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She is the Rudest, Most Ignorant, Self-absorbed, obnoxious, disgusting little brat I've ever seen!!!!

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

Last Wed or Thurs. I took my DH and Stepdragon to eat and while at dinner she proceeds to begin with the attitude about her teachers and her school and her grades, blah blah blah. I immediately got frustrated because C'MON - THAT'S ALL HER BRATTY ASS HAS TO DEAL WITH! It's not like Genius is in AP classes or anything, she's barely passing regular kid stuff. So I reminded her again that she can't talk to adults the way she does - she is not their peer and doesn't have the right to tell people blatantly how she feels at her age. She needs to learn a little modecom of respect for her ELDERS or there are reprecussions. "Reprecussions? Can you use smaller words, please?", she says. I said "no, if you don't know it, ask or look it up, that's how you learn new things. You are not stupid, so don't pretend to be so people won't expect much from you." So she immediately went into full bitch mode and says I'm done talking. I said good, I'm not done, maybe you can listen for a minute and this conversation isn't over until I say it is. She accused me of talking down to her and I explained that I was not talking down to her, she must not have heard the NOT STUPID part. I gave her an example and then after realizing this was escalating in a restaurant, I stopped. I said, fine, do what you want, fail for all I care. You can be the only one in your family not smart enough to get a HS Diploma - Great job aspiring to do something with yourself.
Ok I know, I got fed up and frustrated and maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I should've excused myself and went into the bathroom and punched something instead of even engaging with her.
The result was a silent dinner and a phone call to BM after she got away from me so she could bad mouth me and tell her mom how horrible I am to her. Oh and don't forget the mobile Facebook updates of how she can't wait for summer and how she is 100% done.
As if that weren't enough, Friday comes and she's coordinated everything with her mom without remotely checking with us as to our schedules. DH gets out of work and shows up at Softball at 5:50, I get there at 5:30, Games over at 6pm, BM is already at rendezvous point waiting and blowing up SD15's cell as to where she is at before the game even ends and add to all of this, the house we really wanted is back on the market and they want to entertain our bid. We wanted SD to see the inside since after all, she's directly benefitting here. We call BM to explain that something came up and we won't get there until 7:15 (it's 6:13 at the time of the call). She flips her lid, SD is frustrated because once BM is does berated and screaming at DH, she starts in on SD making her miserable. We need an extra 25-30 min. of our own time to run to this house and they are begrudging us that.
Then when we get to the house, wait for 10 min. for the Realtor and in the meanwhile huffin' & puffin' from the back seat, Pyscho SD calls BM and goes APESHIT! "Just go home, I'm never coming up there. We're gonna be here for the next F'in 3 yrs and this always happens whenever I make plans they alway have to f*** it up" WHOOOOOOAAAAA there - when did the rabid raccoon get in our car???? I had had enough at this point. I said is there a way we can get you signed into the High School where BM lives and got out of the car cause I wanted to cut her tongue right out of her mouth.
DH turned around got in her face and was screaming at her so bad that the whole car was shaking! He's one that doesn't say anything till he explodes and says everything. Unfortunately she wasn't crying when I got back in the car. We looked at the house and then took the rabid raccoon to her rabid mother and was done with it.
I am completely done. How dare she act as if the sacrifices that we make are not enough and that in fact the fact that we are trying to make a better life for us and HER is a BURDEN and INCONVENIENCE to her!!!!! How dare she think that we are at her beck and call and that we are not allowed to have our own needs that might every now and again come before hers????????????
I am completely disengaged - although I'm so angry with her. I cannot wait until she goes to her mothers for the summer. I can't wait until we go back to court - I am sick of trying and trying and trying just to get spit on and kicked in the teeth. She is a vile disgusting animal that needs a cage not a loving home. I'm going to make her so miserable - every chance I get. If she's going to make miserable and treat me like shit, I'm going to show her how it should be done - like a pro. For example, Oh you don't like spaghetti - well that's what's for dinner, every night.
Oh you're tired after softball, well Daddy's not home so I guess if no one will give you a ride you should start walking! Oh you want to go to your friends for the weekend, sorry. I don't have time to take you there. If they can pick you up and bring you home thats fine but if you don't come home, I'll just call the cops and report you as a run away. Oh you have a headache - sorry the music is too loud but I can't hear it very well for some reason. Oh you forgot your lunch money, STARVE!
She thinks I'm an evil step mother now, she doesn't doesn't know what kind of shit storm she just started!!!

Anon2009's picture

I agree with furie, she's old enough to know better and be civil.

Is she in counseling? She might have issues with BM and be directing all that at you guys (not trying to justify her behavior, but that might be what's happening).

Anon2009's picture

She probably is spoiled, but it sounds as though she lives with them and not BM, for whatever reason, so I wonder if she has abandonment issues too.

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

Really??? High Cholesterol????? I guess the beer is a prescribed treatment for that - ha ha! How about don't get anymore tattoos if it's so bad???? I might have bought high blood pressure but not cholesterol. If cholesterol is making her pass out, she should go to the hospital immediately as she's probably having a heart attack!!!! Biggrin
RIDICULOUS.
Thanks for the laugh

epgr's picture

seriously?? and is DH falling for this? People actually believe her??
how did you control the laughing?? I would have peed myself laughiing at her!
suprised she didnt say she passed out from blood loss during the tattoo.. it would make just as much sense..lmfao
the attention seekers never cease to amaze me!!

epgr's picture

WOW! one of those things that make ya go HMMMMM!
not calling her out on it only makes it possible for her to come up with more bullshit.. although it would be interesting to hear what she came up with..
sneak her a paper with www.webmd.com and tell her to research and come up with something that makes sense! haha

what an attention seeking effing moron!

Milomom's picture

becarefulwhatuwish4...wow, just wow. Your SD15 is obviously extremely spoiled, rude and everything else you put in the title to your blog. How long have you been with your DH and has she ALWAYS been like this? I give you a ton of credit for putting up with even half of that crap - it must be exhausting.

I just wanted you to know that I can relate somewhat (although I thought our SD15 was bad, yours seems worse, no offense). My SD15 has been failing math & science this whole school year - 10th grade (she also failed math all of last school year but the b.s. school system lets the teachers pass them with a 65 to get them to next grade - she should've at least had to go to summer school). She doesn't take AP classes or even Honors classes. Everything is General level. She can't even get above a 70 in gym class, for heaven's sake. All you have to do to get at least a 90 in gym is CHANGE and somewhat participate, but nope, she can't even manage THAT. Her report cards & progress reports all say the same thing "student missing homework assignments/labs, student working below ability level, etc...". Translation for parent: YOUR DAUGHTER IS LAZY AND ISN'T DOING HER HOMEWORK OR STUDYING FOR EXAMS BECAUSE SHE'S TOO BUSY SENDING 10,000 TEXTS/MONTH ON HER CELL!! YOU'RE THE PARENTS, DO SOMETHING!!!!

Sorry, but IMO your SD's behavior, laziness, etc... is because her PARENTS (BM & DH) aren't making or enforcing any RULES, there are no CONSEQUENCES to her actions, she's not AFRAID to be this way - and as a matter of fact, by NOT punishing her behavior, they are actually REINFORCING her behavior. Bad parenting overall. I'm not blaming them completely - she is absolutely old enough to know better. No excuses.

My advice: DISENGAGE - at whatever level you need to. It has worked WONDERS for me. Once I started doing LESS for skids and MORE for myself and my happiness, things have been MUCH better in our house. Don't feel guilty about it, either. If buying that new house, or anything else for that matter, is important for YOUR happiness, then GO FOR IT. If your SD doesn't understand that your decision about the house benefits her also, then to heck with her.

What I found is that the LESS I did for skids, the MORE my BF HAD to do for/with them, the MORE he became aware of their behavior/laziness/lies, etc... It forces these guys to actually be a better parent to THEIR kids - and they are DIRECTLY AFFECTED by skids poor behavior/bad attitudes. Hence why your DH finally BLEW UP on your SD the car that day (and btw, GOOD FOR YOUR DH!! HE FOUND HIS BALLS & HIS SPINE AT THE SAME TIME!!! lol). Now THAT'S progress!!!

I'd bet that all you do for SD15 really isn't appreciated by her anyway, or at the worst, she likely EXPECTS you to do, do, do for her and give, give, give - and do absolutely NOTHING nice for you in return. So maybe if you STOP doing for her and trying to help her (be a "mother" figure for her), she'll actually notice and do more FOR you to get that love & attention. She'll learn that in real life, it's a two-way street: you GET what you GIVE, you REAP what you SOW. She's 15 and like you said, she's not stupid - she'll realize this.

I hate the whole "helpless, poor me" and "damsel in distress" bullshit act that you mentioned you called her for at dinner that night. In my case, SD15 is learning THAT behavior DIRECTLY from BM - she's the laziest, most self-centered, entitled, self-righteous, live off of CS & other people, dependent, pathetic woman I've EVER SEEN. If she could pop out another kid now before it's too late (she's 43) with another poor guy, she'll guarantee herself another 21 years of CS and living off of someone else instead of EARNING things herself. Her problem is, in the 6 years it's been since she & BF have been apart, she STILL can't manage to find a normal guy and when she finds someone, she can never get them to stay.

Our SD15 is learning from BM how to "play the system" and we teach her here at our house that's not the road to take to have a successful life. In the end, it's her choice to make.

Good luck becareful!!! I hope this helped you. Keep us posted on how this all plays out.

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

Wow, I agree. You and I are living the same life. BM is exactly how you explained yours to be. EXACTLY! She finally found a guy (on the internet) and decided to move in with him after 2 months and that's why that vile rabid animal is living here. I'm sure she is not too thrilled that the animal will be moving back in with her in June because well, we all know that there goes that relationship and she's relying on him to give her a roof over her head. But once SD opens that mouth of hers, BM's BF is not going to like it and when he gets to deal with the chaos that surrounds her (out of her own making), he won't want them there. I feel bad for the guy. Thankfully, I believe she's had her tubes tied - I HOPE!!! She raises horrible beasts!

SD has completely burned me out - I can't even look at her without wishing she was dead. I'm not even hurt - I'm just ANGRY! I am angry and sad - sad because of the status of my marriage and for my DH and angry that she has so much control. I don't like living like this and I am looking for a room to rent until she is out of here. She has run me out of my own home and I don't even know if we can salvage our marriage after all this.
I have to admit though, I'd love to hear how this crazy bitch spins her little story to make everyone feel so bad for her.

jojo68's picture

My BF daughter is up and coming to be what your SDs are. She is only nine and 3/4 so she is only in the early stages. Last night my BF was laying on the couch sick with a 102 fever. She asks him what we are having for dinner (she always asks him and I am the one who does the cooking???)and he tells her chicken fried steak and she throws a fit and says she doesn't like that. Then she proceeds to tell him to get up and fix her a plate and get her a drink and get out of her spot on the couch. I was so angry my hands were shaking.

Milomom's picture

yup, jojo68, sounds like you have a SD like ours in the making unfortunately. My advice is to have BF nip it in the bud now...there's still time in your case. Trust me, you may not think there's still time or hope, but there IS. My SD15 was 9 when I first started dating BF.

Also, do you find that your SD9 is turning into a mini version of your BM (her mom)? Then that's further confirmation you have a problem on your hands.

Really drives me absolutely NUTS that these young girls somehow worship the BM's, meanwhile BM is only interested in control & satisfying the needs of her ego - they use these skids as pawns in their little "games" instead of raising them to be educated, independent, loving, ETHICAL young women.

jojo68's picture

Actually I don't have a problem with her acting like her BM...BF has her all the time and she sees BM very little. BM doesn't buy her things and disciplines her so she doesn't want any part of that. She doesn't really act like mini versions of anyone except for Satan...wow did I say that... }:)

epgr's picture

.. and did he?
around here if you say something to the "non cook" you might not get what I am making.. if I am not good enough to talk to then I am not good enough to cook for you..

jojo68's picture

epgr...I like your way of thinking...She always ask BF and BF always tells her and 99 percent of the time she doesn't like or eat what we have for dinner and I am not tooting my own horn but I don't make bad food...everyone else eats it and gets seconds. If it doesn't come out of a box or MCDonalds it is no good to her. She will also complain about being hungry before the food is done and whines and complains right after I just start cooking. I really let it bother me and I shouldn't. You are so right...if I am not good enough to ask, I am not good enough to be your cook.

epgr's picture

she might have to break down and say something to you.. and then by that time food is put away, dishes are done.. and oh lookie here the only thing left is the cold stuf she didnt like, complain and I am sure I can find something you reallllly dont like.
DH now backs me on this.. it took awhile, cuz I would treat him just like the kids.. told him if he enabled that shit then he didnt deserve any better. .. wow that sounds super mean when it right infront of me in black and white.. eh.. whateever works right!?!

jojo68's picture

you know my BF actually told her last night if she didn't want to eat what we had then she could starve...wow I was kinda shocked by that because usually doesn't say that. He has been irritated before by her resistance to eat what we have for dinner...maybe he could be coming around a little.

epgr's picture

my daughter use to try to just ask me things and if my husband tried to answer she would say "I was talking to my mom".. I tried everything to get her to stop being rude.. till one day I went on strike.. everything she asked or say to me she had to ask or say to him.. everything went thru him..
I do not understand letting kids act like that.. it is very disrespectful.. my daughter learned very quickly that my husband is to be respected.. they did bond the one time I found her at a party she was not suppose to be at (really its the only time she lied to me) well Dh insisted on going with me to drag her ass out of the party.. she got mouthy and I was gonna kill her.. we joke now that DH saved her life.. for us it got better.. well as far as my kids go cuz I demand they have respect for adults.. and they were not going to treat DH like shit in his own house..