Seriously?
Ok. My step daughter thinks that when she comes over her dad is supposed to be at her every beck and call. She follows him around foot to foot. Screams when he is not in her eye sight or receive instruction from me instead of him. No she is not 1. No, she is not 2. She is 5. RIDICULOUS!!! So the last time she was over, she knocked on our bedroom door asking for her dad. He told her to wait and that he will be out shortly. Well apparently he did not move fast enough for her or she felt like she was not receiving his undivided attention. So, what does she do? She sits in her room, urinates and defecates on herself - despite the bathroom being less than five feet away from her room. My husband was shocked and I was livid. But I told him that she is used to you running every time she calls. When you didn't this, she decided to do something else to get your attention. I thought this warranted a spanking but I think all he did was fuss at her.
get ready because if he
get ready because if he changes and starts to cut the cord connecting them she will have melt downs from hell. Get used to crys for attention.
Too late. I've been dealing
Too late. I've been dealing with the crys for attention for the past year. But daddy seems to think that his darling princess only cries because she misses her daddy. Yeah, ok. Keep believing that.
Your problem is not your SD.
Your problem is not your SD. Your problem is your husband and how he, as the adult, handles the situation. If you really want things to change, you're going to have to redirect your resentment towards your husband. You need to have a calm discussion with him about this, ask him what he thinks can be done to improve the situation for ALL of you, and ask him what rules and consequences he thinks are reasonable for SD to have. Then you two need to sit down with SD and he needs to lay out the rules and consequences (taking away a privilege that she really cares about for the rest of the day is a great, effective way to get kids to act better) in a way she can understand, and tell her that she doesn't have to love or like you, but she does have to be nice to you and obey you. He also needs to say he will always love her no matter how bad she is. I know you might not like to read this, but he's her dad. Mom and Dad are and should be the two people she can count on to love her unconditionally.
Another thing that will help is for him to carve out a half-an-hour during every visit to play with her, ask about her friends, school, etc. That can really get kids to open up
Also, what is going on at her mom's house? What's her mom like?
Thanks for the feedback! I
Thanks for the feedback!
I agree wholeheartedly with you. I know she is doing exactly what he has allowed her to do. I have told him time after time after time after time after time after time that he is responsible for the behavior she displays. There is no such thing as a calm discussion with him about her. He is not willing to listen to anything I am saying. Trust me, I have been trying for over a year now faithfully. He automatically gets defensive and stops listening. About her visiting, he devotes all of his time to her and she will not allow him to partake in any activity that does not involve her. She is very demanding and moves when she says move. Mom's house is loads of fun. No respect. No boundaries. No rules. No structure. Anything goes! I don't know what else to do. Getting tired and extremely frustrated!
I agree. Backing off is hard
I agree. Backing off is hard for me. I absolutely love kids and my passion is to help them realize their full potential. So, I get frustrated when I know she can do so much better than the behavior she is displaying. But, I think I will try to back off. And no, she was not forced to clean herself. It was daddy to the rescue!
Wow, your husband has created
Wow, your husband has created quite the little monster. Now that it's becoming a huge inconvenience, I hope he is prepared to take steps to put a stop to it, because if not, she's going to be a real terror as a teenager and your life is going to be turned upside down!
This is what I am trying so
This is what I am trying so hard to prevent. But like you all said, this is pretty much out of my control.