended up dragging the prop on the road as he pulled the boat home at the end of the day.  He was 16-17 at the time.

He took the boat to the boat shop, had the outdrive serviced and had the prop repaired.

Rags's picture

Yes, he should pay not only for the boat repairs, but also for the pool liner, and to have the driveway commpletely recoated.  

Adults bear the financial responsibility for their actions. Treat him as an adult.