Should i have BM fired from her job ???
See what you guys would do in my situation:
BM is bat shit crazy. Just a vicious, mean, nasty ugly .... human being if you can call it that. DH and BM divorced for several years, she has a new BF.. geez.. one would think she would calm down but NO... not getting any better.
She is a teacher at a religious jewish school. She's religious herself, always schlepping to the mosque or wherever they go ( I am an atheist and yes, I know its not a mosque, same shit ) . She is texting death treats to me on a regular basis. They sound like this: " I hope you die in a car accident today. Watch your car, somebody might have slashed your brake line ) or... " I hope you slowly die of cancer "
You know, really religious stuff.
I have a log and print outs of all this stuff . Neatly organized with time stamps etc. If the head rabbi , principal and whoever is in charge of this school would read this, and I would file charges and she would get investigated, her lard ass would get fired from this school as soon as I hit the " send " button which I am itching to do ( i have twitchy fingers )
However - if she loses her job ( with a criminal investigation up her kosher ass, would probably not get hired as a teacher anytime soon ) , the DH would have to fork out more money supporting her, SKIDS and SKIDS would probably spend more time at our house which I want to avoid like the plague. If she loses her income, the spawn would float to my house more often than i would like i am afraid. So maybe keep the texts in my back pocket for a while, in case i need it ? I mean, one never gets too old for a little blackmail. what do you think? Unfortunately, can not block her number from my iphone, and phone is connected to my office so cant just get a new phone that easily either.
Hahahaha!! I had to laugh
I had to laugh because I work for a Jewish agency, although I'm not Jewish.
NOT that there's anything wrong with that! My co-workers are great and joke about their religion themselves.
This is not acceptable
This is not acceptable behavior from anyone. Her job is her problem. You need to protect yourself. Even if these are empty threats this is sever harassment. You have a number of options to get her to stop. You can send her a letter from you and/or your lawyer telling her to desist in contacting you otherwise you will be pursuing legal actions against her (but you must be prepared to follow through). You could instate a restraining order against her. Personally I would just go to the police about this. Death threats, especially repeated ones of a specific nature are a very serious crime. You have the documentation. Go to the police now. You need to demonstrate that you will not be intimidated and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. Don't worry about what may or may not happen with the kids and CS and her job and her rabbi, none of those are your problem, and definitely shouldn't be your first concern when dealing with someone threatening you personally. Protect yourself first and worry about the rest later.
Yep, DH is begging me not to
Yep, DH is begging me not to go to police / school because he is afraid he would have full financial responsibility for SKIDS if Kosher mama is losing her income, I understand. Will most likely not go that drastic, for his sake, not hers. Would certainly like to put the fear of Moses into her, maybe pay an attorney for a nice letter to her !
Appreciate everybody's input.
Appreciate everybody's input. Will certainly look into having an attorney send her a letter. She's all mouth. when she see's me, she looks like she's about to piss in her grandma skirt.
Don't cut off your nose to
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Causing her to lose her job will just result in your husband paying more CS.
File harassment charges but don't mess with her ability to earn a living.
Talk to the attorney
Talk to the attorney 1st.
Maybe if she is threatening you, then he won't have to pay more?
I would also be concerned that BM would lie to skids about how situation and tell them you made it up to get her fired then you have to deal with how the skids treat you. (BMs have lied about other things that skids believe)
If she gets fired and he has to pay more than she would have more time to take care of skids.
Death threats are easily
Death threats are easily taken care of by the authorities. Warning you to "watch your car" and that she wishes you dead should be plenty for an OOP.
While I think you have a
While I think you have a serious case for harassment against her, I don't see how you could get her fired. Let the authorities handle her.
Send her a copy of what
Send her a copy of what you've listed. By the way without some back-up to your "imaginary" (her words) list of threats she probably wouldn't even get fired. But if you send it then it might shock her into backing off if you threaten to send it to the Rabbi.
Also you can ask an attorney to send her a letter threatening to sue and getting a restraining order at the same time. With the restraining order a copy of your list can be sent to show her you've keep some sort of "legal" proof.
You could slash her tires and brake lines and while you're there punch a hole in her radiator.
I second that.
I second that.
I read all you good people's
I read all you good people's advice, thank you very much.
Here is what I have decided to do. She will get a letter from an attorney ( I have a firm in my office building, and briefly spoke to an attorney yesterday, I am definitely in the wrong profession, how can you ask for so much money typing a few sentences? geez lol ) and we will put on the letter a CC to the Headmaster of the Jewish School as well as the Rabbi of the school.
We will not actually SEND copies of those letters to the school. We will just make her believe we have. This should make for some happy days at work for her.
I don't really care about her losing her income. I do care that the SKIDS would probably lose the place they live now, being uprooted again because mommy dearest can barely afford the high end townhouse she is renting as it is NOW. The SKIDS would not really understand what happened. All they would remember in a few years is that I had their mother fired from her job. While we are not close, I don't want them to hate me, since I do plan to spend the rest of my life with DH who is the great love of my life, despite all the crappola.
Yikes. One of our first
Yikes. One of our first moves was to hire a fancy pats lawyer and send a "Do not Harass" letter to her. She just laughed and ramped it up. Don't waste your money.
Death threats are illegal. DO file a police report and do the fake letter to her job thing. That might hit her where it hurts. As far as her kids not hating you, read more threads….kiss their ass or don't kiss their ass…you don't get to decide if they are gonna hate you or not. Only their BM has that power, and most all turn into their BM's eventually…i.e., haters.
I think a police report is
I think a police report is better than an atty letter for these reasons:
1-it's free
2-it succinctly and factually documents the behavior if further follow up is required
3-there are true consequences vs hollow threats if follow up is required
4-should you choose to go the RO route (I think you should), you will probably need a police report
5-you will end up with a police report anyway if any type follow up is required
6-a police report is as invisible or as visible as the BM wants to make it. It can be a mostly private but strong message to the BM you mean business or it can result in a very public arrest/charging if she persists
7-harassment reports made to police (in my experience) always include a phone call to the alleged suspect putting them on notice they are officially on the police radar should anything continue or escalate
Good luck!
Tabby great points. I will do
Tabby
great points. I will do a police report in addition to the attorney letter. I will not ( yet ) notify her employer. I want to mention that I am not terribly concerned about my personal safety. She is a paper tiger, all mouth. Its more a constant annoyance to me. But it has now certainly reached a point where action needs to be taken.
I appreciate all of you !
You're probably right, she's
You're probably right, she's likely all mouth. I always say those who *truly* want to harm you don't warn you first. They just do it.
Happily selfish, I would be
Happily selfish, I would be concerned over her threatening comments. People like her with severe personality disorders CAN act on feelings..the jails are full of people like her. Don't underestimate her danger potential. Get a restraining order ASAP and document everything. This chick sounds really scary!!
I think you're thinking too
I think you're thinking too deeply into this. Going through an attorney will not only waste your time, but a lot of money as well. Just take the threats and go to the police. If they decide to arrest her and it interferes with her job, that's on her. Do not interfere with her job in any way, shape or form. Just bring the txts to the police and tell them you want her to leave you alone.
If this makes it so her job is lost, she will not have grounds for more child support, because they cut her lose because of her own nasty actions, and won't have grounds. She'll have to get another job elsewhere. In any case, that is not your problem. If she's sending you death threats that are not encouraged by you, then just go to the police. It'll stop really fast.
Tell DH this has nothing to do with him. BM should NEVER have any reason to be contacting you anyway.