I really need help. I am pregnant and ready for a divorce. So my husband finally had the 3 of us sit down together and we talked to my 17 yr old step daughter about how her horrible behavior is unacceptable.  I told her that I love her and her behavior is very incredibly hurtful to me. I told her that both her dad and I fought to get her to live with us (she for YEARS complained about the horrible things her mom put her through) and that for the year she lived with us how much I enjoyed her being a part of our family.  Then when she began to be rude, ungrateful, and disrepectful to me that was when I stopped loving having her in our home. As I mentioned in her post she told me she wants nothing to do with me, she doesn't need a reason, she just does not like me. She also said she wants to move in with her BF she hates living with us and will do anything she can to move out.  Her dad told her that she is living with us til she is 18. He and I fight constantly about that.  She has put me through hell the past 6 months, and I cannot say the stress did not contribute to me losing my baby in August. 

Now fast forward 2 weeks and nothing has changed, of course. Saturday I find out that her joint account with my husband is negative $2200 and her and her BF will not tell the truth about what happened. I was upset because I feel my husband hid this from me and I feel that is very dishonest (there have been issues with him hiding debt from me in the past and he swore it would never happen again).  I am upset because if that account closes/charges off, that debt is HIS and goes one HIS credit which affects me because we are married.  He says I have no right to be upset, that he did not hide it from me, and that he just did not think to tell me about it. 

Am I wrong to feel that he was/is being dishonest?

Then because he was upset with her about the account she said he takes my side instead of hers (he always takes her "side") got mad and packed things in suitcases and moved out to her mom's.  My husband told me he hated me and that I should be happy because I got what I wanted. I told him that no, I did not get what I wanted, that I wanted my SD to stop being rude disrespectful and ungrateful.  That is what I wanted.  He said horrible things to me and then refused to talk to me. This was Sunday. 

Yesterday (Monday) I had an appt for a checkup after my miscarriage.  Because I have been exhausted and sick I thought there was a slight chance I was pregnant.  My husband knew about this appointment.  He said nothing to me Sunday night and nothing to me Monday morning, I leave for work early (6am) he doesnt. All day I thought about things friends and people on this forum have said to me regarding if SD doesnt live with us maybe the resentment will stop and maybe we could actually work towards having a good relationship again. Funny thing, my husband and I actually started counseling last Friday and it felt really good.  I thought not having her toxicity in the home and our going to counseling would start to mend everything. After work I went to my appointment where I was told I am 13 weeks pregnant.  I was shocked.  We were so excited about the baby that we lost and it almost killed me to lose it.  I went home and waited for my husband, he came home and completely ignored me.  Then my SD came out of her room and went to take a shower. 

I lost it!  I said what the hell is she doing here? He told me after I went to work she showed up crying and bruised because her mom beat her up so she came back. 

I told him I refuse to go through this that I do not need the stress and if we need to get a divorce we will because I do not want to live with her at all. I am done. I feel like I have tried everything I can and I just dont care to try more.  I dont even know that I believe her that her mom beat her up, she is so dishonest and manipulative and he falls for it every time.  He did not ask about my appt, so I told him I know where his prioirites are and they are not with me.  I told him about the preganacy and told him I would rather be alone and struggling than be married to someone who does not put me first and I refuse to put up with more of her crap especially when the stress will not only harm me and my kids, but this baby. I went to bed and he has said nothing to me. 

I have a 2 yr old and a 9 yr old. I do not want a divorce. I wanted more than anything to go to counseling with my husband to fix our marriage.  90% of our issues are because of his daughter.  I know he will want me to feel sorry for her and keep trying with her but I do not want to! I do not feel like I should have to!! Am I wrong for feeling this way??  Please help I feel so lost and alone.