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Sd's rude behavior at dinner, Husbands reaction

georgina29's picture

SD (5) behaves not the best when we go out for dinner. She kept shouting "where is my fork?" over and over well before the food even arrived. My husband thought it was funny and laughed. She then proceeded to eat mostly using her hands during dinner and ended up getting sauce all over the place, including on my top in which my husband said "She didnt do that. theres no way she could have" insinuating I got the sauce on myself. Then his son (8) proceeds to fart loudly while we are eating and he reacts by laughing with his son. Why are these parents in denial of their kids behaviors Why do they react by laughing at their kids instead of correcting them? Am I the only one who doesnt find it funny or have a I lost my sense of humor? 

icanteven's picture

I have many stories that are like this, including my husband insisting his son could not possibly have done whatever he did, and farting at the table. It is disgusting, and I have no idea why he does not understand this. My kids have sometimes done bad things at the table, and I knew they were not good, and said something. My point is, parents know when their kids are doing wrong. We know it is not funny or good. I do not know why some of them choose to allow it, as your husband and mine do.

Ispofacto's picture

...and this is why I never dine with SD, ever.  First she lost dining out priviledges, then she lost dining with me priviledges.  So by default, DH lost dining with me priviledges.  Oh well, sucks to be him, maybe he should've trained his feral pig how to behave.

fairyo's picture

No, you haven't lost your sense of humour. I was once treated to theX's grandchild behaving in a similar manner at dinner in a public place. I made my feelings about it known and boy, did I pay for it afterwards.

He laughs because he is either embarrassed by his child's behaviour and doesn't know how to deal with it, or he genuinely finds it funny. Either way, it isn't good.

I would just refuse to eat with them, say you'll have a table to yourself or just politely smile whilst saying 'these are not my kids,' between gritted teeth... Otherwise just display manners that are much worse than theirs until DH gets the message!

Cover1W's picture

Been there done that.

I stopped going to restaurants with them for over a year.  Wouldn't do it.  It got better, SD12 is great now.  The last time I went with SD14 (in March/early April?) I had to tell her to put her shoes on. 

elkclan's picture

Is that this about mismatched standards for table behaviour? What are his family like at group dining? What are HIS manners like? 

I had lower table standards than my new partner. I raised my game and enforced the new standards on my son. It didn't take long. Be really clear what you expect table behaviour to be like. What you are asking for is not too much. You need to have a plain and direct conversation about behavioural standards and then work to enforce them together. You need to be really plain to the kids, too. If kids haven't been told and haven't been corrected you cannot expect them just to know table manners, but once they have been told and it's been reinforced a few times they are old enough to follow it. 

Areyou's picture

Your husband is with someone out of his league. If he doesn’t know that his kids are being disgusting and rude in a public place then he has no class. Dump him already. You don’t sound like you’re in a happy marriage. You need to be with someone with more class and who has similar standards as yours.